


After We Fall

by Le_Oof



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Also no betawriter so we're in for an adventure to say the least, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Blood/gore/other triggering elements will be appropriately warned in notes, Blow Jobs, Brand new feeling, Canon-Typical Violence, Cum Swallowing, Dialogue Heavy, Eventual Smut, First Mac fic that I haven't had the inclination to scrap, Fluff, Hand Jobs, I gotta make a new one send help, I lied, I promised this in the notes and y'all delivered 😏, I'm not even sure how betawriters work but if y'all wanna be one for me hmu, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Intrigue, Introspection, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Injuries, Oh God that title is ghastly, Oral Sex, Other tags to be added bc I suck at tagging, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Sole is kinda awkward but he's also kind of a badass, Sometimes a little more than minor, Thats a tag I've never made before, The burn really isn't very slow, Wrote about it maybe but sticking a tag to it?, it's a running gag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:20:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 46,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28430802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_Oof/pseuds/Le_Oof
Summary: This new boss was weird, to say the least. He talked considerably more than any other client he'd ever had, he rarely ever slept, he had a quirkiness and life to him that no soul that spent their time in the wasteland would ever have, and he was really fucking considerate. About everything. He was a literal walking, talking Mr. Nice guy and MacCready certainly wasn't falling for the act.But Mac needed the money. There had to be worse people to travel with, right?At least this Boss knew how to fight.
Relationships: Robert Joseph MacCready/Male Sole Survivor, Robert Joseph MacCready/Sole Survivor
Comments: 25
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **DISCLAIMER**  
> I do not own any of these characters besides Sole himself. Any game dialogue, plot, or characters used are for entertainment purposes only, and belong solely to Bethesda. 
> 
> ALSO! um, side note: while I think Mac's decision not to cuss is commendable, I still curse like a goddamned sailor. Doubly so when I write. So, yeah I'm gonna be cussing-and so's Mac. Some people might not like that, but restraint is such a fickle thing 😏
> 
> LAST THING: Alcoholism and Drug Abuse are big factors in this fic and I know that can be a trigger for some, so I take no offense if any of you decide to click away from this fic. I care for your well-being and applaud you for caring about it too ♥️. That being said, the references will usually be made lightly. Down the road, that may change, but for now I'm sticking to light referencing only. 
> 
> Okay, I think I got everything mentioned that I needed to. Enjoy the story, and thanks a bunch for reading and again in advance for kudos, comments and bookmarks should you feel so compelled to do so! Love you all ♥️

Robert Joseph MacCready was decidedly _not_ having a good day. 

He'd woken up with a splitting headache from his stupidity the night before, and figured the best cure for a hangover would be drinking some more. But his stash was dry and when he went to collect more, he was denied. Charlie motioned to the tab he'd been keeping, and MacCready wasn't even aware a number could have that many zeros. He pouted, slamming back on the raggedy couch in his vip room and tried sleeping it off, but that of course wasn't happening-luck and consequence assured.

Then business almost walked in his door, but the poor guy got stabbed dead by some drifter before he could broker a deal with him. MacCready took up some vigilante justice and shot the guy between the eyes, and then he had a bloody mess to clean up. He _still_ had crusted blood stains on the front of his duster. He grimaced, inspecting the state of the thing with a shrug. Blood paled in comparison to the many fluids crusted into the sleeves, and the small crevices around his armpits and back. He considered washing it, but the last time he'd tried, it'd almost became putty in his hands. He owed it to some people to keep it on, and so he kept it on. 

And then, just after he'd finished throwing the bodies in the trash pile outside and was through with scrubbing the bloody, gutty mess on the floor with Abraxo Charlie was so eager to supply him with, new people walked in.

He did not like these people. 

"Can't say I'm surprised to find you in a dump like this, MacCready.''

He didn't even have to look up to recognize the voice, and he bristled immediately as a response. 

He really needed to invest in a door for this place. 

"Winlock!" He put on a comical smile, thrusting his hands out at his sides as if he was about to hug the guy. He wasn't. "Man, it's been-how long? Three months?" He put on a show of furrowing his brows in mock concern. "Well hell, I guess it has been. Don't tell me the Gunner's best man is getting _rusty?_ Think of what that'll do to their reputation!"

"Cut the shit, MacCready," Winlock hissed through clenched teeth. MacCready dropped his hands, smug smirk on his face as he stared at his former CO with half-lidded eyes. "We didn't come here to start trouble."

"Funny, I thought that's exactly what Gunners _do."_ The act was growing stale the more those ugly, beady eyes of his bore into MacCready and he eventually dropped the act and crossed his arms across his chest, body rigid. "The fuck do you want, Winlock?"

"We heard you're still taking jobs around the Commonwealth," Mac cocked a brow at the suggestive ' _we,'_ '-until he caught sight of Barnes who'd materialized next to his boyfriend. "That's not gonna work for us." 

MacCready scoffed incredulously. "Your dicks really that small you're gonna claim the entire Commonwealth as your own? Get off." He sneered toward Barnes. "Or your girlfriend here can do that for you."

Barnes sneered, but Winlock put a strong hand on his shoulder. He glared icily at MacCready. "The only reason we're not filling your body with holes right now is because we don't want a war with Goodneighbor. We know our boundaries; something you never learned."

MacCready rolled his eyes, arms still crossed as he shrugged dramatically. "Happy to disappoint you."

Winlock chuckled darkly, shaking his head. "You can play the tough guy act all you want. But if we hear you're still taking jobs around the Commonwealth, you're finished."

"Well, that'll be a problem." MacCready widened his eyes at the sound of a new voice, all three heads snapping toward it. A man, tall, light brown hair with bright green eyes was leaning with a confident air about him on the doorway leading out to the bar. "See, MacCready here was just about to head out with me. And we're going to be operating _all_ over the Commonwealth." 

"Who the fuck is this?" Winlock snarled, looking back at MacCready. 

"The fuck should I know?" MacCready snapped back, nodding toward the figure. "Ask him yourself." 

"Yes, please, ask me yourself. I love talking about myself."

Winlock stared between the two men, brow tightening with visible frustration the more the seconds ticked by. Eventually, he seemed to relent enough to sigh out an irritated breath before stepping back. "C'mon Barnes. We're done here." He jabbed a finger at MacCready. "You better watch your back." 

And then Winlock turned, walking toward the door, but Barnes didn't follow. He was apparently _not_ finished with MacCready, glowering menacingly at him. Winlock turned, face contorted in barely contained rage. "Barnes! Let's go. _**Now.**_ _"_

Robert Joseph MacCready wasn't having a good day. And the day wasn't over yet. 

Barnes slammed into Mac's body, catching him off guard and sending him smacking against the ground, head thudding hard against the corner of the nightstand table next to his chair. He groaned, dazed immobile as he tried blinking the stars from his vision. He vaguely felt a cold metal being pressed to his throat, pricking him enough that he felt a sharp sting. 

"Barnes, what the fuck are you-"

"Get off him." A voice interrupted Winlock. It was the man from before, but his voice was much more harsh, bitingly cold. Even being completely out of it, the voice sent chills down MacCready's spine. He faintly heard the click of a gun in his dishevelled state. "Unlike you cowards, I'm perfectly content with starting a war with Goodneighbor if it means I get to splatter your brains all over the wall."

 _I just fucking cleaned brains off the floor,_ MacCready thought because he was too sluggish still for his lips to move. 

"Barnes, if you don't get the fuck off him I'll shoot you myself." 

Minutely, he felt the cold metal being pushed off his neck before he heard Barnes groan, half getting dragged off Mac by the man and partly getting up on his own. "This ain't it, pretty boy," he snarled viciously before allowing himself to be dragged out of the bar by Winlock like some kid that pissed off his mom. 

The actual pretty boy's face hovered just above his vision now, brow quirked and a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lip. "Damn, he really layed you out, didn't he?" MacCready still slightly felt as if he was swimming, so he could only muster a sharp glare at the man. He chuckled in response. "Here, let me help you up." 

Before Mac could even stick his hand out, the man was grabbing his arms forcibly, yanking him up. His vision quickly turned black, and when he was able to see again, he noticed he was sprawled out on the rickety chair with the man standing over him, prodding at the fresh battle scar on the back of his head. 

"Sorry. Didn't know you hit your head." Mac was already too far in this situation to stop it, so he reluctantly let the man do his work, poking at prodding at the wound before pushing cloth and antiseptic towards it, finishing off the suture work he'd done. "Kay, looks good." He backed away, stuffing his unused supplies in his pack and discarding the rest in the trash can in the corner of the room. 

"That was probably-" Mac began, wincing slightly at the slight slurring in his words but working through it, "the stupidest and bravest thing I've ever seen someone do." 

The man stopped, brows furrowed in confusion. "What, you mean what I did with those guys? It's not the first time I've had to pull a guy off someone else when things get heavy. Not that big of a deal." 

MacCready's eyes widened in shock. He could tell now by the oblivious expression on this man's face why he wasn't the least bit hesitant about joining in. "You got no idea who those guys were, do you?" 

The man titled his head slightly, shrugging. "Couple drunk idiots looking to settle a score?"

"Those were Gunners. You know, the high-end, guiltless thug mercenaries who are absolutely perfect at murdering a man for much less?" 

If that fazed the guy, he didn't show it. Instead, he scoffed and rolled his eyes. "If they were so good at it, they would've snuffed you months ago." 

MacCready opened his mouth to reply, but then hung it there and eventually closed it because _shit,_ he didn't actually have a reply to that. "So you're here because you're looking for a gun? I'm sure you didn't come down here looking for a friend."

The man fake pouted at that, crossing his arms across his chest. "What, you're saying you can't work for me _and_ be my friend?" 

"Doesn't work that way," Mac said, guarded and final. 

The man quirked a skeptical brow, but shrugged all the same. "We'll see," he muttered before rifling through his pack. "How much you charge?" 

"250. Up front. No negotiations. Then you have me till I work it off." 

"250, huh?" The man's green eyes flicked up to MacCready, a teasing and charming offset to them. "Everything is negotiable. Would you settle on 200? I _did_ just save you from a particularly gruesome fate, after all."

Mac sat and stewed on that. He hated having to work for less, this usually never happens where the client turned to haggling him down a peg. Usually, it was no questions asked, full up front and they usually didn't even need Mac for that long. It worked, and if a system worked, there was no need to change or fix it. 

But that was before. MacCready hadn't had a client in weeks now, not since people started to figure out who he used to work for. And caps were short, something he desparately needed not just for himself, or the Gunners, but for his son. His sick, dying son that he'd come down here years ago to help but got caught up in all this shit and couldn't do a damned thing to help anymore. 

He sighed. A job is a job, and 200 caps still isn't something he could afford to just let go. 

"Fine. You've got a deal."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SLIGHT EW WARNING, a bit of gore at the end of the chapter. Next chapter will be considerably more action-packed/violent/gorey, though, so be prepared for that.

His boss was- _weird._

He'd begun noticing it the minute they walked outside the Third Rail, honestly, when he went straight for Daisy and asked her how many 'antiques' she had in stock. MacCready chose to give him the benefit of the doubt-maybe "antiques" was code word for ammunition-until Daisy pulled out a drawer full of complete junk and Boss damn near bought the entire stock. 

Okay, so he was a junk collector. Not necessarily weird, just a waste of time. He could live with that. Maybe. He wouldn't even comment on it. Okay, he wouldn't _try_ to. It's the thought that counts. That was the old timer phrase, right? 

And then the guy curbed straight to digging through trash heaps for shit, and that's when he realized the guy was a complete kook. For real, there's a reason they're in a pile of _trash._ As soon as anything would catch his eye, no matter how absolutely grotesque, matted, or covered in blood and other bodily fluids MacCready didn't want to even think about the objects were, he'd smile like some madman and wipe them off, sticking them in his pack. 

And he did it like it was the most normal thing to do, a Lazy Sunday morning routine. Like getting on your hands and knees and wading in literal shit, piss, and dead things wasn't something to turn your nose up at.

MacCready held his tongue. It took him almost biting it off, but he managed it. And that was an accomplishment for the ages. 

"People would have died for these things back in the olden days, you know that?" He was holding up this old rectangular object, black screen with a singular button on the front. "Come to think of it, I'm sure some did. People were absolutely obsessed with this shit, so much they stopped being human when they got their hands on them. Obsessions over material objects like this always get to me." He smirked slightly, chuckling as he stuffed it in his pack. "I have three."

"And you know this how?" MacCready sighed, referring to the whole "committing mass murder and later suicide for these things" thing. 

MacCready didn't miss how his emotion slowly faltered. He shrugged, face placid as quick as a blink again. "I just do."

MacCready raised a brow, but if the boss saw it-which MacCready knew he did-he didn't say anything. Instead, he stood and wiped the bits that hadn't stained the pants of his armor from his knees. 

"We should get going, yeah? Got a shit ton of stuff to squeeze out of you 'fore you ditch me."

"It's not like I'd just up and leave in the middle of the night, Boss. You'll know when I'm done." MacCready rolled his eyes at his assuming nature.

The Boss shrugged noncommittally, unperturbed. "I'm not your jailer, MacCready. You're done when you say you're done. I won't keep you here when you'd rather be somewhere else."

"Yeah, well," MacCready breathed in through his nose, scratching at the back of his neck. This guy was entirely too nice to be someone in dire need of a gun-for-hire. It rubbed MacCready in all the wrong ways. "Like I said. You'll know."

The Boss flashed MacCready another one of those perfect smiles, and this guy was so perfectly wired and un-wastelandish it made MacCready literally want to punch him in the face. He swallowed back the rage bubble in his throat. "I'll make sure to be very sad when that moment comes, then." The Boss winked, motioning for him to follow as he turned and walked away from the trash piles. "You know Hancock, MacCready?"

"The mayor?" MacCready asked, not making it a point to hide the matter-of-fact sass from his voice. "Nope, never heard of him."

"He's the reason I knew you existed, you know?" The boss began, unfazed by MacCready's wisecracking. "I hadn't even mentioned needing a merc for hire, and then all of a sudden he's stabbing a deadbeat and talking my ear off about you."

MacCready couldn't help but snicker at that. "Yeah, that sounds like him. Wish he would stop pretending I'm some charity case, though. I was doing fine down there."

The Boss chuckled. "Definitely looked like it," he winked as MacCready bristled. "Just fucking with you. He seems like a good guy, though. Wouldn't hate having a guy like that looking out for me."

The suggestive blame in his tone unnerved MacCready. "Sure, whatever. Where are we going?"

The Boss quirked a brow, but let it go all the same as he stuffed some ammo boxes he'd bought from Kleo into his pack, tossing MacCready some extra rifle ammo before shouldering his pack and walking toward the main gates. "You ever hear of the Minutemen?"'

"That militia group dead-set on making the Commonwealth a better place but the Commonwealth ended up winning?" MacCready scoffed. Too many people out here trying to "make this world better." Either they're entirely clueless, wrong about what "better" really means, or they're simply trying to make themselves remembered as "heroes" for their own selfish needs. He knew too much about how the Wasteland worked to know that the last possibility was more than likely the case. "What about them? Thought they all disbanded?"

"They did," Boss agreed with a curt nod. "That doesn't mean _everyone_ gave up, though. They're trying to rebuild the group from the ground up."

MacCready scoffed incredulously. "Well, good for them."

"You got a problem with that?" The Boss challenged, fixing MacCready with a glare that wasn't exactly menacing, more intrigued than anything. 

It still made MacCready squirm slightly. "No. Good on them for trying to be good people. Yay. But the world will never run out of bad shit, or bad people, or bad shitty people. No matter how hard they try to change that."

The Boss studied him for a moment, eyes squinted and head tilted slightly. "It's good enough that they're trying though, isn't it?"

"It's a lost cause, you ask me," MacCready mumbled, but returned the Boss's questioning glare with one of his own. "Why did you bring them up, anyway?"

The Boss stood straighter, humorous smirk on his face as he studied his partner. "Because, MacCready, I'm their General."

Well. Shit.

* * *

They were heading off to some Fort in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by Mirelurks because some dude named Preston told them they needed to take it over. 

MacCready couldn't really say he wasn't impressed. To still be big enough, to still have enough people that believed in the cause and were willing to die for it so soon after the Boss had taken over, it'd probably even make the Institute smile at them. 

Before they'd infiltrate and take the entire organization over from the inside, that is. 

"We're not-entirely a force to be reckoned with. Most of our militia is made up of farmers and civilians who picked up a gun for the cause. But I guess that makes it better, right? If we were some occupying military force, more people would feel like they were forced into fighting instead of being able to choose for themselves. Not to mention it makes growing into power get off easier with the civilians when they realize it's them fighting."

MacCready tilted his head back and forth, weighing the speculation in his head. "Sure, but occupying military forces have training under their belts."

"True, but this is the Wasteland, MacCready. If they didn't have any experience, they would've been dead long before they even picked up a gun out here."

MacCready shrugged. "I see your point, Boss. Just don't know why you're reaching so far for a second opinion if you're so confident in your troops."

The Boss drew in a breath, exhaling it slowly. "Good point," was all he muttered, going silent after that and every time MacCready looked over, the Boss's brows would be knitted together deeply in thought. 

MacCready sighed. "Look, don't worry about it Boss. Your guys are obviously dedicated and determined enough to believe they've got this. And they certainly believe in you, or there wouldn't even be talk about doing it. Sometimes confidence is all you need to win." He smirked slightly, bumping his arm with his elbow. "Besides, you got me on your side. You're not losing today."

The Boss beamed at him, chuckling as he nodded shortly, looking down at his feet. "Yeah, I guess you're right, MacCready."

* * *

Okay, so they had a bonding moment. That didn't mean they were friends, and it certainly didn't make the Boss any less weird.

It's when they'd just barely made it out of a hairy gunfight with a squad of Raiders-MacCready literally _saw_ the blood shoot out of Boss's arm where a bullet had grazed it-and the Boss started humming; unbothered as he looted the bodies, that MacCready finally snapped. 

"You're fucking weird, Boss."

The Boss stopped his humming, eyes flicking to MacCready with a challenging brow raised. "And you're a smartass, MacCready."

MacCready sighed at the slight guarded undertones in his sarcasm. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just-you're a lot different than my other clients."

"Oh?" The Boss smirked. "Most people would find that endearing."

"You're too-undisturbed." He gestured wildly at his arm. "I mean, your arm is literally dripping blood and you're humming Moonlight Sonata."

The Boss chuckled. "You know Beethoven? I'm impressed."

"I've met plenty of people like you, Boss. Too nice, too considerate, too oblivious to the impending doom they're surrounded by. They all end up hiding something." MacCready narrowed his eyes at him. "Are you?"

"What's your first name, MacCready?" The Boss asked, and his voice was incredibly calm which honestly scared MacCready more than if he was screaming it.

He faltered. "Wha-?"

"Where'd you come from?"

MacCready shook his head. "What are you doing?"

"Where are your parents? Do you even have parents? A family of your own? Can you read? What were you doing with those Gunners?" The Boss narrowed his eyes, dark and beady with barely checked rage as the questions kept coming.

MacCready gulped under his gaze. "Boss."

"Just because I'm unorthodox and I choose not to tell you my entire life story doesn't mean I'm hiding something," he ground out, voice heavily guarded now. "I know next to nothing about you, am I meant to just assume you're some sociopathic murderer hiding behind some innocent tough guy façade?"

MacCready kept quiet. Partly because he had a good point, and partly because he was frankly terrified of his reaction and how much worse it would get if he opened his mouth again.

The Boss sighed, hands busying themselves with looting. He was looking down at his work when he opened his mouth again. "I try to stay as positive as I can, MacCready," his voice was much softer now, and his green eyes were kind again as they looked toward him, "because there's absolutely no quality of life in focusing only on the negatives. There's far too much bad in this world to forget about it, but it doesn't mean I have to dwell on it. If I'm able to find the brighter side of the bad, it-" he looked as if he were about to let something slip but caught himself, sighing and biting back the words. "It gives me hope."

MacCready swallowed thickly, his throat very dry all of a sudden. He'd stumbled upon an optimist, such a rare breed these days. He may as well have partnered with a damn unicorn. Still, he had a good point. He may not see the world in the same lens as him, but that certainly didn't give him a right to throw stones. Especially considering his own stones were still hiding in his basement. He sighed, looking down at his boots. "You're right. M'sorry, I won't pry."

He didn't actually see the smile the Boss was directing at him, but he certainly felt it burning a glittery hole straight through his damn skull. "Don't worry about it, MacCready. I don't blame you for being careful." There was shuffling from him as he stood, and a lightly pained grunt. "Now could you come do me a solid and help me wrap up this thing before I pass out?"

MacCready couldn't hide his chuckle fast enough, already unbuckling his pack.

* * *

They'd made it to the Fort just before the sun began to set, and the Boss sighed nervously, peering down at the Pip-Boy on his wrist. "Okay, Preston said he'd meet me a few paces south to the main entrance area. Which should be..." he glanced up from the map on his Pip-Boy, squinting in the dwindling light until he caught sight of a decrepit store a few feet ahead of them. "Right there."

MacCready nodded, silent as he watched the guarded way he walked, as if he was expecting everything to go wrong, or at the very least for them to be jumped by mirelurks before even getting to the fort. He sighed at his rigid form, parting his lips. "Boss." He stopped, turning toward MacCready and he could tell even in the faded sunlight how he'd grown paler, his usually confident face utterly diminished to fear. "Remember what we talked about, yeah? Don't go in there expecting to fail, or you will. Gotta get out of your head."

The Boss exhaled a long breath, and while MacCready made note of the color coming back to his cheeks, he still noticed the slight doubtful slouch in his posture. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, MacCready."

MacCready closed his eyes tight, gripping the wooden stock of his gun as he realized he hadn't broken through just yet. "I've got your back, Boss."

"I know," he replied shortly, swallowing thickly. "That helps."

They didn't speak again until they'd found themselves in the shop with a handful of people. "General! Glad you made it, the bulk of our forces started moving in an hour ago." This man who MacCready could only guess was Preston if the Boss's rather detailed description of the guy was anything to go by beamed at the Boss like he was a Messiah becoming. Then he caught sight of MacCready, and his smile faltered. "Who's this with you?"

The Boss shook from his reverie, regarding MacCready like he nearly forgot he was even standing there. The Boss was too far in his head again, MacCready would have to find a way to get him out of that habit. "Oh, right. Preston, this is MacCready. I picked him up in Goodneighbor, he'll be helping me out for a while." He looked back at MacCready, nodding his head slightly toward Preston. "MacCready, this is Preston, my second-in-command."

Preston lit up at the acknowledgement, eyes glued like huge saucers on the Boss. Absently, MacCready wondered if this astonishment was really only to do with mutual respect, or if there was actually something else going on between the two. And if not, a desire for something else to be going on. 

Who cared about that anyway, right? Mac was here to make some money.

"MacCready?" The Boss's voice shook him from his thoughts, sounding as if he'd been trying to catch his attention for a while. 

"Hmm?"

The Boss narrowed his eyes in light concern as he regarded MacCready, but he blinked it away. "I was asking you if you'd be more comfortable charging in headstrong or taking out enemies from above?" He nodded toward the sniper rifle in MacCready's hands. "You're pretty handy with that thing."

MacCready didn't make it a point to hide the cocky smirk from his lips at the acknowledgment, but nodded professionally anyway. "You got enough ground troops to cover your ass?"

"Plenty. I'm more worried about you, there's only one more sniper specialist in the group." The concern grew clearer in his eyes.

MacCready peered up at the stone battlements surrounding the main area of battle, taking note of any potential dangers that could overwhelm them. Other than a few Mirelurk nests with barely stable eggs, he couldn't really perceive any real threat to his life. Especially since Mirelurks were absolute trash climbers.

He looked back at the Boss, shaking his head confidently. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Just take care of your own, yeah?"

The Boss peered blankly at MacCready before nodding, turning his attention back to Preston. "Okay. You, you're the other sniper?" A woman perked up at the Boss, nodding. "Alright. You head out with MacCready and flank to the other side of the fort. There's less opposition on that side and we had someone bring a ladder so you can get up high." He looked over to a man slouching on the wall, arms crossed and pointed toward him. "And I need you to go with them. There's a few mirelurk nests they'll need help clearing out to keep them from being a distraction." The man only nodded, standing from the wall and pulling his combat shotgun from its holster. The Boss grunted in affirmation, looking back at MacCready. "Okay, you've got clearance to go. Once you clear out all the nests up there, send a signal up and we'll know it's time to start the charge."

"How am I supposed to send the signal?"

"Oh, here." Preston piped up, digging in his duster pocket and pulling out a flare gun, handing it to MacCready. "Use this."

"Okay how the hell do you have so many of those?" The Boss broke through, looking genuinely shocked.

Preston smirked, shrugging. "There's always one showing up when you're not looking for it."

"That was, until you took them all," the Boss said with a lighthearted tug at his lips. He regarded MacCready again, sighing. "Try not to die, okay?"

MacCready snorted, but nodded. "Yes, sir."

And then, after briefly restocking with leftover supplies on the counter, he made his way toward the side of the fort, the other two in tow.

* * *

"I've never seen these things up close," the man said, a slight look of disgust on his face as he bashed a dud egg with the butt of his gun. MacCready rolled his eyes, trying to drown out the complaints as he focused on the General, who'd just emerged from the shop and was taking position just outside the main entrance.

"Really? We have plenty of Mirelurk nests where I'm from," the woman sniper retorted, kicking at a piece of cracked shell that had landed on her foot.

"Where are you from?" The man inquired, jumping slightly as a Mirelurk baby emerged from one of the eggs, swiftly killing it with a smash of his gun.

"A port off the sea, a little north of here."

"Well, that explains it." The man snorted. "Why don't you switch me spots then? I'd gladly shoot the things far away from any real danger."

The woman chuckled heartily. "Is someone scared of little Mirelurk babies now? They're no bigger than Radroaches."

"And yet, as it stands, Radroaches are freakishly large."

"Hey," MacCready groaned, glaring at the two as he smashed another egg with his own gun. "Less talking, more smashing."

"Oh, sure. Sorry, sir," the woman replied immediately, moving to stand next to him as she assisted in obliterating Mirelurk egg goo. 

"As if the General wasn't bossy enough," the man muttered under his breath but still, he walked off somewhere behind the two, working on a fresh patch of eggs. "Hey," he'd called toward them after a few bouts of relative silence-besides the smashing of eggs and occasional grunts as they worked to smash scurrying babies. "Are nests supposed to be so-hard?"

"Hard?" MacCready furrowed his brows, sharing a confused glance with the woman before looking over his shoulder at the man. "What're you-"

Before he was allowed to finish, a Mirelurk suddenly burst from the ground. Catching the man off guard, it easily overtook him, shoving a claw straight through his abdomen. The woman gasped, and MacCready swore, digging his flare gun from his pocket and tossing it toward the woman. "Shoot it off, looks like we're starting a little earlier than expected."

The woman fumbled with the gun, but was eventually able to get a stable hold on the thing as MacCready worked on getting shots into the center of the Mirelurk's face. 

The woman lifted the flare gun into the air, shooting it off. A sharp whistle came from the barrel as the sparks flew, and the woman dropped the gun to the floor, picking up her rifle and helping MacCready take down the Mirelurk. But of course, the whistle stirred more movement and before they knew it, three more Mirelurks burst out the ground and scurried toward them. 

"For fuck's sake," MacCready mumbled under his breath, aiming true and with the woman, began shooting them down, momentarily breaking to run further across the battlements from the creatures and to stomp the life out of the babies nipping at their ankles. 

Distantly, he heard gunfire and shouts echo from below, and saw nothing but red laser blasts and sparks from assault rifles as Boss's squadron piled in. 

MacCready fixed his jaw, shooting down the last of the Mirelurks up top and immediately turned his attention to the ground troops while the woman worked on clearing out the remainder of the Mirelurk babies. When she was finished, she ran toward their fallen comrade, dragging his limp body away from harm and dropping him between MacCready and her. She quickly leaned on a knee, helping take down the ground Mirelurks laser blasts weren't taking down. 

By what seemed to be the end of the fight, there were no significant injuries on either side besides the one, and MacCready grabbed the man and hurried down to the ground area, racing toward Boss. The woman followed closely behind him.

The Boss beamed when he saw MacCready still standing, but his face instantly turned grave when he saw the body draped over his shoulder. He sighed sadly, nodding toward the beds inside the Fort. "Set him in there, we'll make sure he gets patched up as much as he can before we send him back to his family."

MacCready gave him a curt nod, turning and walking toward the bed. As soon as MacCready had set his body on the bed, he heard rapid fire and a torrent of screams from men and women outside. 

"MacCready! We need you out here, now!"

 _What the fuck is it now?_ MacCready thought, snatching his rifle and racing back out onto the field. 

What he saw almost made him shit his pants. 

Crawling almost in slow-motion out of the lake surrounding the fort was the biggest fucking Mirelurk MacCready had ever seen, and before he could even blink it was already out of the water, towering well over the peak height of the battlements as it barreled toward them. It let out the most ear-piercing screech, watching as what looked to be poison or acid spew from it's mouth. It landed on top of one of the ground soldiers by the battlements, and the gut-wrenching screaming from her as she writhed on the ground, the smell of burning flesh as the others were forced to only watch as she was cooked alive, made it clear that it was definitely acid. 

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," MacCready whispered breathlessly, feebly lifting his rifle as all that faith talk he'd given before seemed to flee straight out of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you were wondering, that "rectangular object with a single button on the front," was a smartphone. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok yeah, as I said last chapter this one is going to be much more violent. There'll be graphic depictions of violence, gruesome wound description and other gag triggers. 
> 
> There'll be tons of fluff and injury recovery incoming in the next chapter for the dorks because I feel bad for just slamming all that nastiness on you.  
> I'm probably pretty trash at writing action scenes, but we'll see how this goes.  
> <3

When Axel Reed Jensen was eight years old, he lost the tip of a toe to a crab's pinchers on a family vacation.

It was innocent enough, a family vacation to some California beaches, running after one of his older cousins when suddenly he'd felt a sudden sharp pain in his foot, then complete nothing where his foot was supposed to be. He probably would've kept running and playing had it not been for his cousin screaming bloody murder, gesturing wildly down to his foot and then he looked down to see the blood literally pooling at his feet and being swept into the water creeping over the shore. 

He didn't remember much about that day past his mother scooping him up into her arms and his father shooing the still pissed crab away with a stick, but the scar on his left foot was a permanent reminder that crabs really weren't something to fuck with. 

And now, here he was, with a squadron of 10 or less people and a merc-some injured, all tired, staring down the mother of all pissed off crabs.

Did he mention the part about it spewing acid?

No?

Well, it spewed acid. 

"Boss, what do we do?" Axel didn't respond right away, gaping at the beast as it screeched as bullets were wasted into its chest area, swatting a large- _large_ claw that definitely would pinch off more than just a toe, taking one of the squadron with it and leaving them with 9. **"Boss,"** he jolted back to awareness to a hard shove against his arm, and he blinked wildly as he turned to see MacCready, eyes just as wide and terrified as his boring into him. "We need a plan here, Boss. Fast.''

"Um, uh, I-" Axel gulped, gaping at the thing as it came even closer to where the two were standing. It'd already taken out two of their people, three more in the way of another deadly claw swipe. He needed to act fast, or not only would he and Mac be piles of ash within seconds, but everything he, Preston, and every Minutemen had believed in would be gone in the blink of an eye. He quickly scanned the area, looking for possible vantage points where they could get to quickly without being in danger of getting too close. His eyes fell on two possible areas-inside the fort itself and back up on the battlements, if they could get up quickly enough to get some well-placed shots in through the armored shell around the thing. 

Inside the fort would be a good choice for those with close-ranged weapons, and those that were injured. The thing of course would still be able to take down their stone walls around them, but if the ones on top could distract the thing long enough, the close rangers could lay into it enough that that might not be an issue. The only question there is, who would he be sending inside, and who would he be sending to fight?

"MacCready," Axel commanded, staring him straight in the eye. "Tell me honestly, do you think you're up to bringing the fight to you?"

MacCready sputtered. "The fight is already _here,_ Boss. It's _literally right there._ I wouldn't have much of a choice either way."

Axel probably would've offered MacCready's smartass comments a smirk if his life weren't on the line. But, it was. He stared holes into his head. "I mean it, MacCready. You, me, Preston. On top of the battlements. Fighting the thing face-to-face. Think you're up to it?"

There was still fear-etched into the worry lines in his forehead, the crow's feet around his eyes, buried deep into those dark blue eyes of his. But, in despite of all of it, MacCready nodded. "I'm with you, Boss."

Axel could've hugged him. Hell, he probably would-once this is over, if they survived it all, that is. There was absolutely no time for that now, however. "Good. Get up there while you still can, I need to find Preston." He trusted MacCready well enough to follow orders, turning and sprinting closer to the field of battle. His stomach churned dizzyingly with every shriek, every groan from the men and women dying for him-for the cause. He knew, deep down, that he would be responsible for every one of these people's deaths, and if he really wasn't, he would be in the families of those that had fallen's eyes. And he'd accept that, because they for damned sure wouldn't have met such untimely deaths plowing fields and picking Tatos off the vine. 

But he was getting too far in his head. MacCready told him not to do that. 

He found Preston. 

"Preston!" He screamed, and Preston tore his gaze away from the beast, snapping his head over his shoulder to him. "Preston, I need you to get up on the battlements. MacCready is there already. MacCready, you, and I, we're going to be the driving force on this thing."

Preston nodded determinedly the second the words were out of Axel's mouth, and a sense of overwhelming pride and respect for the man washed over him in waves. Next to the crippling anxiety about their impending doom, of course. "What about everyone else?"

"Don't worry about them. I'll deal with it. Just get up there, find MacCready and let that thing have it. I'll be right behind you."

If Preston hesitated at all, it would be because of the uncertainty in that final bit. The unsaid, "if I don't make it there, do what you can," ringing clear through both of their ears. But Preston was a good man, a determined man, and above all else, a fighter. And a damned good one, too. And so, when he stepped away from Axel, he didn't see him on the ground again as he turned to ring everyone still alive back into the safety of the walls. 

* * *

He'd watched as he'd given Preston the lowdown, saw Preston running up toward where MacCready was standing now. He'd seen the Boss dive toward the injured men and women still laying into the thing. But then there was a loud shriek as the last of those still alive disappeared into the fort, one that shook the very battlements themselves and dust and debris from its walls stirred viciously through the air. By the time enough dust had cleared from the air and MacCready could open his eyes without it clouding his vision, he couldn't see the Boss anywhere.

It was like he'd completely vanished. 

He didn't look toward the thing as Preston scrambled up the loose rock to stand next to him. He didn't want to take the chance and see the Boss sprawled out on the ground, gaping hole in his chest, intestines spewed about every place his limp body might've ricocheted off of before he slammed into solid ground. 

"MacCready!" Preston shouted his arrival, face barely containing fear and raw adrenaline from the battle-lust. "I'm assuming the General told you what he wanted us to do."

MacCready let out a breath, shaky as adrenaline was the last thing his body was running on and nodded. "Yeah. Distraction. Make the shots count. Did you-can you see the Boss anywhere?"

Preston's expression faltered slightly, letting the panic turn the pallor of his skin lighter as he spotted the bare battle ground beneath you. His eyes flicked back up toward the monster, lifting his laser musket up and squaring it on his shoulders. "No, I don't. But we gotta do this, even if he's-" neither man wanted to be the one to finish that thought, "if he's not here right now."

"Yeah," MacCready retorted, voice thick with emotion but he knew his role. He knew what he had to do, what he had promised he was ready for. Now was certainly not the time for regret, or for second-thinking. He pulled his own rifle up, aiming as best he could toward the face of the thing. "Yeah, let's do this then."

They aimed true, rifles vibrating on their shoulders, and let their shots free at the same time.

* * *

Axel blinked his eyes open blearily, coughing up the dirt clinging to his lungs and prodded at the deep gash across his head where a piece of rubble had broken free of the walls, striking him in the side of the head and knocking him unconscious. He quickly took stock of his surroundings, surprised when he didn't see a pissed off Mirelurk queen towering over him and instead saw tens of men and women standing around him, some shooting wildly at the thing as it approached, two different pairs of hands clutching his jacket and dragging him toward the safety of the inner walls. 

It's then that he remembered that's not where he was supposed to be going, and he slightly struggled in their grip. "General! Thank God you're alive," a woman's voice-the one that he'd sent with MacCready at the start of all this, echoed above them. The other person, a man, sighed in relief and they both released their grip on him. One of the soldiers creating a human barricade around him turned slightly, and his rifle was being pressed into his hands before he even realized it. 

"We saw you fall. We weren't leaving you out here to die, even if you were dead already. Some of us, the ones with the worst of the injuries, are already back in the walls. But the rest of us ran out to get you."

The loyalty and the dedication of these people was enough to make the most stoic of men cry, and Axel himself felt the tears sting at the corner of his eyes.

The loss of any of his men and women was, of course, a tragedy. But they knew what they had signed up for. They knew the risks. That didn't stop them. They knew exactly what, and who they were fighting for, and both were enough to throw all their faith in for. These are the kinds of people Axel would throw his life away for, and he wouldn't hesitate doing it.

"Thank you," was all he had time to say before he stood, ignoring the pounding protest in his head. "Quick, all of you get inside. We'll keep them distracted for you, so just keep shooting."

"Yes, Sir," one of them had said. "Be careful, Sir."

He ran out into the open, rounding the corner and climbing up the loose rubble pile leading to the battlements.

* * *

"General!" Preston's voice was thick with contagious relief that washed MacCready's entire body in it, but he didn't take his eyes off his shots as he heard a third pair of feet scuffle to stand next to him. 

"What's the situation, where are we at with this?" Boss's voice rang out, steady and determined despite everything.

"We've gotten a few good hits in, I think Preston might've hit it blind in an eye. Still coming, but it's slowing down." MacCready's eyes flitted absently toward the sound of assault rifles and grenades sounding below them. "Your men inside the fort have been plowing into it too. No big injuries I know of yet, and we're steadily taking the thing down. Don't have much wood to knock on, but it's going pretty great so far."

MacCready saw the boss nod shortly from the side of his eye, lifting his own rifle up and spraying bullets into it. While the shrieks it made each time a bullet hit its mark at one time was nearly incapacitating; maybe it was the adrenaline rushing though their ears, the fact that the thing was indeed getting weaker, or maybe they all had gone partially deaf, but it was nowhere near as loud as it was before. "Okay," the Boss muttered as they'd all repositioned themselves further away from the beast and laid shot after shot into their intended marks. The thing seemed as if it were shrinking every two well-shot marks, growing slower and weaker each time. "Okay, I think it's okay to get closer now."

"Boss, there's still the whole acid shooting thing to worry about," MacCready retorted, sarcasm layered thickly over his tone as he let another shot crack his rifle.

"I haven't seen it drop any acid since you shot through it's saliva glands, MacCready," the boss replied curtly, shaking his head. "I'm telling you, a good shot or two left, and we should be ready for the finishing blow." 

"What's the-" the Boss was already pulling up a missile launcher from the ground beside him before MacCready even had time to finish the inquiry. MacCready gaped at the sight of the thing being loaded, then hoisted over his shoulder. It was so comically larger than the Boss that they'd probably need two and a half Bosses stacked on top of each other to match the length of the thing. "You're joking." 

Now that Axel had a few more seconds to breathe, he had a few more seconds to squeeze in a small smirk, too. "What can I say, MacCready? I'm a very dramatic man."

"A dramatic man with a death wish. Look at the size of that thing! The recoil itself would send you flying over the walls before the blast from the explosion could even get to you!"

The boss rolled his eyes as Preston shot our another bright laser behind them. "I _have_ shot a missile launcher before, MacCready. They had ones twice as big as this in the army." 

That had MacCready's brows flying up, doubly so when Boss's face contorted as he'd realized his mistake. He felt cold rush through his body as he thought about the only gangs out here that could still be classified as armies.

Immediately, he ruled out the Gunners. If he was some secret Gunner spy, he wouldn't have attacked Winlock and Barnes back at the Third Rail, and he especially wouldn't be giving up his life for a couple of starving down-and-outs working for the Minutemen-another group the Gunners despised. 

That left only two other options, and neither of those options were good. 

Either he was in the Brotherhood of Steel, the lesser of two evils-but that didn't make them less evil. When MacCready was a kid and the Lone Wanderer was doing her thing saving the world, she'd come back with the damned Tunnel Snake fool and visited him at Little Big Town a few years after the purifier was activated and told him lots about what had gone down-much to his fervent insistence. The president of the Enclave, John Henry Eden, tried convincing Lone to contaminate the purifier with an FEV virus-effectively wiping out every race in the wasteland that wasn't pure, unirratiated human. Lone of course refused and was the subsequent cause to the destruction of the Enclave Chapter in the Capital Wasteland, but it held a striking similarity to the Brotherhood of Steel Chapter in the Commonwealth. See, the Brotherhood back home were nice enough at the start, helping Lone in saving the people of the Capital Wasteland from oppression and forced compliance and whatnot, but they all have similar goals. Divide and conquer, make it seem like you're doing it all for the civilian's safety and well-being only-and then when everything is fixed, completely take over the entire region itself. Doing exactly what they'd spent all that time and effort claiming to prevent.

He'd seen it done in the Capital Wasteland, and he's seeing it be done here, too. Not to mention, this chapter seems to be just like the Enclave in terms of being overtly hateful towards Synths, Ghouls, and all other irradiated mutants or nonmutants alike. They weren't good people, nor are their intentions slightly commendable. 

And the last military he could belong to was the Institute, and MacCready didn't even have to think about how that was bad. 

"The army? What arm-"

"Look, MacCready, there isn't any time for this. Giant, mutant, acid spewing crab trying to kill us all-remember?" His eyes flashed hard over MacCready's incredulous expression, and he sighed. "Look, we do this, and I'll explain, okay? Everything. I promise." 

Tendrils of anxiety flew through him as Boss acknowledged there was in fact _something_ he needed to explain. So much for not hiding behind something. He clenched his jaw against the familiar sting of betrayal, but allowed the Boss to order him around. Just until they were safe, and then he'd demand answers. 

"Preston, I need you to find your way back into the fort, take stock of our people and watch our backs. MacCready and I are going to finish it off." 

Preston visibily hesitated now as he stepped a foot froward toward them. "You don't want me to come with you?" 

The Boss shook his head. "No, it's almost dead as it is. One good shot in, and we can drive it home with this guy. We don't need three people for that." 

Preston didn't move, eyes betraying him as they flashed raw hurt and reluctance. "But what if something goes wrong? You'll need backup-"

"Preston." The Boss's voice was tired, harsh, and cold as he took on a commandeering tone. "I need you to check on our people. Keep them safe. That's an order."

Preston took a sharp, shaky breath in as his eyes trailed from Boss to MacCready, and MacCready didn't miss the jealous glint in his eyes mixed with the sad compliance. "Be careful," he'd said to MacCready but MacCready for sure caught on that that was meant much more as a warning for him than a comfort. 

He swallowed thickly, nodding. 

And with that, Preston squeezed his musket to his chest, sliding down the gravel towards the closest entrance to the inner forts.

"Alright, MacCready. On me, and stay close till I tell you to take the last shot. Then take it and duck away from the recoil blast area, alright?" His green eyes, almost pleading, glared at MacCready.

MacCready paused. "So what are you going to do when that thing goes off?'' Silence was his immediate answer, and his face twitched. "Boss."

"Like I said, I've shot these things before. I'll be fine.''

MacCready had a hard time fully believing that, but also had a harder time of acknowledging the alternative, so he only gave a curt nod as they barrelled towards the the thing. It was almost too dead it barely even noticed their advance besides a small shriek and a pathetic claw swipe that didn't even meet the side of the battlements. When they were close enough MacCready was sure he could get the last shot in, he stopped moving. "Boss?''

Axel looked over his shoulder, giving him a curt nod. "Go ahead, MacCready."

And so he stilled, aiming the gun over his shoulder, taking a deep breath, and shot. The thing howled viciously as MacCready had hit the thing right between the eyes, but MacCready was far too busy taking in his victory to remember the last part of the plan-getting the fuck out of there. 

He'd have to learn the hard way. 

The thing thrashed violently, the last instincts of survival and fight left in its body as it brought up it's claw, slamming it down on the battlements below MacCready. Before MacCready could even react, a large chunk of cement that gave way flew right up to where MacCready was standing, and crushed into his knee. 

MacCready screamed against the pain, dropping to the ground as his leg gave out and his knee burned like fire. MacCready knew for certain it was broken, he didn't have to look to know the bone was sticking out of his pants. But he did anyway, and it made bile rise from his throat and spew out on the concrete next to him. 

When things go wrong, they happen in an unrelenting pattern. 

The Beast must have somehow knew MacCready was down, that there was no way he'd be able to get out of the way in time, so it did what it could to keep him down. 

It spat the last bit of acid toward his body. 

MacCready writhed, his jutted knee bone all but completely forgotten as the acid hit him square in the left side, first burning holes straight through his duster and then enveloping his entire arm and chest in liquid fire. He screamed out against the pain, the smell of his own burning flesh enough to almost make him pass out as he tried desperately to wiggle out of the duster spreading acid over his body. 

"MacCready! Shit, shit-" he distantly heard the Boss's voice from somewhere behind him, but he couldn't focus on that now. He could feel as the acid burned straight through his skin. 

He felt, but also barely reacted as the large piece of rubble was rolled backwards off the bone of his knee, pitiful yelps and tears welling in his eyes the only reaction he could muster before pitifully slapping at his duster again.

He felt a second pair of hands slapping away the duster now, and when he looked up blearily, the Boss's green, frantic eyes were all he could see. MacCready wanted to tell him to forget about him, to worry about the big monster thing threatening to kill them all. But he knew if he did, he'd most certainly die on his own. 

Robert Joseph MacCready did not want to die. 

"MacCready-Mac, I gotta get this duster off you. It's coated in the stuff." 

MacCready could only hum and nod in response, trying his best to help him by sitting up weakly. He'd managed only a few centimeters when he heard the Boss groan.

"MacCready it's-there's a part of it melted into your back.''

Well. Shit. 

MacCready could already feel the tears stinging his eyes as he sighed, tearing off a piece of his jacket that wasn't contaminated, bundling it up and biting down on it. "Get it off,'' he'd said through the cloth, giving his Boss a knowing glance before closing his eyes. A tear rolled down his cheek as they closed. He tried focusing on that feeling. 

"O-okay. Three," he wiggled the cloth away from his arms, and pushed him over on his side, "two," he felt pressure on the collar of his jacket as two hands came to rest on it, "I'm so sorry, Mac. One."

His howls of pain were barely muffled by the cloth as he felt the duster rip away from his skin. It felt like someone was ripping him apart, the sickening tearing sound as the cloth was ripped free of his left shoulder blade enough to make black encroach around his vision. 

"Okay, okay it's off MacCready," he numbly heard the Boss say, sliding his ruined flannel off his shoulders. "It's over." 

MacCready couldn't remember much after that. He'd remembered hearing a high-pitched scream, felt the floor beneath him rumble, then heard the Boss say something before he felt him stand behind him and run off. His vision was getting more black by the second, so he couldn't turn his head to see what was going on if he wanted to. He heard a high pitched whistle and a loud boom, and then the black overtook him.

* * *

Axel had just finished tearing the melted cloth from MacCready's back, tears stuck in his waterline at MacCready's screams of pain and gut-wrenching whimpers and was trying to figure out what to do about that knee before he heard the tell-tale screech of the mirelurk beside him. 

He looked toward the noise and realized with a sickening dread that the thing was heaving it's way toward the rest of the group, and that that swing it'd took on the battlements crumbled an entire side of the wall-just enough it could fit through. 

"Fuck, fuck fuck," Axel mumbled in panic, squeezing MacCready's shoulders. The sickly pale of his skin and the unfocused haze over his eyes worried him to no end, but he had to move or there'd be more than just MacCready's life on the line. "I'll come back for you, MacCready. I promise. I'll be right back."

MacCready didn't respond and Axel didn't expect him to. He scrambled up on his knees, grabbing MacCready's discarded rifle in one hand and sprinting far enough away from MacCready's body-where he had carelessly dropped the missile launcher when he'd heard MacCready scream. 

He wasn't a very good sniper. They'd tried teaching him how to be one in the army since he was a pretty good aim with everything else, but something about being immensely far away from your target never sat with him. He tried remembering the mantra they'd teach religiously in his head. 

Step 1: Lift the rifle up over your shoulder.

Check.

Step 2: Square your feet firmly on the ground, apart but not so far it looks like you're trying to do the splits. Keep your back straight. 

Check. 

Step 3: Take aim. Remember the critical spots. 

He aimed toward the face of the thing now. Check. 

Step 4: Take a deep breath, ghost your finger over the trigger, and lightly squeeze it on the exhale.

Axel took a deep breath, closing one eye as he honed in on his target, then cracked the rifle on the exhale. 

The resounding roar as the bullet made contact with it's head would've made Axel rejoice if it weren't for the situation. Now, he could only discard of MacCready's rifle and scramble for the missile launcher before the thing could lay him out flat. 

The thing changed it's trajectory, scurrying toward Axel as he leaned down on a knee, throwing the heavy metal over his shoulder. 

"Looks like we're having crab for dinner tonight," he said dramatically before letting the missile free of it's target. 

It hit home, blasting a red hot cloud in the thing's face. It gave one last deadly shriek, then fell, the entire earth shaking in its absence.

And Axel?

He'd stupidly stayed too close to the blast. 

He felt as the launcher slipped from his grasp, then as if he was flying before reality hit him hard in the form of his body smacking like a ragdoll against the cold, hard earth outside. 

He didn't even have time to feel it.

Everything was black.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to avoid any confusion, the sections written in italics are "fever" dreams, a break from reality kind of thing.  
> Here's where the introspection tag really fits in. I promised fluff, and that's exactly what I'll be giving you all. A big ol' heap of it in one. ♥️  
> There's going to be a bit of angst in this chapter, implied sickness and mentions of not-really-but-still death as well, because I can't pick one emotion and go with it. It happens when the story switches to MacCready's pov, if any of you want to avoid that.  
> The fluff ensues tenfold shortly after that though.

The first thing to came back to him upon waking up was pain. He barely processed the stimpak stabbing into his stomach over the immense, burning feeling surrounding the entire right side of his body. He would've looked to asses the damage if he could, but he couldn't even roll his head to the side to start with. Not that it would matter, most of the world was blurry and the parts that weren't made him nauseous to focus on. 

"Oh thank God, you're alive." He blinked toward the sound, the only thing he could make out was a silhouette of a male figure standing over him. He felt like he should recognize the voice, but he was still riding the stimpak high and couldn't tell night from day the way he was. "We're going to lift you up now. It's probably going to hurt like a motherfucker, but try and stay awake for us, okay?" 

"Mmmmmhm," he mumbled out like he was drunk, which if it weren't for the fire in his arm, he certainly would've believed he was. The fire itself began to numb away, giving way to feeling as if he were riding the clouds.

That is, until hands squeezed around his front and pulled him up to standing. 

The pain was absolutely blinding. The screams coming from him didn't even sound like him as they righted him, two sets of bodies scrunching up on his sides and pushing him to move forward. They didn't say anything, but another prick was jabbed into his arm and he most definitely felt like he was flying now, except this time he felt incredibly groggy while doing it. Med-X, an acknowledgement he was surprised he could think of in his drugged state. He didn't especially like the way it made him feel, but when push comes to shove. They were only trying to help. 

While he felt sluggish, memories began sinking back into his brain. He'd remembered the fight, telling Preston to get to shelter, and MacCready to-to- _MacCready._

As much as he could in his state, he rolled his head side-to-side looking for any tell-tale sign of his partner in the mess of people. His heartbeat quickened, breaths coming in short gasps as he wasn't catching sight of him anywhere. "MacCready,'' his voice came out barely above a whisper, a slight whine to his tone. 

One of the people on his left stopped moving. "Oh shit, the merc." 

"When the battlements fell, I didn't see him any-" 

"Whaa?" Axel spurred, trying to focus on his surroundings to see that _yes,_ the section of battlement he was standing on had crumbled to the floor. It was a miracle upon miracles none of it had fallen on him. But, what about MacCready? 

The people supporting him kept moving, and Axel protested profusely. "Noo, Ma-Mac-Cready," he mumbled, trying to fight out of their grasp but the exhaustion brought on by the drugs was weighing on him hard. 

"General." The firm, stern tone one of them used reminded him a lot of his mother and he felt like he could cry. "We're going to get you to a bed and then we'll look for your friend. But you need immediate medical attention." 

So does MacCready, he wanted to say. He needs it too, probably more than me. Sure, he may be different in your eyes, may mean _less_ in your eyes, but to Axel? MacCready wasn't-he meant-

That's the big question, isn't it?

Okay, cycle that question out for later when his head wasn't fogging over from the drugs. MacCready still needed help. No matter who the General was to them, no man is more important than another. And if these people weren't willing to help him, he'd do it himself. 

He tried kicking out, a numb protest in his leg was all he got in response. He tried to squirm for their grasp, a reminder of his obviously shattered arm and ribs brought on with heat. 

Fuck, this was going to take a while.

Eventually, his body gave up on him only seconds before the rest of him, exhausting him so much he was barely able to stand. He felt his body being gently placed in a bed, heard muttered voices over him and something being pressed over his face. He still fought the overwhelming urge to close his eyes, not until he knew MacCready was alright.

It wasn't until he heard a commotion outside, and when he saw someone-already unconscious-with a painted postman hat and a completely trashed duster bundled up in one of the Minutemen's hands being draped over the bed next to him that he let himself sink into blissful unconsciousness.

* * *

_'You're doing it again.'_

_He sat back on the cushion, staring at her with half-lidded eyes, a smirk playing on his lips as he peered at her over his bottle of bourbon. 'I don't know what you mean.'_

_'Axel babe, I've known you for eight years now. I know all your tells.' She smiled, her bright, honey golden eyes glinting so previously in the sun he felt his heart clench. 'I love you too, baby. More than you will ever know.'_

_She stood up slowly, sauntering over to where he was sitting on the couch, dragging her index finger across his shoukr teasingly slow as she moved to stand behind him, hands rubbing smooth patterns on his shoulders, his chest, torso down. 'Love is-a complicated thing. You know the essence of it, what people say it's supposed to feel like, smell like, taste like," her voice hummed lowly in his ears. 'But rarely do those expectations met reality when you get the chance to experience it yourself. It's-less than what they say. But in a way, that makes it mean more. To get exactly what you want-what you've expected all your life, that's maddening. But to get what you **need-"**_

_Axel paused. Something about this memory felt, wrong. This isn't how this was supposed to go...'What's goings on? What do you mean?'_

_'You love me, Axel. I know that. You loved me with everything you knew.' Her chin stopped lower to rest on the top of his head. 'But our love was love only to match those expectations. We got married because we were the closest things to the perfect image in our heads. We had a baby together because it was-convenient. We loved each other so much, Love, but the way we loved each other wasn't really what either of us needed, deep down.'_

_'You were everything I was, Nora,' he was beginning to panic now as the reality of the situation began to break through, as he felt himself fading from the dream. 'I loved you more than anything.'_

_'I loved you too, Axel. But we loved each other because we were told to love each other, and we loved each other in the way they told us to.' She slithered her ring and index finger under his chin, coaxing it to face her now as her lips, as warm and soft as he remembered-the taste of sugar bombs and cherry flavored Nuka Cola leaving their permanent mark on them, met his. She pulled away, golden eyes glaring straight through his own-an expression of somberness, acceptance layered in the golden specks reflecting off the middle. 'Our love was what we wanted, not what we needed.'_

_He watched, horrified as she began to fade away from him, as he felt like he was being forcibly pulled away from the memory. 'Wait, Nora, please! Please don't go, I **want-'** he paused then, entire body freezing as realization set in. He gasped in short breaths, eyes widening as he looked at the slightly blurred figure that used to be his wife, shaking his head defiantly. "N-no, that's not what I...I."_

_She only smiled back at him, a smile so ordinary but yet one that could tell him a million things without those lips even needing to part._

_'It's okay, Axel._

_'I like him, too.'_

* * *

His eyes snapped open as if he'd been through the most horrific of nightmares, wide as saucers as they desperately tried getting a grasp of his surroundings. He knew absently where he was, his memories tend to catch up to him pretty quickly, but the fact that he couldn't see anything past silhouettes and scattered blurs was unsettling. 

"Axel! Good to see you're awake!" 

He turned his head toward the noise, blinking long and hard until he could just barely make out the figure of Preston standing next to the bed he was laying on, encroaching worry lines erasing steadily as a relieved smile formed on his face. 

Axel blinked languidly again, senses all seeming to come back in turn as he realized he still hadn't taken stock of his own injuries. He looked down at his arm. It was folded neatly over his chest, wrapped up in heavy bandage and bent into a sling hanging from his neck. He was shirtless as well, the skin above the rib bones on his right side an angry collage of reds, blacks and blues. 

"You had a pretty bad break in your arm, thing was just about hanging off your elbow when we found you. Couple rib fractures, a few bruises and scratches here and there." He looked up to see Preston looking down at him, an unreadable expression on your face. He shrugged. "Could've been worse-you did get flung completely off the battlements and smacked straight into the dirt outside. Doc says you probably curled up and protected your head, so your survival instincts must still be in tact after all those years." 

He blinked again, this time only because he wasn't entirely sure what to say. He was still having a bit of a hard time discerning reality from the dream etched in his mind, but he at least knew enough to know it wasn't real. He swallowed thickly, parting his lips. "And what about MacCready?" 

Preston's eyes turned a darker shade of grey, as much as he tried to hide it from him. He took a worrying amount of time to answer, and what he had in reply wasn't the least bit reassuring. "They're working on him now. Those burns, the medics haven't ever seen that form of acid before. It doesn't just scar the surface of the skin, it burns nerves, tendons, melts straight through bone. Biggest kicker is, it could seem like it's cleaned off you, but the particles spread so thin when they make contact with skin that tiny little bits could still be hidden anywhere. They're confident they cleaned him in time, but they had to make sure."

The uncertainty of MacCready's condition was a constant concern, of course. It made Axel's stomach churn painfully, it made him hate himself, it terrified him more than it would if Preston would've said he'd died. At least then, he'd have a definitive answer, something he knew how to deal with, something to have that he could control. 

But they just didn't know. 

He knew; despite everything telling him to burst-be angry that he couldn't do more, sad that he'd made the order-that it'd do no good for anyone to do so. Not for himself, not for the people outside depending on his strength and his guidance, not for the doctors doing everything they can to keep everyone alive, and most of all, not for MacCready. 

"You've been out for a few days. I hope you don't mind, but I've started making some calls around here, trying to get things set in order so you didn't have to worry about that on top of everything else." 

The way Preston sounded so unsure of himself, the way he couldn't even meet his eyes-made his heart pang in sympathy. He tapped the side of the bed, getting Preston's attention before he smiled encouragingly. "Care to show me?" 

His eyes lit up, his relieved smile contagious enough it made Axel chuckle slightly. Despite the small aching, pulling sensation in his ribs when Preston helped him stand off the bed, he felt nothing but pride and warmth spread in his chest as Preston showed him around the newly settled Minuteman HQ.

* * *

MacCready woke a week later. 

Unlike Axel, his dreams weren't coherent. They weren't peaceful among all the doubt and uncertainty. 

They were horrifying. Scattered. Visions of Ferals ripping into Lucy, her screams piercing his every fiber of being as he ran like a coward away from it all. 

He should have stayed. Lucy was supposed to be everything, was supposed to be the best thing that ever happened to him. But he made a decision, and maybe some people would call it "the right thing to do," something "humble and the best thing to do in his situation." But MacCready? He'd call it cowardice. He'd never get the chance to know if he could've saved Lucy, no matter what he might think in passing moments of unwarranted acceptance that he'd push back before it could come to true fruition. 

It didn't matter whether he could or couldn't have saved her. 

He didn't even try. 

When he didn't dream of Lucy, he dreamt of Duncan. 

_He thrashed wildly in the bed, skin paler than MacCready ever thought possible-fits of coughing so severe he'd stop breathing in the midst and Lone and Butch would have to breathe into his mouth for him._

_They didn't give a damn whether or not Duncan's disease was contagious._

_They acted._

_They were ten times the parents MacCready ever could be._

_'Why aren't you here?'_

_He startled, eyes snapping to Duncan's-bloodshot and wide, whites of his eyes even more blinding against the stark white of his skin. A greenish-brown liquid dripped from the corner of his mouth-a mixture of blood, puss, mucus and spit._

_Butch wiped it away with a clean cloth shirt as Lone ran a wash cloth in a tin of lightly steaming water, laying him down on the bed and draping it over his forehead. They didn't seem to be able to see him, but Duncan's eyes never left his father's._

_'You left Mommy alone, and she died.' His eyes were black as night, boring straight into him. 'You left Uncle Butch and Aunt Mia alone to help me get better. They cry at night when they think I'm sleeping. They say I'm dying.'_

_MacCready's heartbeat pounded in his eardrums, breath a panicked rhythm as he shook his head fervently. 'No, no you're not dying, Dunc. You're just sick. Daddy's trying-'_

_'You're not my daddy.' MacCready went numb. Duncan's eyes were blank, almost lifeless as they peered into him, unrelenting. 'Daddies would be here to read me bedtime stories, tuck me in, sing to me when I have nightmares. Daddies would make me tea to help when my throat hurts after the bad coughs come. Daddies would do whatever it took to save their babies, but they'd do it without leaving.'_

_The tears were like acid on his cheeks as he tried desperately to get control over his breathing, something he found incredibly hard to do. 'Duncan-'_

_'I'm dying, Daddy. I'm dying and you're not here because you gave up. You won't even be here to let me go.'_

_And then the coughing began, worse than anything MacCready ever remembered, crimson red coating his blue, little lips and spilling out as he desperately tried to breathe. The little breaths he did take sounded wet and hoarse, and MacCready didn't have to know anything about medicine to know that wasn't good._

_His screams were mute, but he knew he was screaming. Any attempts to run toward Duncan were futile, the distance between them only growing each time he tried. In fact, it seemed as if he were flying, being dragged away from him as his writhing silhouette grew smaller, more fragmented but the coughs and gasps for air were still piercing his ears._

_'No, no Duncan! Please hold on for me, don't go. No, no-'_

"No!" 

Axel jumped at the frantic shout from MacCready's bed, green eyes wide as they watched his partner. His eyes were slightly glazed, unfocused as they scanned the room too quickly to really see anything. "MacCready?"

"No," he whimpered frantically, squirming as he tried to sit but was weighed down by the drugs still active in his system. "Gotta go, can't leave him, he needs me-"

Axel slammed the comic book he was reading closed, tossing it off his lap as he leaned forward and grasped tightly onto MacCready's flailing arms. "MacCready-" he squeezed against his wrist even harder as he squirmed in his grasp, "MacCready, it's Axel. You're still dreaming. You're safe here, MacCready. Wake up.''

It took a short while, but eventually MacCready's eyes began to focus, his thrashing subsiding as his breathing eased back into a normal pace. Axel sighed languidly, letting go of his wrists and sitting back in his chair, still keeping a watchful eye on his partner as he slowly came back to full wakefulness. 

"Where?" MacCready croaked out, immediately stopping short with a cough at the desert in his throat. 

Axel pushed himself forward on the seat, dragging his bag over to rest by his feet as he pulled a purified water can from his bag and held it up to MacCready's face. He grabbed it greedily, sucking down the entire can in seconds. Axel chuckled lightly, taking the empty can from his hands and setting it on the table by his bed. 

"You're at the Fort," Axel supplied to his uncompleted question. "You got hurt pretty bad, but our medics patched you up. You've been out for a little over a week now. You woke up in spurts a few times before, but you were so completely out of it you'd fall back unconscious seconds later." 

MacCready's brows furrowed in shock at the amount of time, but didn't comment on it as he was focused on the burn scars scattered on the left side of his torso. "Oh," he finally said, breathless but tone thick with emotion. 

Axel felt his heart drop at his tone. "I'm-so sorry, MacCready. I wasn't thinking about you, I was just so caught up in the moment I didn't even-" he paused as MacCready turned to him, brows furrowed in confusion. Guess he'd have to start from the beginning. "I was the one that dragged you with me. If I'd sent you down with Preston.." he trailed off, his voice cracking and he hung his head in shame. 

"If you'd sent me down with Preston-" MacCready continued, causing Axel to snap his eyes back to MacCready's own. "If you sent me down with Preston, you would 100%, without a doubt, be dead right now. And then everything you've worked for to make this hellhole wasteland a better place would've been for nothing." MacCready sighed somberly, resting his head back on the bed's pillows as he stared straight at Axel. "You might've given me the orders, but you also gave them with clear-cut choices. I made those choices, Boss. Not you. Can't take the fall for that."

Axel didn't respond to that, eyes glued onto the scarred mess of his side. MacCready sighed, slowly sitting up now that the lethargic drug effect was receeding. He pointed to the large scar tissue over a gash on his back. "I got this scar when my last client thought it'd be a good idea to take on that Swan fucker in the Commons. Swept that club straight across my back, sent me flying toward some building. Woke up and didn't see the guy ever again, so I walked away." He sat back against the pillows, pointing to a small group of scars on his right hip bone. "This one was from a buckshot-got it when another one of my clients stormed straight into a Raider hideout and got himself absolutely obliterated." Lastly, he pointed the his left temple, a large circle scar around where his Gunner tattoo used to be. "This one, I did to myself after I left the Gunners." He paused, gaging Axel's surprised reaction. "You asked me before, when I was being an ass, what I was doing with those Gunners you saw when we first met. I used to be a part of them, a long time ago. They were ruthless, couldn't care less about who they were being sent out to kill as long as they lined their pockets. Made me sick, so I took my papers and walked. They didn't like that, so they're-" he stopped short, sighing as he realized he was ranting and getting off track. "Point is, you can't blame yourself every time I get hurt. I've got plenty of scars, plenty of stories. It's what comes with living in the Wasteland. You don't take risks every once and a while for a couple of people that aren't half bad, you're not living right, Boss."

Axel gaped, his large green eyes watering slightly as he swallowed so thickly his Adam's Apple visibly bounced. "Axel."

MacCready knitted his brows in confusion. "What?" 

"My name. It's Axel. Ya don't gotta keep calling me Boss." 

Slowly, MacCready nodded. "Oh. Alright, Bo-Axel." He winced slightly. 

Axel laughed. "That's okay, it'll take a while to get used to it."

"Mhm," MacCready hummed, distantly feeling the exhaustion creep up behind his eyes as the drugs in his system began cycling through once more. There was Med-X jumbled somewhere in that mess, that he knew, because he'd suddenly felt immensely cold. He moved to pull his duster tighter around him-when he realized it was gone. He sat up in the bed again, catching Axel's attention from scrambling around in his pack. "My duster," MacCready mumbled, eyes flicking to Axel's. "Where is it?" 

Axel quirked a brow at his slightly panicked tone. "It's-you don't remember what happened to it? It got coated in-"

"Yeah yeah, I know. Where is it?" 

Axel was getting increasingly more confused as MacCready continued to panic. "One of the Minutemen had it last I know, I don't know where-"

"I need it." MacCready cut him off curtly, eyes widening. 

Axel was full on puzzled now, mouth agape as he slowly shook his head. "MacCready, the thing's no more than glorified goo now. Why do you-"

"Fine, I'll get it myself." MacCready said defiantly, clawing helplessly at the sheets around his bed and catching sight of his bundled up knee, heart sinking as his plans were foiled. _Fuck it,_ he thought as he began swinging his good leg over the bed. 

"Woah, woah," Axel stood abruptly, pushing him roughly back against the bed. "You're not going anywhere on that knee. It's just a jacket MacCready, why does it matter so much?" 

"It's _**not**_ just a jacket," MacCready ground out, almost on the verge of tears. He sighed deeply at the shocked expression on Axel's face, closing his eyes tightly and slamming his head back into his pillows. "Forget it." 

He heard Axel sigh above him, then felt a pressure on his arm. He cracked open an eye to see Axel tapping him lightly on the shoulder. "I'll go find it, okay? I promise." He stood from his chair, turning toward the exit. "Try and get some more sleep, I'll be back soon." 

MacCready didn't need to be told twice, exhaustion already tugging his eyelids closed.

* * *

"General, there you are! We were wondering if-" Preston's voice was the first thing MacCready heard, not opening his eyes because he wasn't awake-not really. It was promptly cut off with the sound of someone hushing him.

Axel's voice sounded from somewhere close beside him. "He woke up a couple hours ago. Was still kind of out of it, he needs more sleep before he's back to- _himself_." MacCready might've hit him for that were he actually awake.

Preston's boots scuffled against the ground and his voice sounded much closer as he whispered, "What're you doing with that old pile of shreds?"

There was a slight pause, a shift as fabric rubbed together. "He was really determined about this thing. Wanted it back."

"But it's absolutely-"

"I know it is, Preston," Axel said, voice tired and short. MacCready unconsciously wondered how much sleep he's actually gotten since the fight. "But he wouldn't let up about it. Do you think maybe the armory has some cloth? Something to make it look less-trashy?"

"It might. Want me to go check for you?"

"No, I'll go with you. Need to stretch my legs anyway."

MacCready numbly felt his lips twitch up before he fell back to unconsciousness to the sound of boots walking away from him.

* * *

When he woke up for real, it was rather quiet. He blinked blearily, and a quick glance outside the fort showed that it was night. 

That'd explain the quietness, at least. Everyone was probably already asleep. 

Speaking of that, he heard deep breathing, a slight snore beside him. He turned his head toward the noise, and Axel was sprawled on the couch beside his bed, eyes slowly fluttering under their lids and lips slightly parted as his head drooped against the side of his chair. MacCready felt himself smiling slightly at the sight, looking down to see the familiar faded yellow material draped over his legs. 

He sighed slightly, leaning his body forward and reaching his arm over to it, trying his hardest not to disturb him as he began to pull it off his lap. Of course, MacCready didn't have near the grace Axel did, and the second the material slid off his legs, he let out an unceremonious snort and straightened, blinking his green eyes languidly until they focused on him. "Oh, hey."

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," MacCready said, slightly embarrassed as he rubbed the fabric of his duster between his fingers. He furrowed his brows, wait, didn't there used to be a hole there?

Axel grunted softly as he finished stretching out his limbs, leaning over and pulling the lamp switch next to MacCready's bed. "No, it's okay. I was actually just waiting for you to wake-" he stopped short as he saw MacCready staring, stunned at his duster held out in front of him. He felt his face flame, wondering absently if what he had done to it might have offended him in some way, he _did_ say it was really important to him. Maybe Axel fiddling with it and changing it around a little angered him. He swallowed thickly, sighing. "I'm sorry MacCready, I-"

"You did this?" MacCready cut him off, deep blue eyes turning to meet his. They didn't look mad, but they were layered with an emotion he couldn't quite place.

"Uhh, yeah. Yeah, you said you wanted it back. It was kinda worse for wear, and since I was technically the one that made it that way..." he trailed off, squirming under MacCready's intense glare.

"You did this, for me?" MacCready whispered, tone almost unbelieving. 

Something weird fluttered in Axel's chest now, and he nodded slowly-almost cautiously. "Yeah. It was really important to you."

It was all he said, but judging by the absolute fondness adorning every inch of MacCready's face now, he figured he didn't really need to say more. MacCready caught himself smiling like a madman because _fuck,_ he hadn't remembered feeling this happy in a-a damn long time. Nobody's ever done anything like that for him, much less did _anything_ for him. It was-humbling, to say the least. 

He shifted in bed, struggling to lift his still sore and inflamed arm into the jacket sleeve before Axel stood, helping him drape it over his arms and shoulders. He rolled his shoulders, furrowing his brows in curiosity at the unfamiliar feel. "Is that-?"

"Ballistic weave," Axel answered for him, a small smile to his tone. "There was a whole crate of the stuff stashed away in the armory here. I figured that-since you insist on wearing that thing wherever we go instead of a piece of real armor, that I'd at least do something to make it more sturdy." He was slightly put off by the silence on MacCready's end. "I'm sorry, should I not have-?"

"No, no," MacCready was quick to reassure him. "No, I appreciate it. A lot. Thanks, Axel."

Axel smiled wide, nodding. "Course, Mac. S'the least I could do." He sat back in his chair, a long sigh before he looked back to MacCready, who'd just gotten through with situating the jacket around his shoulders when Axel opened his mouth again. "So, I owe you a story."

MacCready's eyes snapped to his, confused at first but he paled slightly as realization washed over him. "You don't gotta-"

"Nonsense," Axel smirked slightly, waving him off. "I promised you the story, didn't I? Don't tell me your whiskers aren't quivering with thinly-veiled excitement at the anticipation!"

MacCready rolled his eyes, sighing. "Always the showman, aren't you?"

Axel smiled, shrugging. "So, whatcha think? You really ready to hear this or you want to catch a couple more hours of sleep before we dive right in?"

MacCready sat up in the bed, rearranging the pillows so that he could sit up against them, turning his full attention to Axel. "I've got time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna make it clear it's not to the point of "love" just yet. Both boys are still in a state of denial, and it's honestly really soon to be pulling that romance card right now. It's more a realization really that there might be something there, a slight infatuation at the greatest. Maybe it's all just misunderstood feelings about the fact they'd both just fought and almost died together.  
> (It's not.)  
> But it's not "love" yet.  
> That'll change.  
> Eventually.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this was a day late. give or take a little, but y'all know Ao3 was down. Was gonna post this Tuesday, but I wasn't actually finished with it before heading off to work, then I had a hair appointment that lasted 3 dang hours, then I came home and completely crashed. A lot of personal crap happened Wednesday, so I put off writing again until late at night, but that's usually when I post anyway. Was actually gonna post the day Ao3 went down, but yeah. We can tell our grandchildren about how we survived the great Ao3 power outage of 2021 because Heat Waves was updated 😉 (jk tbhyourelame/DNF fans please don't @ me ♥️)  
> Anyway I don't think there should be any trigger warnings in this. I kinda just stare at the blank new chapter page until my fingers start working and go from there, so while the main topic of the chapter might be pre-planned sometimes, that's as far as "prep" gets for me.  
> If there are any trigger warnings in this chapter, I'll be sure to change this. If not, you get a bit of insight into how my brain works.

"And now, I'm just trying to find him. This side shit I'm dealing with gets in the way of that, but it keeps my mind off things too. Hard to still have hope otherwise, the Commonwealth's too big a place to look on my own."

MacCready was eerily quiet when Axel was finished with his story. His reaction reminded him a lot of when he told Preston. Axel honestly thought he'd broken him-staring blankly at a wall, unmoving besides a blink here or there to prove he hadn't just died sitting up. He warmed up to the idea eventually, and now is as understanding as such an outlandish story could be understood.

Breaking MacCready though, that didn't sit well with Axel. They'd just begun to really bond, and traveling with him; having MacCready as a constant in the barren wastes, Axel couldn't really explain why it was better but it was. He didn't want to have to risk that. 

MacCready's lips twitched slightly, and Axel hung on to his every hope when they opened. "You gotta know that story's really fucking hard to believe.''

 _Yeah, try living it,_ he wanted to say, because damn had he heard that from almost everybody he'd trusted enough to tell. The fact that he'd only told three people-one who was physically unable to talk and just begged for leftover radroach meat the whole time-didn't matter. It made him feel hopeless, and that's the first thing he wanted to prevent. 

But all he actually said was, "Yeah." He couldn't even look MacCready in the eyes anymore, and just as he made to stand-he felt a feather light-touch to his wrist. He looked back to see MacCready holding his arm out, his hand latched on to Axel's wrist with a determined expression.

"But I do. Believe," MacCready said, almost sounding as if he was pleading. "That's one hell of a psychotic trip for you to just make up."

Axel felt a warmth grow through him at the admission, slowly sitting back down in his chair. "Yeah," he replied slowly, stupidly because someone coming around that fast, even if just to spare feelings, was unexpected to say the least. 

"So, where are you at with it?" MacCready asked slowly, blue eyes a shade darker with pique interest. "Got any leads?" 

"Uhh," he ashamedly had to dive deeper just to find where he left off, not because he'd given up but because to it was too painful for him to want to remember. "I uh, well, the greatest lead I have right now is a potential cloud 9 hyperdream telling me to head to Goodsprings and stop at the Memory Den. Someone there was supposedly waiting there with answers for me. I was supposed to have done it the day I met you, but then everything happened: and I-didnt." He couldn't stand the shame of looking someone in the eye while admitting this, so he looked down at his boots. "I didn't give up on him," Axel reassured, but he wasn't really saying it for MaCready. "I just felt like the more I put focus on that, the more dead ends and wild goose chases I'd be put through. And I hate feeling helpless. Like I should be doing more but I can't. Running away from my problems, that's me at my finest."

"Hey," MacCready broke through Axel's pitiful reverie with a stern tone. "Nobody's gonna blame you for taking a step back. Sometimes it's better that way. You get way too invested in a road that just keeps throwing obstacle after insurmountable obstacle at you, that won't be doing anybody any good. Step back in with a clearer head each time, and that's how you're gonna find your son."

"You sound like-" he stopped himself short, because admitting to MacCready that he sounded just like his wife would bring back more pain than he was ready to let in. He did, though. Back when, he felt like Nora was the only one he could talk to- _really_ talk to, because she was the only one who would understand. She was the only one who could say all the right things just to keep him grounded. But not anymore. "Nevermind," he brushed off MacCready's confused look. "You able to tell me anything about the Memory Den before I charge headlong into it?"

MacCready scoffed, small smirk tugging at his lips. "Can't tell you much besides the fact that it's creepy as shit and the girl claims she doesn't sell skin but I've seen her around the Third Rail striking up business plenty of times. People don't usually go there and come out the same person, far as I know. The ones that choose to stay weren't there to begin with."

Axel sighed. "Well, that's comforting."

MacCready smirked. "Sorry, boss. Just tryna save you some skin is all. Guess the next logical question I could ask: when you're back on the trail; knowing you could find your son at any corner, how's it make you feel?" 

Axel cocked a brow. "What kind of question-"

"Humor me." MacCready cut him short, rolling his eyes. 

Axel sighed, sitting back in his chair as he waited for his brain to come up with the most comprehensive answer. Of course, he was terrified. _What if he doesn't believe me?_ That therein brings up the question of what he would do if he didn't. Would he alert the ones who'd taken him? Kill him himself? There was a reason Axel collected old junk in the first place. Not to remind Shawn of what was, but to hang on to that little shred of him still telling him he could make up for lost time. Toy trucks, cars, comic books, they're all things he remembered liking at Shawn's age. If he could do anything to bring out the kid in Shawn; if whoever had taken him had sucked the innocence straight from him that is, then he'd do it.

"I need to find him," it was a horrid answer to the question, but it's all he could think of.

MacCready didn't seem to mind, cracking a small smile even at the response. "Then you'll be just fine." He sighed, stretching his arms above his head before returning his attention to him "So then, Goodsprings sounds like it'll be the next stop. When everything's back to normal around here," MacCready replied, nodding down to his bandaged up knee that was still slowly healing. Axel's arm had since healed, but that might be in part to the copious amounts of stimpaks he'd taken over the past week and a half. MacCready didn't necessarily take to Stimpaks-Axel had heard somewhere that they worked differently with other people, and he'd guessed the side effects of their uses were more potent with MacCready.

Axel lit up at the implied 'we' in his tone, unable to stop the smile from tugging at his lips. "You mean, you still wanna come with me?"

MacCready cocked an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly as he regarded him. "Course. You hired me to watch your back, didn't you?" 

Axel pushed back that nagging feeling he was just sticking around out of a sense of obligation, nodding slowly. "Sure, but I'd say you more than fulfilled your-''

"Don't you remember, Boss? I said _I'd_ tell you when I'm done. Not you." MacCready smiled at him, giving his arm a light squeeze when Axel looked down. "Boss, I wanna be here. I wanna help you find your son."

Axel Reed Jensen did not cry. Which was surprising, seeing how in tune he was with his emotional side. But he never cried, he had to keep up appearance with those looking up to him. 

But damn if his eyes didn't water up at that. 

He quickly blinked them away, offering MacCready a smile in turn. "Okay." He stood then, gently sliding his arm from MacCready's grasp. "If you're gonna be sticking around, I need you at your top shape. Which means I should leave you alone to rest." He moved to walk out of the fort entrance, but stopped, looking back over his shoulder. "And MacCready?" 

"Yeah, boss." 

"Thank you. For everything. You're a good guy, as much as you try to make it seem like you aren't." 

He was gone before MacCready could squirm under the praise. 

MacCready didn't tell him he felt compelled to help by the off chance that maybe after everything was back to normal, he'd agree to help him.

He hadn't given up either. 

* * *

Both their injuries slowed down their progress noticably enough that it was nearing midnight and they'd not even made it halfway to Goodneighbor. They'd chosen to rest for the night in an abandoned shack by the water separating eastern boston from the main square. Axel was fiddling around with scattered parts of his gun in a shoddy attempt to clean them while MacCready claimed to be trying to catch some z's on one of the two still usable mattresses in the shack.

They'd talked for a while, some about life before the war, some about guns, and other useless things until Axel had asked him something and MacCready's response was a huge snore. Axel wasn't feeling tired, which wasn't at all unusual, so he'd taken to stocking inventory and cleaning his guns. He hadn't heard much of anything from MacCready besides the occasional snore; that is, until he suddenly bolted up into a sitting position. 

Axel jumped in surprise, hand grasping the hilt of his combat knife he'd stabbed into the table just for the hell of it. "What is it?" 

MacCready didn't respond right away, instead he stayed glued to his spot, head snapping side to side at a frantic pace. Axel flipped the light on his Pip-Boy, shining it towards MacCready who'd finally seemed to be coming back to his senses. He blinked away the fog in his eyes, squinting and shielding his eyes from the glare of the flashlight as his body finally made sense it was there. Axel set his Pip-Boy flat on the table, and MacCready sighed exasperatedly, flipping back down on the matress with a loud _thwump._

"Bad dream?" Axel had asked after a while, giving him ample time to calm down. 

"There's such a thing as good ones?" MacCready had tried desperately to revert to his usual smartassy tone, but the shaking in his voice had that falling flat.

"..Wanna talk about it?" Axel asked, barely above a whisper. He didn't have any right just assuming that MacCready would be willing to fan out all his dirty laundry just because he had. That'd be selfish to think so, and the last thing Axel wanted was to think MacCready had to live up to his expectations just because he thought he had to. 

MacCready was silent again for a long while, and Axel had just begun wiping another gun component with a towel before he heard MacCready shift on the bed. "Do you miss her?" 

He'd barely caught what he said, his voice was barely a whisper. When he'd processed it however, he suddenly felt cold. "Every day," he answered honestly. If it were now to be out in the open, it's good that he could at least have someone to talk to about it. He'd been so alone in his grief for such a long time, he almost jumped at the opportunity. "Why?"

MacCready didn't answer that, instead shifting on the matress again and when he did speak, his voice conveyed so much raw hurt Axel had to stop himself from hurling over the table to wrap his arms around him. "What do you do? How do you keep going knowing she's-" he didn't finish that sentence, and Axel wasn't sure if that sentiment was for Axel's sake, or his own. Axel wasn't about to pry into _who_ ever was plaguing MacCready's dreams, but he knew for certain he'd known that pain just as well as he did.

"A lot of people used to tell me the best medicine was to not think about it so much. The truest way to move on is to distance yourself from what hurts you. I think that's a load of shit." MacCready lifted his head, dark silhouette unmoving as if looked toward Axel now. "If you don't give yourself time to grieve, then you're just lying to yourself. That pain isn't something that's just going to go away the more you deny it, or try to forget. If you let yourself feel it, though, instead of repressing it, it doesn't change the past or even make things better, but it helps." Axel swallowed the lump in his throat, tapping a loose screw absently on the table to keep his emotions at bay as best he could for MacCready. "If that person is worth remembering, then remember them. Let yourself feel everything that comes with it. It's the only way to keep breathing."

MacCready's silence was as much as a reply as any, Axel fiddling again with whatever he could get his hands on so he didn't have to focus on the painful situation laid out before him. The light of his Pip-Boy had just begun to fade out when MacCready spoke up again. "You should get some sleep, Boss. I know you're not at 100% either." 

"I don't sleep much anymore," Axel replied almost automatically. "210 years of sleep really fucks with your circadian rhythm."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't still be getting it." MacCready huffed through a yawn. "Besides, watching you royally butcher putting that gun back together is extremely painful."

Axel, caught off guard, scoffed into a light chuckle. "Yeah? Why don't you come over here and show me what I'm doing wrong, then?" When silence hit again, MacCready's breathing pattern was already heavy and slow again. Axel smirked. "That's what I thought." 

However triumphant that had made him feel; waking up the next morning to MacCready singing along to the radio in a crisp and clear voice that pleasantly surprised him, while also reassembling his gun the proper way, made him feel significantly better.

* * *

"I think you've wandered into the wrong place, sugar. Do you even know what we do here?" 

_Demon-summoning?_ MacCready thought. _Blood sacrifice? Organ harvesting?_

"Does it involve a back room and a handful of singles?"

_What?_

What was funny enough to them both was that Irma had the gall to look offended when she hadn't exactly made it a point to hide her side-hobbies. Her eyes narrowed, her hand clutching at her chest in mock indignation. "Oh, you've got the wrong idea, hunny! I don't sell skin, I sell memories!"

"Memories?" Both boys said in unison, piqued interest now. 

Irma turned her head to regard MacCready as if she'd just noticed he was there, raising an inquisitive eyebrow before turning her attention back to Axel. "This place is not for everyone. As long as you have memories, we have the means to make them real for you. But that's not all the glitz and glamor it seems to be. Sometimes the strongest, most _'right'_ memories are the ones that do the most damage." 

_For crying out loud, just get to the point, so we can dip-_

"You're cautious, I respect that. But I think I can handle it, if you'll just let me try." 

_That's especially not how that was supposed to go._ "Boss." 

One glance at MacCready from over Axel's shoulder had him shutting up, albeit with a grumble as Axel turned his attention back to Irma. She was regarding him with a thoughtful expression, her eyes luring over his figure with a distant hunger in her eyes that made MacCready feel rather odd. It wasn't the kind of hunger he was used to, this expression would be better suited to intrigue, the look people get when somebody surprises them. 

Either way he looked at it, MacCready did not like it. 

"Hmm, I guess there would be no harm in at least giving you a trial run. What exactly are you searching to remember, Sweetheart?"

Before Axel could answer, MacCready stepped in between the two, pulling at Axel's arm. "Can we talk for a second?" He didn't wait for an answer before dragging Axel off to a separate room, closing the door behind him and fixing him with the most dubious glare he could think of. "The fuck do you think you're doing, Boss? There's a _reason_ memories are called memories, you're not supposed to be able to relive them!" 

"It's our only choice right now, MacCready. I've been through simulations like this in the army. I know how to keep my head." 

"What the hell kind of simulations are plugging into your brain and reading your every thought just so you can take a trip down memory lane?" MacCready almost yelled, gritting his teeth under the frustration. "Look, Boss, I know you're just trying to find your kid, but there's gotta be other ways than-" 

"Let me have my time to grieve, alright?" MacCready grew silent at the near shame in Axel's voice as he countered his ranting. "I need to see her, even if it's not real. Even if it's all just in my head. I just wanna hear her voice again." 

MacCready stiffened. He still didn't like this idea. There's way too many things that could go wrong. But MacCready knew just about as much as he did what it meant to miss someone like that to the point it made you desperate. And if he really wanted to do this, there'd be no way to stop him from it. He eventually relented, sighing as he turned, opening the door back up behind him and gesturing Axel to move. 

"Just don't expect me to go in with you or anything. I got way too much shit going on in my head I'd rather not have a repeat of." 

Axel only chuckled, slightly shaking his head as they walked back to the memory Den. Irma looked up at their arrival, brow quirked in an unasked question.

"Okay, let's do this then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, how am I doing? It's been kinda quiet on the other end, a comment or two about how the story's progressing so far would be awesome! Suggestions, criticism, blargs, all are welcome! ♥️  
> Also I know it's a really sudden ending, but I wanna save the events of the Memory Den for next chapter so then it'll have a clear pathway to the next topic of the story. If I kept going on this chapter, it would mean that next topic would have to fit into this chapter too and then it would just be too long.  
> Plus, I may or may not be tired af seeing as it's 1:35 AM right now :)  
> Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed and PLEASE don't hesitate to let me know how I'm doing in the comments or through kudos or something. Okay love y'all bye ❤️


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS AHEAD:  
> Implied/Referenced Character Death, Drug Use, Intoxication, Alcohol Abuse, Face Smacking ((I say this as a trigger because 1)it is a trigger, and 2) Some people may interpret it as nonconsensual because they're both high and drunk as hell, but I promise that's not what I intended upon writing and it more of less gets "resolved" afterwards)), and a decent amount of angst.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy ♥️. Our boys finally experiment with those "delusions" they've had about eachother, plus Hancock because who doesn't love us a snarky, drug-addicted, fun-loving, wise beyond his years, drifter-turned-mayor ghoul?

For the Boss's sake, MacCready kept his mouth shut. He didn't say a thing when Amari poked and prodded his skull, when Irma got way too personal with her questions, or even when the Boss was magnetically sealed into that little pod thing with no way to get out. 

Axel was a good man. A sad, good man. And MacCready had to respect his wishes. So he didn't say a thing. 

And then a gas flooded the pod and knocked Axel out clean. 

_Fuck that._ MacCready jumped up off his chair, racing over to the pod and tried to manually open the seal. When that, of course, didn't work, he turned hot on Irma and took a very threatening three steps toward her before the bitch started laughing. Actually _laughing_ at him and as much as he wanted to punch that nose in, he stopped dead and just watched. 

She finally seemed to catch her breath enough to wipe at her eyes, sniffling as she peered at MacCready, a softer look than she'd cast his way before as she regarded him. "Relax, RJ. It's just anesthesia. We can't simulate his memories without his brain being calmed. It won't hurt him." 

MacCready sighed, defeated as he turned his glance toward the boss. He didn't really have much of a reason to doubt her. While he knew this shit gave him the heebie-jeebies, he also knew that there were people who'd come in and then keep coming back. So it obviously wasn't killing anybody. He glanced back at Irma, crossing his arms across his chest. "So, which pitstop down memory lane did you send him to?" She cocked an oblivious brow. MacCready sighed. "What memory is he seeing?" 

Irma exhaled in a gruff understanding, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "That's really up to him, hun. Whatever his most recent memory of his wife is, that's what he'll see." 

MacCready glanced at the Boss, watching as his eyes fluttered rapidly under their lids, his eyelashes bouncing against his cheekbones. He'd have to make it a point to mentally chastise himself later for staring so much. He had bigger things to worry about right now. "And what if something goes wrong? If it's a bad memory? What do you do?"

"Then we pull him out, simple as that." Irma smirked encouragingly at him, pointing towards a chair lying adjacent to her's, a place where he could sit but still watch over Axel if he wanted. "We've got this under control, MacCready. Why don't you just try and relax?" 

MacCready held back from saying that usually whenever he hears someone bragging about how much control they have, something bad always ends up eating their words straight from their throat. As long as he didn't say it out loud, nothing bad would happen, right?

* * *

It's when Axel saw that bright light, and felt as if he were mostly frozen, that he knew. 

This was not a good memory. 

_'This is the one. Here.'_

_His heart began racing at an overwhelming rate as he watched his own figure banging on the glass of his pod. When he turned around, saw Nora on the other side holding their baby, their beautiful baby boy, a sob burst bodily through his throat-he felt his chest vibrate from the force of it._

_The figure from before, bald headed, scar over his left eye, sneered as he walked with purpose toward her pod. If there was a way to go back in time, or a way to break through the barrier separating memory from reality and strangle this man with his bare hands before he even stepped foot through that vault, he would. And he'd do it again. And again. Even if it meant they were never found, that their bodies were perfectly preserved for the rest of time down here, he'd do it._

_He could not wait until he found this bastard._

_'Open it,' the waste growled. Axel took note of everything he could-his face, clothing, weapons, what he sounded like-anything he could think of to use to make finding this piece of shit that much easier._

_He heard a screech behind him, a door opening, a baby's cry. He heard his wife coughing, heard her gasping for breath, then heard her voice. His heart turned as cold as the rest of him._

_He couldn't turn around._

_'Let the Boy go,' he felt himself shutting down as he saw the gun, a one-handed .44 caliber pistol that he raised towards his wife's heart. It was getting increasingly harder to breathe as he finally turned and saw the pain, the raw fear in his wife's eyes as they trained on the pistol pointed at her chest. But then her eyes flickered up, resting on her husband who, despite the exhaustion creeping through his bones, was bloodying his fists on the glass screen of his pod trying to get out, that hard realization, determination, and knowing layered her hazel green eyes._

_She turned her eyes toward the bastard, tears welling up in the waterline as she clutched Shawn tightly to her chest. 'I'm not giving you Shawn.'_

_And so the bastard shot her in the head, instead._

_Axel lost all of his sense of mind, lost all feeling in him as he screamed. His legs fell out from under him, crashing hard against the cold, hard steel of the floor as sobs absolutely racked his body, making his gasp for every single breath he took. He couldn't even feel the beat of his heart anymore, he wasn't even sure if it was beating at all. He certainly didn't want it to._

_'Goddamnit, get the kid out of here and let's go.' The murderer stepped right through Axel's form as if he were nothing, turning toward the pod where his past form was lying, so shattered he couldn't even blink, and pressed his face up toward the glass as if he wanted Axel to see him. Wanted to know exactly who it was that took everything from him._

_It did him no favors to realize that he probably did._

_'At least we still have the backup.'_

_'God...damnit,' Axel gasped, clenching his teeth against the biting, familiar cold setting through his bones as the cryogenic began cycling through his pod again. 'I'm gonna...kill..you.'_

_He heard another voice, but couldn't make any words out as he pitifully crawled on the floor after the man's retreating form. Another voice joined in, still only murmurs as he changed his trajectory, head sliding toward his wife's pod. He slowly pushed himself up, walking on jello as he made his way to her pod, nearly collapsing as he rested his head against the glass looking in._

_He was so tired._

_'I love you...' he heard Nora's voice whisper, going as dead as she was at the end._

_He closed his eyes against the exhaustion, feeling the chill climb through him. He fell to the floor, leaning heavily against the Pod as his eyelids threatened to shut permanently under their weight._

_'I love you, too.'_

* * *

"Goddamnit," Amari hissed, making MacCready's eyes shoot up from one of the issues of Grognak Axel had stocked in his pack. 

"Amari?" Irma called, brows furrowed as she slid out of her chaise and stood behind her, staring at the screen in front of them. "What's wrong?" 

"His vitals are dropping. Fast. He needs to get out of there, but he won't listen to me, almost as if he's unresponsive." 

"He's what?" MacCready bolted from the chair, barely hearing as it tipped over and smacked hard against the wooden floor. He raced toward the screen, pushing past the two roughly to look through it. His heart rate was absolutely off the charts, his blood pressure rising steadily every second. 

"He'll go into cardiac arrest soon if he doesn't calm down," Amari said gravely. 

"So then do something! Pull the damn plug!" MacCready felt his own blood pressure spiking as his eyes glued onto the boss, lying seemingly unbothered in the chamber. 

"We can't do anything unless he calms down while in the simulation, MacCready. He'll seize as soon as we end the simulation if he's not calm enough." She began calling his name, trying to get his attention, but failed. 

MacCready's heart was sinking in his chest the more the numbers raised-or fell, respectively on that little screen. He took a deep, shaky breath, knowing what he had to do as he closed his eyes. "Let me try." 

"You?" The women hesitated, enough to make MacCready's entire body flame. 

"Yes, me," he hissed, venom clear as he spat. "We're wasting time. Give me the damn headset." 

Amari seemed to jump to her senses, ripping the set off Irma and planting it on MacCready's head. She turned some dials and pushed some buttons, then pressed a microphone into MacCready's hands. 

MacCready stayed where he was, but planted his vision on the Boss as he raised the microphone to his lips. "Axel."

* * *

_Nora knelt in front of the stroller, face alight with glee as she wiggled her fingers in front of Shawn's face as he giggled uncontrollably._

_Axel watched on, smile breaking his cheeks as he took in the beautiful day around him. They'd taken a stroll to the park, the sun was just beginning to set over the horizon, casting the sky in beautiful pinks, reds and oranges. There were distant shouts and giggles from children playing on the playground in the center of the park, distant murmurs from parents as they watched over their kids with smiles on their faces. When Axel breathed in, he could smell the coffee beans from the shop next store, the smell of frying foods from the burger shop next door. The birds sang a tune as they built their nests in the trees above them._

_His eyes caught on a group of pink roses, nestled up against a hedge of greens and yellows from the incoming fall season. Pink roses were Nora's favorites, weren't they?_

_He stepped away from the stroller, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Nora's cheek before he straightened, walking toward the rosebush._

_'Axel.'_

_He stopped short, turning his head this way and that to try and find whoever was trying to get his attention. He felt as if he should know this voice, it was eerily familiar. Was it Mr. Rosa? Maybe Mr. Smith?_

_He knelt down, plucking two roses from the bush, popping off the thorns. He turned around toward where he'd left his family, but stopped as he realized they weren't there. In fact, the ground on which they were resting just moments before looked grey, almost metallic and was rather cold when he stepped over it. He looked around frantically, eventually spotting them over by the benches almost on the other side of the park. That was certainly...odd._

_Still, he shook it off and headed toward Nora and Shawn._

_She smiled brilliantly at him as he approached, arching a brow as she saw he was holding something behind him._

_Axel smiled, flashing his hands out in front of him, presenting the two pink roses between his fingers._

_Nora gasped, eyes shining bright as she eagerly snatched the roses from him, pressing her lips against his. He smiled against her lips, slipping a rose from her grasp and pushing back the hair blocking her ear. He pressed the rose to the back of her ear, breaking away to look at his work._

_She was absolutely stunning._

_He cupped her cheek in his hand, thumb rubbing in circles on the soft, warm surface of her skin. 'You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen, you know that?'_

_Her smile lit her eyes up even further as she stood up on the tips of her toes, pecking his cheek before leaning back in front of the stroller. 'Look what daddy brought us, Shawn! Aren't they just the prettiest things you've ever seen?' She pressed the rose petals lightly under Shawn's nose, tickling his skin enough he sneezed, then giggled as he clutched the rose in his little hands, so gentle even given his age._

_Axel smiled down at the sight of them, taking in the beautiful family he created, when he heard the voice again, just behind his shoulder._

_'Axel, c'mon.'_

_He whipped his head around, but there was still nobody there. He turned fully then, eyes scanning every inch behind him, but still, there was no one. In fact, he and his family seemed to be the only ones left in the park. Weird, he'd just heard children's squeals before the voice came again._

_When he turned back around, Nora was staring at him, eyes asking several questions and brows furrowed in concern. 'Are you alright, Love?'_

_Axel blinked, turning his head back one more time before facing her again. 'You didn't hear anything?'_

_Her brows knitted tighter. 'No, we're the only ones here.'_

_Axel paused, feeling his heartbeat quicken slightly as he swallowed. 'Are you sure you didn't hear something? Nothing at all?'_

_Nora shook her head, standing and pressing the back of her hand to Axel's face. 'Nothing. Are you feeling alright, baby?'_

_Axel sighed, caressing her hand in his as he blinked. 'I'm-fine. Just tired, I think.'_

_Nora's eyes stayed concerned, but she gave him a small smile. 'Let's say we head home then, you can have a little lie down?'_

_Axel swallowed, nodding. 'Yeah, yeah that sounds good.'_

_Nora slid her hand from his, sliding her slim frame between him and the stroller, beginning to push it forward._

_Axel followed closely behind, but felt as if the air had turned rather chilly. He furrowed his brows, swallowing the shivers in his throat as he hugged into himself. 'Is it cold to-'_

_He stopped short as he looked up to Nora and surrounding the area to his left was nothing but grey walls, floors, and what looked to be like pods littering the walls._

_'Wha-' he looked back to Nora, who was no longer in her long, flowing red dress and sandals and was now standing in a blue vault suit, gaping hole in the side of her head and dreadful red trickling down the side of her face._

_Axel gasped, racing toward her but as soon as he held his hands out to her, she disappeared and he swiped at air. When he turned, she was sitting, sprawled out in a pod and Axel on the other side, banging against the glass._

_Her eyes flicked down to her, and suddenly the hole wasn't there anymore, nor the door separating them as she leaned forward, brushing her lips longingly over his and fingers pressing his chin up, up, up._

_'Go, Axel. He needs you.'_

_Before Axel could respond, the entire scene around him changed and now he was on the floor of the vault. He gasped back to his senses, eyes snapping open. He blinked hazily, looking down-no pink rose in his hands._

_'Axel? Are you back?'_

_He swallowed thickly. He knew that voice. 'Ma-MacCready?'_

_'Yea, yes boss, it's me. It's MacCready. Listen, I know you probably don't know what the hell's going on right now, but I need you to do something for me, okay?'_

_Axel blinked through the hazy glaze in his eyes, gulping. 'Okay.'_

_'Okay, Axel. I need you to calm down alright? You don't even have to be okay, I just need you to calm down enough to pull you out of there okay? Can you do that?'_

_Oh, right. His heartbeat was drumming through his ears. 'I, don't-'_

_'C'mon, Boss. It's real simple. Just take a deep breath, like this. In,' MacCready's voice halted, and Axel could hear as he took a deep inhale. Axel followed suit. 'And out,' MacCready whispered, letting his breath fall out as he spoke. 'Yeah, Axel. Just like that. You're doing great boss, real great...'_

_His voice faded out slowly, and in its place, a blinding white light..._

* * *

His eyes snapped open, a shrill gasp falling from his mouth as he blinked wildly at the blank, white screen ahead of him. 

"C'mon, let him out of this thing!" 

His eyes snapped down to see MacCready, standing in front of his pod and slapping his hands against the glass. 

"Alright, MacCready. No need to break the equipment, I'm letting him out," he heard a voice-Amari-exclaim off to the side. 

He heard a loud hiss, then saw as the chamber began unlatching itself, and then it was lifting away from him and he was staring, unmoving and mute as MacCready stared back, visible concern clouding his face. 

"Boss, you alright?" He stepped closer, holding out his arm. "C'mon, let's get you out of there, yeah?" 

Slowly, Axel took his arm and stood, but as soon as he was standing on solid ground again, he felt his legs give out from under him. MacCready managed to catch him before he fell, exclaiming before straightening him, holding up most of his weight as he slung one of his arms around his shoulders and steered them toward the couch. As soon as he was lowered onto it, Irma was in his face, handing him a can of purified water which he snatched greedily. 

"I'm _so_ sorry, hun. If I knew we'd be putting you through that again, I would have never said yes." 

Axel popped open the can, pressing it to his lips and throwing his head back. He swallowed shakily, blinking languidly up at Irma. "I will, definitely-" he paused, taking another gulp of water, " _not_ be recommending this place to my friends."

A small smile of humor that could've just as well been one of pity tugged at her lips before she sighed, hand resting comfortingly on his shoulder. "I truly am sorry, dear, but what you need is a detective, not a relapse. Nick Valentine, up in Diamond City? He specializes in disappearences and kidnappings. If anyone could help you find your son, it's him."

Axel gulped back the rest of his water, sighing as he felt his strength slowly retuning and the familiar pit of failure settling in his gut about _again_ being forced on a wild goose chase. Still, he owed it to Shawn, and to Nora, to try. He promised.

He stood slowly, gently brushing off MacCready's offer to help him as he nodded toward Irma. "Thanks. I might just do that." He turned to MacCready, who was staring at him with a shocked expression in his eyes. "C'mon, MacCready, I could use a room."

MacCready stood there, gaping as his boss didn't seem the least bothered at all as he walked with straight purpose out the door. He turned his shock toward Irma, who only looked slightly better than him. She shrugged, nodding toward the door that Axel had pushed away from. 

MacCready sighed, jogging to catch up with him. 

* * *

MacCready did not like the sudden silence from the Boss as they walked shoulder-to-shoulder to Hotel Rexford, not even looking at Claire as he pushed 10 caps on the counter toward her. He only looked back at MacCready, waving over his shoulder to follow him. 

MacCready ignored the questioning glare from Claire as he followed closely behind the boss as if he could crumble at any moment-which MacCready was honestly expecting right about now. 

They'd pushed through their door, Axel heading toward the beds and setting his pack down on one, sitting on the other one with his head in his hands. 

MacCready left him alone up to the point where he had nothing else that could possibly distract him, sighing as he decided now was the time to poke the bear. "Do you wanna talk about anything?" Axel barely even registered the question, or that MacCready was even in the room, a slight shake of his head his only response. MacCready gulped back his apprehension, glaring at his pitiful form. "Well then maybe you should try laying down and getting some sleep-"

"No!" MacCready physically jumped at the sudden explosion of rage in the Boss's voice, staring wide-eyed at his red, rather vicious expression. Axel must've realized he scared him above all else, because his face softened into an apologetic expression before he sighed, hanging his head in his hands again. "I'm sorry, Mac. I just-I just need a drink. That's it."

MacCready stood stunned still for a bit before sense began filling back into his body, and he straightened, sighing. "Okay, I can help with that." He tossed around his bag for a while, and before Axel could tell him he wasn't just in the mood for ten day old scotch from the bottom of MacCready's sack, he popped his hands back out and was holding-a pair of oven mitts, and two zipties. 

"Uhhh, what?" 

MacCready shook his head, breaking off his boss before he gestured for him to hold his hands out. Tentatively, he placed them palm up and MacCready took the time to immediately wrap them in the mitts, securing the zipties rightly around his wrists before Axel even had time to react. He withdrew his hands in shock, staring at them with encroaching panic. 

"MacCready, what the hell?" 

MacCready only lifted a finger, leaning down and unlacing Axel's boots, ripping them from his feet and dropping them in Axel's pack. He stopped lower, rifling through both of their packs and coming back with anything that could be regarded as a weapon, as well as holstering their own big guns around his back before he finally turned his attention to his rightfully panicked, flustered boss. 

"Stay right here. I'll be right back." 

He was gone and locking the door behind him before Axel could even come to the conclusion he did all that so Axel wouldn't have any means to purposely hurt himself. 

His cheeks warmed slightly at the realization, settling out of place with the grief striking his bones.

* * *

"Hey, I'm back! Hope you don't mind, but I brought a friend." 

Axel opened his eyes, leaning up on the matress on a single elbow as his eyes registered the 'guest' MacCready had brought. He couldn't help his smile as he realized who it was. "Hancock!"

"Hey there, brother. Long time, no see." He paused at the sight of him, cocking his head with a look of humor in his face. "Now, ain't that a sight. I ain't one to judge, but I gotta say I've never heard of this kind of kink." 

"Hardy har har," MacCready groaned, dropping crates full of alcohol and what looked to be drugs on the table next to the bed, walking up to the Boss and grabbing his hands, pulling them closer to him. He deposited a switchblade from his duster pocket, smacking on his bubblegum as he hooked the blade under the zipties, cutting his wrists free. He slid the mitts off his hands, tossing them back into his pack before nodding toward the crates. "What'll it be to start, Boss? Bottle of whiskey or a shot or two of jet?" 

"Oh please," Hancock interrupted, pushing MacCready roughly away from the stash. MacCready huffed, looking mock offended as he took a seat next to Axel on the bed. "You daisies don't know the first thing about how to party. We'll start off with Buffjet with a whiskey chaser."

* * *

When Mac was laying across the two mattresses, taking a short nap to make room for more mind-numbing shit, Axel was laying back against the headboard, Mac's upper body spread across his legs and a bottle of tainted scotch pressed to his lips. 

"I should've done more," he muttered absently to Hancock, who'd asked him a little about his family. "I should've been braver, stronger. I should've been more suspicious about the offer. Should've used my head for once." 

"That's a lot of should haves," Hancock slurred-he'd always be the one to take much more hits than anyone around him, ghouls could take a shitton of hits before they were down. "Lot of wishing you could change things that can't be changed. Why don't you try letting that go sometime? You'll feel a lot better."

Axel scoffed, downing a shot and maneuvering Mac's body so he wasn't cutting the blood flow from his upper thigh. Mac's brows furrowed slightly against the shift, but immediately his face stilled and his heavy breathing pattern resumed. Axel sighed, leaning his head back against the headboard and staring up at the ceiling. "That's a lot easier for you to say-you didn't have your entire life ripped from you in a single day. If I'd just been a better husband, a better father-"

"Hey," Hancock replied with such finality in his tone that Axel paid attention immediately. He sat forward in his chair, as far as he could go before falling off, black beady eyes boring into him. "Did you love your wife?" 

_what the fuck kind of question was that?_ "Of course I did." 

Hancock hummed in affirmation, giving a short nod. "And your son?"

Axel gulped under Hancock's intent gaze, nodding slowly. "With all my heart."

Hancock, looking pleased, nodded as he sat back in his chair, rumbling around in the crates for a new hit of jet. 

"Then you sound wonderful."

* * *

By the time MacCready woke up, Hancock had already passed out on the floor, an infinite amount of empty syringes, mentat containers, and jet inhalers surrounding his from, a beer bottle still hanging loosely in his grip as he snored loudly from where he lay. 

MacCready sat up, stretching and lightly chuckling at the sight, padding with socked feet around the hazardous conditions surrounding his friend, plucking the bottle from his grip and setting it on the table. He then rummaged through the crates, pulling out a new bottle of scotch and uncapping it. He walked back over to the beds, sitting in the one that was unoccupied by Axel. 

Now, it was just the two of them, and the warm tension above them was almost suffocating.

They were lapsed in companionable silence, each taking swigs from their respective bottles before that feeling stirring in Axel's chest threatened to burst. "MacCready," he began. 

"Mmhm?" MacCready slurred from where he sat, both men well past the point of "slightly buzzed." 

"I just wanted to-," he paused, swallowing back the drops of whiskey still on his tongue, "just wanted to thank you. For what you did for me back there. I didn't know if I'd," he didn't finish that, instead shrugging "You know." 

"Yeah, yeah Axel. Of course." MacCready replied almost awkwardly, lying stiff against the headboard beside him.

"What, uh, what made you know it would work?" Axel asked, scratching against the back of his neck.

"I-didn't," MacCready admitted, clearing his throat. "Irma and Amari both tried for forever and couldn't get you to move an inch. It was either I try, or watch you," he stopped, taking another swig. His cheeks were flushed with the alcohol, but Axel sensed that alcohol wasn't the only thing to do with the bright pink coating his skin. "I cared about you." MacCready finally admitted, gulping so hard Axel could see his neck muscles tense. "I guess I still do, care about you. A lot, really. More than I-more than I thought I could." 

Axel felt a bubbly warmth rising in his stomach that had nothing to do with the alcohol swimming down there. He hitched in a breath, hands shaking slightly around his bottle as he turned to stare straight into MacCready's eyes. They looked so-nervous, scared, paranoid that what he said wasn't going anywhere and he'd opened up for nothing. 

Axel responded in kind by dropping his bottle and letting it spill on the carpeted floor underneath them as he used that now free hand to tentatively brush against MacCready's right cheekbone. MacCready seemed to lean into the touch, and Axel put on the pressure, cupping MacCready's whole cheek in his hand now. It was warm to the touch, MacCready's eyes wide as saucers as Axel brushed his thumb in patterns against his face. "You do?" Axel asked, voice much more confident than either of them really felt. 

MacCready couldn't respond vocally, so he only nodded against Axel's touch, slowly bringing up his own hand to press it against Axel's. "Yeah, boss. Yeah, I do." 

And then there was an insufferable few seconds of no movement between them, not a single sound besides the heavy breathing of their comatose friend on the floor, before Axel gave out a single curse and dived hungrily into MacCready's lips. 

MacCready acted in kind by his hands immediately tearing at Axel's jacket, ripping it from his shoulders and shifting back so he could still tongue rapidly across Axel's lips and in his mouth, working against the buttons of his own flannel shirt. 

Axel growled, slapping MacCready's hands away and flipping him to lay against the bed, pressing wet hot kisses against his skin, working in a pattern against his chest and down as each of his buttons came free. MacCready whined pitifully against Axel's lips, his breath cascading in hot currents against his skin as his lips came to a stop just above the waist of his jeans. 

Axel arched his head up then, eyes a dangerously dark shade of green as he searched MacCready's face for any sign of approval. When MacCready's deep blue ocean eyes met his, a blur of want and pleading etched deep into them, Axel growled dominately and ripped at MacCready's belt, snapping it off as he immediately went to his button, just getting it undone when MacCready shifted. 

"Wait." 

Axel bit back his whine of disapproval, immediately taking his hands off him and eyes gluing to his. "Hmm?"

"We can't." MacCready immediately reached up, hand cupping the side of his face as Axel looked away. "You're completely smashed."

"So are you," Axel whined weakly but he already found himself agreeing as the initial high wore off. He sighed, sitting up and hands going back to MacCready's pants. When MacCready made to stop him again, Axel shook his head and looked back up at him. "Relax, I'm just putting your pants back on."

"Oh," MacCready whispered, settling back against the matress and lightly dozing as Axel zipped his pants, leaning further back and stripping himself and MacCready of their socks before letting out a big sigh, plopping down on the matress beside MacCready and startling him slightly awake. 

Axel grumbled something about MacCready being an ass, turning on his shoulder away from him, and MacCready only chuckled, sittingg up on an elbow and leaning over Axel's shoulders, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Hey," he purred. "Later, yeah?" 

Axel muttered something incoherent again, making MacCready chuckle lightly and lay on his back against the matress, closing his eyes. He only opened them again when he felt Axel shift, and then felt his eyes on him. When he opened them and turned his head, Axel was staring at him with the most pitiful puppy-dog pout playing on his lips that MacCready couldn't help but smile at. "Can we at least cuddle?" Axel slurred, voice showing his exhaustion and intoxication clearly. 

MacCready's smile only grew as he laughed lightly, turning on his side facing Hancock's still passed out figure. "I guess I can allow that." 

"Oh, how gracious of you," Axel retorted, scooting closer to MacCready so that he felt the skin of Axel's stomach pressing against his back. MacCready closed his eyes when he felt an arm loop around his waist, effortlessly pulling his entire weight as close to him as he could. Axel let out a big yawn, hot breath sending shivers down his spine and then almost immediately fell asleep, hugging MacCready close. 

MacCready wasn't far behind, his last conscious thought being that he hadn't felt this safe and _right_ in a long, long time.

* * *

When Hancock woke abruptly to the bright sun filtering in from the shutters still left on the hotel windows, he groaned against the familiar pressure on his head telling him he'd gone too far last night. 

He grunted, pushing himself onto his stomach away from his discarded drugs, pitifully picking himself up off the floor and taking stock of his surroundings.

When he found Sole and MacCready, half naked, both still fast asleep and basically on top of eachother, Hancock let a satisfied smile stretch across his face. "I goddamn knew it," he whispered to himself, trying to stagger as quietly as he could out of the room and closing the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This actually took longer to write than I thought.  
> And there we go, only 6 chapters in and the sexual tension makes its first appearance. Will it get to the point of smut? Depends on how well received this chapter is, I guess.  
> Anyway, next chapter, they'll be going off to find Valentine, so be prepared for all that fighty angsty sexual tension prevalent even through it all kinda stuff about to go on. Love y'all, again! ♥️ Thanks for sticking with me through this mess of a work.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These chapters appear to be getting longer. That's a good thing. Means I got a lot more to say than I thought :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beginning of this chapters gonna be angsty, middle is gonna be full of canon-typical violence (don't worry, not too serious this time), end's gonna be probably angsty still but things are gonna get (idk how to write in italics on phone without the fancy button) resolved.  
> veryy quickly.  
> Y'all ever think about how many fights could've been avoided if people just said what they really felt?  
> Yeah, me too. Doesn't mean I still don't wanna play that grasping for plot game though 😏

He hadn't been held like this in over 200 years. 

He hadn't shared a bed with anyone in over 200 years. 

He hadn't felt anything remotely close to love in over 200 years. 

So it was only right that when Axel woke up, he thought he was spooning his 200+ year long dead wife. 

His eyes slowly opened but were far from focusing on anything, he was half awake at best. His smile slowly growing on his face as her slow, heavy breathing sending waves of drowsy tranquility though him as he raised a hand supporting her head up, slowly running a hand through her hair. 

It was considerably shorter than he'd remembered, but Nora _did_ like taking spontaneous trips to the barber shop without telling him. She was full of surprises like that, always craving something new. Besides, it didn't matter to Axel what Nora's hair looked like. She was still the most beautiful thing on the earth, and he was more than lucky to be able to call her his. 

Her figure slowly shifted under him when he stopped racking through those curls that excited him to no end-Nora usually kept her hair straight. Even though Axel repeatedly told her he loved, and would love to see her hair in curls. 

He closed his eyes, deep exhale as he snuggled his face up in the crook of her neck, feeling the lure of entirely peaceful exhaustion pulling at him. He smiled against her skin, peppering the back of her neck and tip of his back with slow, sleepy kisses before he settled, the drowsiness finally catching up with him. 

"You're so beautiful, you know that? Don't know what I did to catch someone like you, but I love you, _Nora._ Always."

* * *

Well. That hurt. 

MacCready waited a good while after he felt Axel's arms go limp around him and his breath even into slow snoring before he squirmed enough to break from his grasp. He sat up in bed, turning to peer at his sleeping form. 

He couldn't blame Axel. Which also meant he couldn't be mad at him, no matter how much he _really_ wanted to be. Honestly, if he were in Axel's situation, which he sort of was, he would've done the same thing. At least he could take solace in knowing he wasn't the one to call the other by their dead wife's name first. 

But, if this was a sign as much as anything else, it meant they were going _way_ too fast. Lucy had died three years ago, and while it still pulled at his brain to sit and think about her, he couldn't even imagine what Axel must really be going through-under that Mr. Nice scheme he's playing. Sure, it had been like 10 years since his wife had died, but he'd been asleep through almost all of it. He hadn't even had time to grieve, to grow past that, to even _feel_ the aching loss and having to move on through all of that on his own. In a way, he almost envied him for that. There was a reason his tab at the Third Rail had gotten so damn big, after all. 

Still, even though he understood it, he couldn't help but feel that sting when he realized that last night was very much more likely to be only because of the alcohol and drugs fogging his system. MacCready was more than accustomed to learning to ride the high, still feeling buzzed but being able to keep a little sense of control over himself. It's why he'd stopped Axel before they could get too far. He'd remember it, but he wasn't too sure Axel wouldn't wake up with regret. 

Yes, he'd stopped for Axel. Because he cared for Axel. And when he'd heard that crazy story the boss was spewing about his really really fucked up life story, he couldn't help but feel that it was all from whatever son of a bitch beings up there decided was their next crusade on the two poor bastards. That maybe they were meant to meet for a reason. 

But just because that's what MacCready felt, doesn't mean Axel felt the same way. MacCready may have had some sense of control over his decisions last night, but he should've been smarter than that to think Axel really meant it. He didn't like it, but MacCready had to be the bigger guy here, even though it hurt like hell to have to go back to stewing in his deep loneliness again. Hell; maybe he wasn't really ready for this either, if he had to be so dependent on someone else saving him from that feeling.

He sighed, sitting up from the bed and scooping up his duster and shirt, ducking into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

* * *

It didn't take Axel being fully awake to realize that something was wrong. The bed beside him was cold, and when he sat up, MacCready was sitting down in a chair as far away from the bed as he could get. He wouldn't look him in the eye, even though he knew MacCready knew he was awake by the little twitch in his hands when he was fiddling with his gun. 

He swallowed against the tense, cold air around him and turned his head. Next to him, on the table, was a can of purified water and a vial of Med-X. He looked back to MacCready with his eyes narrowed in questions, and MacCready's eyes slowly flickered up to his before almost immediately looking over to the water. 

"For your hangover. Figured you wouldn't be feeling too nice after all that stupid shit we got into last night."

It stung like a bitch how he emphasized the 'stupid shit' part. Did he really regret it that much? 

"MacCready-"

"We heading out to save Detective Clockwork today?" 

He paused, eyebrows furrowing in both confusion and frustration at the abrupt cutoff, and also the description of Valentine. "Who?"

MacCready paused, deep blue eyes regarding him thoughtfully before realization hit him. "Oh, right. You haven't met him yet. You'll get what I mean when we save his ass." 

The cold air resumed almost immediately, and Axel wondered if MacCready was feeling it too. If he was feeling anything at all. 

"You don't have to do that, you know." 

MacCready paused, confusion etched in his face as he peered at him. "What, unjam my rifle? I dunno about you, Boss, but the prospect of going in balls-deep in danger without a functioning weapon doesn't really sit well with me."

He bit back the sting at how MacCready had defaulted back to calling him 'Boss,' pushing the feeling away for what was more important. 

"Pity me, I mean." MacCready's hands immediately stilled on his rifle, but his eyes were still glued on it. "You don't gotta spare my feelings or anything. This whole cold shoulder act the morning after doesn't work with me. I can see right through you. If you really felt that sorry for me, you wouldn't have pressed your lips all over me." 

Axel regretted it immediately after he said it. MacCready's jaw was fixed straight, his hands trembling slightly as he gripped his rifle hard enough his knuckles were ghostly pale. 

Axel sighed sadly, moving to stand. "MacCready, I-"

As soon as Axel's feet hit the solid ground, MacCready bolted from his chair, holstering his rifle and snatching up his pack in one hand. "You really don't know shit, do you?" He hissed, stomping toward the door. "I'll meet you outside." 

He tried slamming the door behind him, but the wood around it was so old and moldy that it almost crumbled under his touch, splintering off and scattering on the floor around him. Axel would've probably laughed at it, groaned internally at the prospect of explaining that one to Claire. 

But now, he just felt icy numbness as he stared at the chair MacCready was sitting in not ten seconds ago. 

_Yeah, lemme just make it seem like I'm putting all the blame on you for what I started in the first place, okay MacCready? Even worse, make it sound like it was a huge mistake. Even though I'm a big boy, I know how to make my own choices. What a great morning we're having, isn't it?_

He quickly redressed, disregarding the hangover cure as he swung his pack back over his shoulders, leaving after MacCready and ignoring the burning tears hanging still in his waterline. Axel did not cry. But hell, did he really want to right now.

* * *

He almost gasped at the sudden contact with his skin as MacCready snatched his arm, yanking him away from the Boston Common. 

He wasn't looking at him when Axel turned to him, but instead at the middle of the plaza. "This is the Boston Common. Unless you like getting killed, I wouldn't get any closer."

He let go of his arm them, hand going back to grasp at his rifle and Axel had to bite his tongue to keep from verbally protesting the lack of contact before he looked down at his feet, nodding shamefully. "Oh. Okay, thanks."

MacCready only hummed in an affirmation he heard it in the first place, and Axel bit back that familiar sting as he changed his trajectory, walking on the outskirts of the plaza toward the station Ellie had said Valentine had been after. 

He stopped in front of the station, looking up at the big sign above the descending steps in mock wonder. MacCready stopped a few steps down after realizing Axel wasn't following behind, raising a petulant eyebrow but making no further comment as he waited for Axel to get a move on. "Wonder how the Commonwealth's greatest detective got himself caught by wannabe Italian mobsters," Axel offered, scrunching his eyebrows together in consideration. 

"Because he's a detective, not a merc or military general. Not everyone is a fighter out here," MacCready said flatly, leaning against the railing of the steps as he watched Axel still standing there, looking out toward the plaza again. "What're you doing?" He asked finally, curiosity getting the best of him then. 

Axel turned to him, seeming to break out of his reverie as he shook his head slowly. "Oh. Sorry, uh. It's just- this place, it was her favorite. We met here, went here on our anniversary ever since then." 

MacCready stiffened slightly at the mentioning of her again, not because he was jealous because that would be childish and unfair. But because he really didn't wanna hash up their argument again, it was still too soon and the wounds were still fresh and open for the both of them. All the same, they couldn't stay here forever. They had shit to do, and the thought of daydreaming in the middle of a post apocalyptic wasteland surrounded by ferals, raiders and Super Mutants alike really didn't seem too bright of an idea. He sighed, making enough noise standing straight on the steps that Axel looked his way. "We should get a move on. People don't normally keep their hostages alive forever."

Axel blinked once, silence. Again, and a flash of recognition shone through his eyes before he looked down, nodding. "Right. Of course. Let's go, then." 

The slight wavering of his tone, the emotion just breaking past the line between inner thought and noticeable made MacCready's heart pinch slightly. He moved out of the way for Axel to go first, staring at the back of him with almost a pitying look. He hoped he hadn't caught up on that.

Axel knew MacCready was watching him. He didn't say anything.

* * *

"I don't like having that detective just sitting pretty in them walls," a voice broke out from the otherwise silence and Axel scrunched up against the wall, stretching his arm wide and taking MacCready with him. MacCready was about to go in guns blazing, but Axel shook his head silently at them, finger on his lips as he gestured for them to listen awhile. MacCready's eyes darkened in protest, but still, he scrunched back up against the wall.

"What if he tries something?" The same voice from before continued.

"He hasn't yet," another voice sounded, gravelly and low. 

"That doesn't mean he won't," the other interjected snidely. "I mean come on, we finally catch that slimy little bastard and what does Skinny do? Locks him up, like he ain't got the balls to just kill him."

Both Axel and MacCready looked at eachother then, eyes flashing in twinning recognition. 

It's not that this 'Skinny' character doesn't have the balls to kill Valentine. It's that he doesn't _want_ to kill him.

"Don't let Skinny hear you talking like that." The other commented dryly. "I'd rather not lose another finger scrubbing someone else's guts off the walls again." 

"Ah, let 'im hear. I'd rather be dead than pledge loyalties to somebody this weak." 

"If you two don't stop yapping, I'll snuff the both of you and blame it on Tiny over here turning feral," a third voice boomed. "Now get back to your patrols."

They both grumbled, but soon footsteps shuffled away and it was just the third man left, not noticing either Axel or MacCready yet as he leaned against a post opposite the door, lighting a cigarette. 

Axel silently pulled his company knife from his hilt, flashing MacCready a look that he responded to with a nod before Axel quietly crawled over to the man, swiftly standing and smothering him with his hand as he dug his knife into the center of his spine. He pulled the body against his before it could fall to the ground and get them noticed, quickly dragging him back out the door and out of sight. He fruitlessly tried wiping at the bright red staining the front of his coat, only spreading it more before ultimately looking up at MacCready.

"So, Skinny doesn't wanna kill Valentine." MacCready huffed in agreement. "Maybe we can use that against him."

"Or, we could just kill them. They brought it on themselves, snatching Valentine like that," MacCready huffed darkly, shrugging his shoulders. 

"I'd rather much like leaving this place with my head still attached to my neck, if it's all the same to you," Axel quipped. "Plus, we're already starting to get short on stims and ammo between the two of us. I'd rather not be so wasteful."

MacCready rolled his eyes, obviously not in agreement but kept his mouth shut instead. "Whatever. You're the boss, Boss." 

Axel groaned, rolling his eyes too because out of all the things he'd argue with someone about, being tactful and _surviving_ were pretty damn non-negotiable. "Just stay close to me, alright? I'd like keeping this sneaky if we could."

* * *

There was a tripwire. A goddamn little pansy-move tripwire lined against the corner of one of the steps that MacCready accidentally fell into. Axel heard the clink of a bomb spurring to life, standing and yanking MacCready by the collar away from the steps. He fell bodily on top of him, acting as a human shield for him as the explosion sounded. He threw his arms up and over his head, shrapnel and debris blowing over the both of them and sinking into various areas of his skin, mainly targeting his arms and back. 

Well. So much for that stealthy approach. 

MacCready moved first, ignoring Axel's yelp of pain as he gripped where a piece of floor had stabbed into his arm, pushing him off of him and quickly injecting a pocketed stimpak into Axel's arm. He pushed Axel back, crouching in front of him and sniping at the many hostile triggerman racing toward them now. 

It took Axel a bit to come back from the dizzying sensation of taking a literal bomb to the back, but when he did come back, he all but ignored the jagged pieces of floor and shrapnel jutting out from his back as pushed himself up and helped MacCready shoot at the fucking _lot_ of Triggermen barreling down on them. 

They worked a lot better together than either of them did on their own. MacCready snuffed the men further away from them before they even really realized what was happening, Axel blasting bullet after bullet from his assault rifle at the ones too close for sniper range. In the heat of battle, Axel found himself crouching down behind an overturned Nuka Cola machine, far away from the steps that MacCready was still taking potshots from. 

He certainly didn't like the prospect of being so far from him, what if he or Axel took a shot and the other one wasn't there to cover them? 

But they were in a battle. He couldn't get caught up thinking about the what-ifs, or sooner than he'd know it they'd both be dead. And so he grit his teeth and pushed through, going deeper into the tunnel as the bullets kept flying. 

* * *

It was over actually before he knew it. The bullets having ceased firing, so quiet he could hear the distant humming of generators keeping that great big vault alive. He hadn't really thought about it much upon seeing it during battle, but now that things had calmed down and he'd been left some time to poke through his battle-worn fuzzy thoughts, it more than surprised him. He'd never actually heard of vaults being built inside of subway stations before the war, but he couldn't really argue with their choice of venue. 

He felt himself a little tired, and he couldn't tell if that was from his injuries or the adrenaline stilling from his battle. Still, it slowly came to his brain that it _shouldn't_ be this quiet. 

What was left of his adrenaline pumped fast as he willed himself to stand, stagger-running back through the tunnel. 

"MacCready!" His eyes widened as he didn't hear a response. He continued calling his name, fear ripping shreds in his chest, throat feeling as if he'd swallowed lava the more he wore out his vocal chords. 

"Here!" He heard a pained, weak voice echo through the tunnels, which seemed to be coming from back toward the vault. He picked up his feet as much as he could and scrambled toward the voice. "M'here.." he heard the voice mutter again and saw as a shaky, pale white hand raised from behind a bulldozer in the center of the railroad tracks. 

He bit back the trepidation in his throat, weakly sprinting with the remaining tendrils of adrenaline he had left and all but collapsed at his feet. He weakly lifted himself up, eyes going wide at the state of MacCready. 

He was panting wildly, face ashen and eyes shut tight. Axel followed his arm down to where it was clutching against his right side, just below his ribs. Crimson red was bubbling and seeping through the cracks in his fingers. "Last sonuvabitch...he go'mme," MacCready mumbled weakly, trying to let out a laugh but fell into a fit of coughs, groaning in pain and going even paler than before. 

"Shit, shit, okay." Axel willed his brain to work through the exhaustion his own wounds were shooting through him. He reached down, cupping his hand over MacCready's palm, gently pulling at it. "Let me see?" 

MacCready took in a pained breath, weakly lifting his hand and hissing as the dirty air filtered into the gaping hole in his flannel. Axel slowly picked at the ruined fabric, pulling it to get a better look at the wound and wincing in sympathy at the small tearing noise as it had already begun sticking to the wound. Axel groaned when he'd caught a full sight of the wound-a large chunk of his skin where the bullet had entered was missing, just below his ribs. The wound had dug deep enough that he could see a sort of his rib bone under his skin, his bottom-most two completely shattered. As lucky as luck could have it in this situation, Axel couldn't see any hint of a bullet anywhere and when he examined further, did in fact see it's point of exit on his other side. 

MacCready let his head loll on his shoulders, blinking blearily at the wound as if this was the first time he'd seen it too. "Ow," he responded shortly, smacking his head back against the wheel he was leaning against. 

"Why aren't you wearing your duster?" Axel hissed, already lugging his pack-heavier now due to his own injuries wearing him down-closer to him so he could retrieve stimpaks and cloth to apply as a tourniquet.

"Fell off..after that..bomb. When you-ripped me outta the way," MacCready ground out through clenched teeth, nerves making his hips jerk as Axel pressed cloth _hard_ against his ribs. He whined pitifully. 

Axel winced sympathetically but didn't release any pressure-he _couldn't_ unless he wanted MacCready to successfully bleed out right in front of him. He did take off one hand to reach for a stimpak though, uncapping it with his teeth and eyes flicking momentarily to MacCready's before stabbing it right into the skin under the corner of his ribs. MacCready jerked more violently that time, nearly nudging the needle out and Axel had to almost lay on top of him to get him to stay still. He heard the tell-tale click as the contents of the stimpak were emptied, and he leaned back up on his knees, gently lifting the gauze tourniquet to peek at his wound. He sighed happily as he saw his rib bones already beginning to form back together, skin not necessarily closing but bleeding coming to a halt, hardening so that infection would be near impossible. Axel let out an exhausted breath, tying off the wound with a thick layer of gauze and slumping to rest his head against the wheel next to MacCready. He looked over, watching as relief washed over MacCready's face, eyes losing that hazy glare and color coming back to his skin. 

He blinked those pretty blues once, turning toward Axel with a look of determination once the delirium had settled. "Okay, now you." 

Axel had ultimately ended up basically laying over the top of MacCready's legs, head supported by the cushion of his thigh as MacCready began plucking the broken shards of tile and shrapnel from his back, muttering soft apologies every time one that had sunk a little too deep was forcefully ripped from his skin. He numbly felt as a stimpak was pressed into his back near his spine, flinching only slightly as his exhaustion swam deep in his bones. 

MacCready sat back against the wheel, head lolling on the top of it as he rolled to peer at the vault door just around the corner from where they sat. "We're not even close to being done, are we?"

"Mm-mm," Axel muttered out, because that was about all his exhaustion would allow. 

"Guess we better take a little break 'afore we go in there. Let the meds, you know," MacCready cut himself off abruptly, eyes already closing on their own volition. 

"Mmhm," Axel mumbled distantly, and just like that, both men let themselves fall victim to their exhaustion-Axel still sprawled across MacCready's legs and MacCready's left hand still draped on top of Axel's back.

* * *

"Well, I'd say I'm pleased to be rescued, but you lot look about ready to pass out on your feet." 

Axel gaped at the man-robot-machine man thing standing in front of him, large holes in his neck and the hand that was holding a cigarette to his "lips" completely void of any protective metal and was simply an array of screws and bolts. 

Valentine blinked skeptically toward the guy literally transfixed by him, bright yellow eyes trailing up to fix MacCready with a questioning glare. MacCready only smirked, shrugging one shoulder. "He's new," he merely supplied, nodding toward the direction of the Pip-Boy hanging off his loose limb. 

Valentine took one look at the Pip-Boy and hummed in realization, blinking toward the guy. "It's a little hard to explain, but I'm sure you can probably tell I'm a robot. A synth, the term they use these days. Artificial intelligence built solely for the purpose of invasion and conquering. Made self aware, but I was just too old a prototype to send others after. I'm sure you'll hear more about my kind the longer you're out here, but we don't got a lot of time right now. What brings you both here?"

"We-" Axel blinked languidly as if he were in a dream, swallowing thickly. "Your-your secretary, Ellie. She sent us here, said you were in trouble. I need your-help, my..son is missing." 

"Hmm," Valentine hummed thoughtfully, tossing his barely used cigarette to the floor and stomping on it. "Well, seeing as we can get out of here with our lives still intact, I'd say you're more than owed a favor from me. Shall we?" 

Valentine stocked proudly out of the room, Axel staring still wide-eyed at his form before his eyes fell on MacCready, who looked like he was desparately trying to hold in a laugh. He merely shrugged a shoulder at him. "Told you it'd make sense when you met him," he muttered with humor in his tone before turning and following Valentine out the door. 

Axel, miraculously getting his feet to begin moving, plucked the Vault-Tech bobblehead off the desk in the room before turning after the two. "No shit," he mumbled under his breath.

* * *

When Axel, Nick and MacCready had finally pushed their way through the rest of the vault and came face-to-face with Al Capone himself, Axel realized that his earlier 'Italian mobster wannabes' comment was putting it lightly. These guys were really fucking insane. Or; putting it as generously as he could, far too dedicated to their craft.

"Nicky, what the hell are you doing? Bursting though my home, killing my guys. I let you live, didn't I?" 

"I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for your two-timing dame, Skinny. Should tell her to call home more often." 

"Oh, what's the matter, Valentine? Ashamed you got beat up by a girl? I should just run on home to daddy, should I?" 

"Shoulda left it alone, Nicky. Things have changed, and in this Vault, I'm King of the Castle, you hear me?"

Axel could've vomited. Or laughed. Or both. 

"I told you we should have just killed him! But then you had to get all sentimental, all that talk about the good old days." The woman Valentine was after, Darla sneered. She was wearing this long, blue sequin dress and her hair was done in such a way that she looked a couple eras before even Axel's time. 

"Darla, I'm handling this! Skinny Malone's always got things under control."

"Oh yeah, then what's this guy doing here, huh?" It took Axel a while from his absolute shock and barely-contained laughter at the over-the-top dramatics going on in front of him to realize Darla was talking about him. "Valentine probably brought him here to snuff us all out."

Axel cleared his throat in an attempt to hide his smirk, but the smile in his voice gave him away. "Look, as fucking insane all this shit is, I'm not here to kill anyone. Anyone else, anyway." He turned to Skinny, Mama Murphy's drugged out chant finally making sense now as he sighed. "Skinny. Remember the Quarry. Lily June on the rocks." 

Skinny looked positively taken aback, lips parting as a shocked sigh erupted from his throat. "How...how did you know about that?" His face turned a completely shade of red, and he let out an exasperated groan as he dripped his rifle to rest against this thigh. "Alright, Nicky. You and your friend here have ten seconds to get the hell out of my vault. After that, I don't care much what happens to any of you." 

"What? You're just gonna let him go?" Darla sputtered, turning her wrath toward Skinny. "My daddy was right about you. I should never have left with you!" She dropped her bat in a huff, heels clonking against the floor comically as she stomped off toward the vault exit. 

"One," Skinny said darkly as his attentions were brought back to Valentine. 

"C'mon, we'd better split. Don't wanna be here when he gets to one, trust me," Valentine said, heading toward the exit. 

MacCready was thoroughly disappointed, but followed Valentine and Axel out the exit anyway. After he'd made it a point to jog back up to where his duster was still laying discarded at the top of the stairs.

* * *

"So, a missing kid, you say?" Valentine drawled as soon as they'd all climbed up the manhole out of the tunnels. "Tell you what. You helped me out, so I wanna do the same. Why don't you come meet me at my office back in Diamond City? Give me all the juicy details." 

Axel looked back to MacCready, who was leaning against the wall of a building next to where they'd escaped, not even looking in their direction. In fact, he looked terribly bored of the situation, as if he'd rather be anywhere than here by Axel's side. He turned back to Valentine, nodding. "Sure, yeah. We'll meet you there."

"We're not just gonna follow him there?" MacCready's voice interjected from his spot, but Axel didn't look toward him.

"We'll see you back there?" He gave a pointed look to Valentine, whose glance only flicked minutely toward MacCready's direction like he knew all there was to know about the fight between the two. Which, given his profession and how good he was at it, he probably did. 

"Yeah, sure. See you there," Valentine muttered, and then he was off, leaving the two alone in an insufferable silence. 

Axel was the first to make a move, sighing as he turned to face MacCready. "MacCready, we need to talk." 

"Nah, Boss. Don't think we do." 

Axel sighed, stepping closer to MacCready now who flinched, but didn't turn away. "Look, MacCready, it hasn't even been five hours and I'm already going insane with this back-and-forth ignoring eachother routine. That's never happened this early before, that has to mean something." 

"There's a lot of things that should have meant something to someone, Boss. Doesn't always work the way things should." 

Axel stopped, bristling at that because as far as he was concerned, MacCready was the one trying to distance himself far away from what happened between them. "You're really one to talk. From them minute I woke up this morning, you've changed. Didn't even wanna stick around to talk, running away, barely talking to me unless one of us is on the brink of death. What happened should've made us closer, not created an even bigger rift between us!" 

"You didn't just wake up once, Boss." MacCready's voice was still firm, but the venom in it was replaced with something softer, almost sad. "You were up early. Cuddling all up to me, playing with my hair. Loved it. Made me feel good. Then you said it." 

Axel's blood ran cold at the realization that that stint he'd had with dream Nota truly wasn't a dream. He shuddered, taking a deep, sad breath in. "MacCready," he whined pitifully, realizing there wasn't anything he could say to fix _that._

"You said her _name,_ Axel. You said her name and I can't blame you for that, and I want to, I want to have a reason to hate you so that pretending to be mad at you, or worse, just being around you...Being so close to you, it wouldn't hurt so bad. But I don't. I don't hate you." MacCready stopped short, looking down at his feet as his voice was all too sad now, taking a deep breath. "You're not ready for this, Boss. And-and that's okay. Really. I can get over that. I didn't wanna..wanna keep pressuring you when it's obvious you don't want this-want _me._ So I gave you the cold shoulder, tried to pretend enough that it would all melt away but you of course saw right through that."

Axel's shuddered immensely under the admission, the two of them so close now he could feel MacCready's breath tickling the tips of his fingers. "I'm sorry, MacCready." He looked up then, eyes such a different, vibrant and beautiful blue color this close as they stared into his. "I made it sound like I was putting the blame all on you, like it was some mistake-some big problem. But I'm a big boy, Mac. I might have been a little buzzed but I _promise,"_ he paused, reaching out and grabbing Mac's hand before even asking permission and planting it palm-up on his chest, "I promise that every single choice I made I made it willingly.

"And you're wrong." MacCready stared at him, brows etching in confusion. "You built this idea in your head that because I slipped up, made that mistake, that I didn't want you. Didn't want any of it. And so you made that decision for me and pretended that it didn't mean anything. But it did. You can't make the right decision for me, Mac, because goddamn," he whispered, leaning so closely now that their foreheads were resting against each other, Mac's eyes closed as his breath washed in hot waves against Axel's face that had him shivering like mad. He brought a finger up, tracing the top outline of Mac's lips, watching his impossibly long eyelashes flutter wild against his cheekbones and licking his lips, "goddamn, I want you so bad it _hurts."_

And then before Axel knew it, he was being grabbed and shoved against the brick wall behind him, MacCready's lips biting hard into his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you can tell what the trigger warning's gonna be for the next chapter, can't you? 😉  
> I was just looking over this chapter after I published it to look for any errors because I'm far too stupid to do it before it's out there in public, and I realized this fic's at 20 kudos already! Thank you so much guys, I know I say it a lot but y'all are so lovely. You don't know how much it means to me. It's good to smile nowadays, specially because I'm a poor little American in my struggling American world.  
> Honestly though, thank you so much for everything, guys. I love you all and have an excellent rest of your day ♥️


	8. NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised this a couple chapters back if the whole kissing thing was well received, and y'all delivered tenfold. Posting this the same day as the last chapter as an extra thank you for all the love you guys have shown this fic <3 you all  
> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> Straight up Porn, no plot. Smut only in this filler chapter. No angst, nothing but smut and cuddling afterwards. If y'all aren't comfortable with smut, no problem! Just disregard this chapter and read on when I post the next!  
> For those of you sticking around, the povs will constantly be changing and it was kinda hard for me to really pinpoint who was doing what, but tbh I kinda liked it more that way.  
> Mac aint normally one to be on the bottom, but oooof the way Axel moved had him weak lmao  
> Thank you all, again!  
> Also please be gentle. I've never really been that great at smut writing but I promised and well-I try my hardest not to break promises :)  
> Also also: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkcPOkXG9XstZl_9uEUFkPziHrGZbm3uj  
> I listened to this playlist shamelessly while writing this ;)

Looking back, they at least had the decency and know-how not to completely smog each other where they could both be so very rudely interrupted by death. They could barely pull themselves off each other long enough to find the first shelter with a bed so they wouldn't have to fuck on the wall or dirty floor, but they managed it somehow. 

As soon as Axel had torn off his shirt, discarding them in the growing clothes pile next to the mattress and MacCready had slipped out of his shoes, Axel pushed him determinedly back against the mattress, taking dominance as he straddled Mac under him. He started by peppering kisses against his lips, MacCready happily obliging as his tongue darted into Axel's mouth, taking in the pleasant taste of Nuka Cola, peppermint gum, and every other taste that mixed to make Axel Axel. He moaned lowly as Axel pulled away from his mouth, hooking MacCready's bottom lip with his teeth and dragging it away from him. Axel immediately dipped his head, tongue sliding hot against MacCready's soft, cold skin. MacCready shivered, gasping as Axel laid claim to the spot just below the lobe of his ear, biting down hard on the flesh and sucking his skin in his mouth. MacCready sighed, not too sure what to do with his hands and ultimately deciding to wrap his arms around Axel's bare back, nails digging into his flesh as Axel let go of his skin with a small _pop._ His hot kisses trailed slowly across the surface of his neck, stopping in the center only to trail lower, on his chest now as he leaned over, laying chaste kisses against his pecs as he continued, lower, lower, _lower,_ until things became all to familiar as his lips stopped just above the waistband of MacCready's jeans. 

MacCready was never a very patient man, and restraint never ever stuck well with him. He glared approvingly at Axel's hooded green eyes, and a smile stretched across those sea greens as Axel ripped his belt off, undoing his belt hungrily and tugging his pants down and off his ankles. MacCready all but pulled him back to his spot between MacCready's legs, whining pitifully as Axel's eyes teased over MacCready's length, already hard and threatening to rip the seams of his boxers. Axel smirked, eyes impossibly dark as his hands slapped hard against MacCready's inner thighs, spreading his legs open wide as he maneuvered one leg in between them, leaning down and spreading passionate kisses against the newly inflamed skin of his thighs, other leg hooking around MacCready's bare ankle and trapping it with his foot as his lips arched further up, up, up, until his breath wavered dangerously warm over MacCready's length. 

Axel, being far too gentlemanly for MacCready's liking, constantly sought approval before he made any moves. Before he was able to toss MacCready that calculated look again, MacCready beat him to the punch and grasped hold of Axel's hands and planting them just above the waistband of his boxers. He hooked a thumb under them, helping Axel push them down but Axel soon overtook him, taking MacCready's hand and laying wet, hot kisses over any surface of skin he could find while still sliding MacCready's boxers, _painstakingly_ slow, down off his member. The fabric of his boxers caught on the hardness of MacCready's length, startling the both of them before Axel chuckled lowly, incredibly arousing as he let go of MacCready's hand, now free hand gripping the other side of MacCready's waistband and gently pulling them down. 

Axel positively _purred_ at the sight of MacCready's cock, the very sound from his lips making MacCready's toes curl against the dirty cotton mattress. His hips jerked as Axel very suddenly and without warning took hold of his cock, hand running very slowly down his shaft. "Hmm, you were ready for me, weren't you?"

MacCready couldn't find enough breath to answer him vocally, whatever breaths he was taking were in gasps as Axel continued to stroke his shaft, squeezing down slightly every now and again. The most he could do was moan in need, curling his toes against the skin of Axel's calves and digging his nails into the flesh of his chest and back. Axel chuckled, that low, dark sound again sending shivers down his spine as he leaned down, lips ever so close to MacCready's skin. His lips made contact with his shaft, close to the tip, and MacCready's hips jerked again as he leaned up, skin absolutely craving the touch of those soft, cold lips against him. Axel grabbed MacCready's hips, grinding them against his own as MacCready let out the most beautiful groan Axel had ever heard. That wasn't precisely what MacCready expected, but he certainly wasn't complaining, biting down hard on his bottom lips as Axel's own bulge rubbed against his skin. 

MacCready found his hands working on their own as he pawed at the front of Axel's jeans, tugging at the belt and Axel stopped his movement almost immediately and pushed off of him, standing up off the mattress. Much to the dismay of MacCready, who whined at the loss of contact. Axel looked up at him, playful smirk over those plump, pink lips, face flush with arousal as his eyes loomed hungrily over MacCready's sprawled form and it almost made MacCready spill out right then and there under his hungry glare. MacCready, again, was nowhere near patient enough for this and when MacCready wanted something, he'd get it. He made to sit up, tried grasping against Axel and pull him back down on top of him, but Axel only pushed his hands away, pressing him roughly back against the mattress as that pretty pretty smirk never left his lips. "Patience," he whispered against MacCready's ear, hot breaths cascading down MacCready's shoulder pleasurably as he tongued against the already bruising spot of skin on his neck. He pulled away again, MacCready biting his tongue against his whines of protest, watching as Axel never broke eye contact with him as he undid his belt buckle, pulling it off his jeans and his hands worked _slow_ at the button holding his pants, the zipper being forced down and MacCready wouldn't dare look away as Axel hooked his hands under the top of his jeans, slowly pulling them down to show the massive length in his tight boxers-almost clinging to him under the twitching bulge in his pants. MacCready smirked smugly at his arousal, deep blue eyes finally tearing away from Axel's cock and looking up to his own pair of luminescent greens, Axel returning MacCready's smug smirk with a cocked eyebrow, equally as intrigued as his hand slowly trailed down, intent on touching himself and _hell no,_ MacCready wasn't having that. He sprung up, ignoring the pull of his torso from the wound he'd received as he grasped Axel's wrist tightly, ripping him back over on top of him on the bed. 

He immediately tore the offending fabric from Axel's dick as he smiled, face lighting up in obvious arousal as he eyed his size, and Axel moaned happily under that beautiful face staring at him with pleasure etched into every corner of his face. MacCready's soft, impossibly hot hand lifted up, groping against the flesh of his member and Axel hissed in a breath, eyes closing tightly at the contact. MacCready mimicked Axel's prior movements on his own member, but the touches were so gentle, so deserving, so heavy with need and pleasure that Axel could feel him losing control over himself. MacCready was _definitely_ well versed in the act of pleasuring someone, of that Axel was certain. 

He'd show MacCready just how versed he was, too. 

Before even letting out a voice of warning, Axel leaned down, taking MacCready into his mouth. MacCready gasped, breath shuddering and fast as his hips bounced off the bed, leaning as much of him as he could into Axel's mouth. His hands dropped off Axel's cock, coming up to tangle deep into Axel's long hair. Axel chuckled lowly against MacCready's length, tongue slicking hot against the bottom of his shaft and when his tongue made contact with MacCready's tip, he shivered as he could taste the small drips against his tongue. With newfound confidence and purpose, Axel sucked hard against MacCready's tip, thrusting his mouth further, then back, then further against his dick, one hand coming up and grasping whatever he couldn't fit in his mouth, jerking against the exposed skin in time with the thrusts as he massaged his balls between his fingers. 

Even if they were in a public area, MacCready would've shamelessly cried out against the movements, on the cusp of letting free and almost determined to make sure Axel would feel it too as his hands hungrily grabbed at Axel's cock, stroking him pleasurably and thumb trailing slow, deliberate circles around the tip. Axel moaned against MacCready and _fuck_ did MacCready _love_ the way that felt. Axel, with MacCready still in his mouth, trailed his free hand to ghost over MacCready's hand, helping him jerk in rapid, strong movements against his own cock and MacCready smirked through the overwhelming arousal he was feeling, other hand untangling from Axel's hair and adding extra pressure and Axel realized he most definitely didn't need to keep his guiding hand there anymore, feeling his limbs tingling and steadily growing heavier under the arousal threatening to burst in him. His hands resumed their ministrations against MacCready's cock, grinding his own hips against the surface of those perfect, practiced hands of his and closed his eyes over the lovely overstimulation they brought him. He sucked desperately at MacCready's length, the cold skin of his front teeth dragging against his shaft and he felt as MacCready shivered under him, moaning again in a way that told him he'd had him right where he wanted him. 

"Ax, I, I'm gonna.."

Axel smirked against MacCready's length, nodding as his hands left MacCready's length, pressing against the skin of his inner thighs as he braced himself against him. When MacCready weakly lifted his head to peer down at those beautiful green eyes staring straight into his, his lovely perfect lips pressed against his own length, he let out a long groan and let himself free with a long, languid whine.

Axel hummed against his dick as he released, swallowing almost greedily against him as his cum filled his cheeks, load after load released into his mouth, the last few drips licked clean from his tip by Axel's tongue. MacCready's member went limp in his mouth, Axel finally letting it free as it fell against the mattress with a thud. One look at MacCready's beautiful, exposed and spent form sprawled out underneath him had him jerking only minutely against his cock, already ready to let free but that extra edge had him spilling into his own hand with a barely contained shout. MacCready watched Axel's orgasm with half-lidded eyes, exhausted and pleasured beyond measure as Axel's head arched back, beautiful lips parted as he came into his hand with the most beautiful moan. He hummed appreciatively when Axel's eyes met his again, closing them against his spent-ness and folding his hands gently over his bare chest. 

He felt as the mattress dipped underneath him, but didn't open his eyes. He heard Axel's bare feet padding against the stone of the building they'd 'shacked'-he chuckled languidly at his own pun-up in, rustling ensuing as Axel rifled in his pack for something. He heard his footsteps come back toward him, then merely twitched as something wet and cold was draped over his lower body, wiping him clean. MacCready forced his eyes open, exhaling in pleasure as he watched Axel wipe his own cock clean, running the wetted cloth against his hand one more time before he threw it against the floor, it making a wet slapping sound that Axel curled his lip in trite disgust at before he heaved a big sigh, MacCready feeling the mattress dip again under the weight of Axel's body as he draped a large wool blanket from his pack over the two of them.

He'd only actually slept in the same bed as Axel one other time, but in that time he'd realized Axel really liked being the big spoon. MacCready was happy to oblige, not only because of the spectacular performance he'd just graced him with, but because something about being held by Axel, those strong, big arms wrapped around him and hugging him close into the warmth his body let off, was more than enough for MacCready. 

"Hmm," Axel hummed, exhaustion tugging at the end of his tone that MacCready more than related with. "That was...," he paused, and MacCready had the actual urge to almost feel ashamed that he hadn't done enough until he felt Axel shift beside him, head burrowing under his ear again as he pressed a languid kiss to his skin. "That was perfect, MacCready. Thank you."

MacCready huffed in agreement, huge yawn into the back of his hand. "RJ," he trailed off without thinking. 

"What?"

Well, he was already in the shit now. Might as well keep going. "My first name. Stands for Robert Joseph." It was uncomfortably quiet for a long time and MacCready forced his eyes open again, surprised that Axel's bright green eyes were boring into him with pure intrigue. Others he'd told his name to liked to laugh, poke fun at him for the name. 

But not Axel.

"It suits you," he finally offered, eyes completely serious as he ran his knuckles against MacCready's cheekbones, caressing his face as he rubbed his hands softly against his skin. "It's perfect for you, RJ."

Something bubbled warmly in his stomach as his name slipped out of his lips, and he exhaled pleasantly. "You keep touching me like that, I'm gonna fall asleep on you."

Axel chuckled, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Then sleep, RJ." His hands resumed their ministrations stroking his face. "You've earned it."

And so MacCready went, the lasting feeling of Axel's soft, caring and incredibly endearing touches sending him into the most peaceful sleep he'd had in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, remember how I said in the tags that this was gonna be a slow burn?  
> I fuckin' lied lmaooo


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty sure there aren't any TWs in this one.Mac and Ax are gonna take a break from constantly getting shot and stabbed and head off to meet the rest of the family.  
> Don't know if it'll be more than a two chapter deal, and I honestly don't know if there's going to be any heavy elements in that spill. Angst, probably, because what else is new? But definitely fluff.  
> EDIT: Actually no jk, this chapter specifically is gonna be angsty and there's gonna be an implied past child death here as well. But it gets better later. And this chapter is also filled with fluff and my shitty attempt at humor, so chin up loves!

"Our personalities are startlingly opposite, RJ." 

He'd taken to using his first name so easily he almost regretted telling it to him in the first place. 

Oh wait. There's the butterflies. No, no he didn't. 

"Was there a point to that, or are you just always inclined to pointing out the obvious?"

"By all known laws of chick-flick literature, we should not work," Axel enunciated, tapping the rim of his glasses purposefully.

Axel didn't _need_ glasses. Or maybe he did. He'd never worn them before, but MacCready woke up this morning to him donning the things while sifting through some half-burnt reading material. 

He half believed Axel only wore them to make himself seem smarter. And MacCready, dumber. Maybe it's the whole physical part of this whole "we're too different" act.

Either way, it annoyed MacCready to no end. ~~He was also so fuckin' sexy in them.~~

"What's with the glasses?" MacCready asked, because he was really not up to this cat and mouse game Axel was playing with himself.

"Well; that should be pretty simple, shouldn't it? They're certainly not for fashion. I mean, they're Santa Claus glasses!" 

"San-nna-whosit?" 

Axel gasped dramatically, hand clutching his chest. "Oh, you poor uncultured species. What wonders you have been deprived of."

MacCready groaned. He liked the man well enough but he still has yet to find the off switch on him. "Would you drop the act and tell me what's going on already?" 

"Tsk, tsk. Such an impatient young man. Yet another personality trait that doesn't fit in our puzzle." Axel sighed, one hand pinching his bottom lip between his fingers as they walked. "We shouldn't work," his voice trailed off, almost completely serious. 

"As you've said since my eyes opened this morning. When are you gonna stop saying that?"

"When it starts making sense," his tone was 100% serious now. "Nora and I were alike. Maybe too alike. It felt fake, but it wasn't. It felt..normal. This-" he gestured between the two of them, "I'm not even sure what to call us yet, but whatever we are, it feels _real._ Like, _really_ real. And it scares me a little bit, if I'm being honest. It's like, the more I'm comfortable with our thing, the more I'm regretting the other thing." 

"Do you want to stop?" He'd meant it as a sincere suggestion, a caution, although he couldn't help but let a little emotion slip into his tone.

"Oh _God_ no," warmth bubbled in MacCready's stomach at how he didn't even hesitate with his reply. "No, I'm having an absolute blast, don't get me wrong. It just-" he sighed, swaying his head side to side in consideration, "it's new, and it's weird, and it's against everything I've been told about what love is supposed to be like." 

MacCready halted at the word 'love.' He almost hoped it was just another one of his 'dead-wife name calling' kind of slip-ups. He had no idea what any of this stuff between them was, but to call it love over a desperate need for companionship this early wasn't necessarily his ideal.

"Well there's your first problem," MacCready finally scoffed, coming back to his senses. Axel turned toward him, eyebrow raised. "You can't just live your life based off of what others tell you. Nobody really knows what things are like until they experience it, and no two people experience things the exact same way."

"Huh," Axel hummed thoughtfully, tapping the brim of his glasses again. "Maybe we aren't so socially incompatible, after all."

"Whatever," Axel really liked hearing the sound of his own voice, he'd more than convinced MacCready of that. "We going to see Valentine today?"

"In a bit," Axel offered, pulling off his glasses to wipe the glass clean with his sleeve. "First, I got a couple things I need to pick up, and I think it's time you meet a couple people."

"What kind of people?" MacCready hinted sardonically.

Axel scoffed, flicking the brim of MacCready's hat. "Mind the skeptics, RJ. I don't keep company with shady and otherwise shitty people."

MacCready scowled, resituating his hat on his head before he shrugged. "You seem to be palling around with me just fine." 

"Nonsense, MacCready! You're only shady and shitty when you want to be." 

And then he was running off before MacCready could punch him, maniacal giggle both infectious and infuriating.

* * *

They were making this trek to wherever all in one day, no stopping and Mac had half a mind to shoot Axel in the foot to get him to stop walking with such a pep in his step.

"Oh, quit whining you big baby. We're almost there," he'd replied when Mac complained _again_ about his feet fucking hurtin' and his stomach made its own complaint along with him. 

"You've been saying that for the past hour," Mac grumbled. The unrelenting sun shining down on them, coating Mac's hair and arms in sweat was admittedly making him more peevish than normal. "If you're expecting me to meet these people of yours with a smile in my face, you wasted that opportunity about two and a half hours ago."

"That's remarkably specific," Axel quipped, reaching behind him and holding out a helping of radstag jerky to him. "I promise though, we're almost there. See that rocket sign in the distance there?" MacCready greedily stuffed a whole handful of the jerky in his mouth before he looked to where he was pointing. 

"Yeah, what's so-"

"Don't talk with your mouth full, MacCready. Didn't your mother ever tell you that?"

"Never had one," he'd said it nonchalantly, like it didn't matter much because out here, in the wastes, if you actually had a functioning family, you were luckier than most. But Axel still halted momentarily, fixing him with a pitying look before looking away at the insistence that he didn't want to explain etched in MacCready's eyes. "Sides," he continued ~~after he'd swallowed his mouthful~~ , "I don't need a woman figure in my life when I'm stuck hanging out with you." 

Axel scoffed into a chuckle, giving him a lovetap on his shin with his foot. "Please, you're definitely the woman in this thing we've got going on." 

MacCready sputtered, pride hurt and that's the worst thing to hurt. "Excuse you?" 

Axel tossed him a smirk, half-lidded eyes over his shoulder, jabbing a finger into his own chest. "Big spoon, dominance, leader, you _coming_ at my beck and call? That's me."

"Bed behavior doesn't mean anything, especially when you're the one that forced your way to the top anyway," MacCready retorted half-heartedly, face growing even more red under the well-placed scrutiny. 

Axel chuckled, slowing slightly so they were walking side to side and shoving MacCready's arm gently. "I'm just fucking with you big guy, let's not blow a gasket yeah?" 

"You're forcing me to be social on an empty stomach, aching feet, half dead walking. Not to mention the sweat. I'm _swimming_ in _myself_. I believe I've more than earned the right to be cranky." 

"You'll be okay," he'd said it like he meant it before coming to an abrupt stop. MacCready stopped too, giving him a pointed look. Axel smiled, nodding his head out in front of him. "We're home."

MacCready turned, looking in front of him and gaping at the gigantic gated entrance leering intimidatingly at them from over a half-sagged bridge. Turrets were almost everywhere around the front entrance, more off to the side resting on tall, wooden pillars. The front gate extended upwards to a gatehouse on top, corners jutting out so that an army of combat armor cladded settlers could keep watch over the area. 

He almost didn't want to move. 

Axel noticed his hesitance, chuckling and taking hold of his hand, tugging him along. "C'mon, big guy. Let's get you somewhere you can kick your feet up, yeah?"

MacCready barely had any response to that, still gaping at the beast of an entrance to the place. "You don't uh," he swallowed as his feet made their first contact with the wooded bridge, "you don't really entertain much, do you?" 

Axel smiled almost sadly, shaking his head. "Uh, no. I guess word got out that I decided to be the general of the minutemen fast, and since the minutemen pride themselves on helping those being beat down, the ones doing the beating took it a little personally. We hadn't taken the fort yet, so Sanctuary was pretty much all we had in way of some big hub. It-got pretty ugly pretty fast. These people weren't going to last much longer without help. So, I may have overcompensated a little bit." He smiled wide at MacCready's stunned expression. "Good to know it has the desired effect, though."

"Yeah, no kiddin-wait!" MacCready ripped his hand from Axel's grasp as one of the armor cladded settlers set their rifle sights on him, raising his hands high above his head. "I'm with-I'm with him!" He gestured emphatically toward Axel. "Don't shoot." 

"Relax," Axel whispered, giving MacCready's hip a squeeze. "It's okay, Jun. He's one of us."

Maybe Axel didn't notice it, but MacCready sure did when it took Jun a beat too long to set his rifle back down by his leg. "Sorry, Axel. Can never be too careful." 

"I usually don't cart people back to Sanctuary that I don't trust, Jun," Axel said, almost scolding as he looked at MacCready's ashen expression with concern. "Hey, you alright? Sorry about that, he's just doing his-"

"It's fine," MacCready cut him off in a stern tone, hands almost glued to his sides. "Think I need a nap." 

The worried look he was casting MacCready only intensified. "Mac, you can talk to me-"

"And I can talk to you when we're in a bed, yeah?" 

Axel stood still, flustered as his eyes flickered in heavy concern over MacCready's features. Sure, it might've spooked him a bit, but he had to know he wasn't in danger here. He had to know Axel would never lead him to danger willingly, didn't he? 

Whatever seemed to be bothering him, he certainly wasn't ready to talk about it here, if anywhere. So, Axel only sighed, wrapping a hand comfortingly around his forearm and coaxing them forward. "Yeah, you can take my bed. The barrack space is always kinda touch-and-go with all the new settlers and traveling merchants dropping off here for a night or two." Of course, he was sure MacCready knew the real reason he didn't want him near the barracks, and it had nothing to do with overpopulation. And everything to do with the fact that there were just as many people like Jun there. 

And MacCready didn't tell Axel that he was there when Jun's son died.

* * *

It certainly didn't help matters that as soon as MacCready stepped foot into Axel's 'house,' he was greeted with a mutt baring his teeth and growling at him. 

"Dogmeat!" Alex scolded, and immediately the dog shut up, plopping down to rest next to Axel's legs as he kept his beady, intense gaze on MacCready. 

"If that's a sign above everything, I'm not very welcome here." MacCready said, voice wavering with tightly-veiled exhaustion and frustration. 

Axel tilted his head, brows knitting together in two parts concern, one part confusion. "What, with Dogmeat? Nah, don't worry about it. He's like that with everyone. He just about bit Hancock's hand off when they first met. Of course, Hancock did note it wouldn't be the first limb he'd lost. I'm still too scared to ask him exactly what he meant by that." Axel shook his head in solidarity before regarding MacCready with a determined glance. "Sit on the floor."

"What?!" MacCready exclaimed incredulously. "So he can make me Hancock's twin and tear my face off? Nah Ax, I'll pass." 

Axel rolled his eyes. "And you call me dramatic. He's a sweetheart under all that bark, believe me. He likes it when people are eye-level with him. Don't ask me why. Guess you're not this angry, scowling beast towering over him that way. Except for that scowl. There'll always be that scowl." Axel added sarcastically, smirk tugging at his lips but none of it really seemed to dissuade MacCready into taking a step closer into the house. He sighed. "Mac, do you trust me?" 

That, at least, is a question MacCready didn't even have to think about. Because he did trust Axel, no matter what, flaws and all. He trusted him so much he was willing to bet his life on him. He nodded. "Yeah." 

Axel smiled brightly, nodding toward the floor. "Then sit down. And ditch the hat, so he can see those pretty eyes of yours." 

The blush creeped slowly onto his cheeks at the flirtatious remark, but he was too focused on not making any sudden movements to comment on it. Slowly, never breaking eye contact with those beady black beans, he kicked one leg out in front of him, the other soon following until he was sitting cross-legged on the floor, cautiously reaching up and stripping himself of his hat, running a conscious hand through his locks before he put his hands back down on the ground beside him. 

Axel looked down at Dogmeat, flicking his wrist toward MacCready. "Okay." 

And then Dogmeat was bounding at MacCready so fast he couldn't do anything but let out a startled yelp. Mentally preparing for the thing's teeth to sink into his jugular, he was more than pleasantly surprised when his tongue came flying form his mouth, lapping his face eagerly. MacCready, still too stunned to really react, could merely lift a shaky hand and run it across the fur of his back as he was slowly being suffocated by the weight of the thing and the tongue attempting to smother him with affection. 

Axel, enjoying himself too much for MacCready's liking, laughed heartily before stepping closer. "Alright, Dogmeat. That's enough." Immediately, Dogmeat climbed off MacCready, sitting on the floor next to his feet and staring at him, tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth as his tail wagged emphatically.

MacCready shifted his gaze to Axel, who was regarding him with a barely contained chuckle. "Y'alright there, Big Guy? Gotta say, this bears a striking resemblance to how we first met. Didn't hit your head again, did you?" 

MacCready sighed, dropping his head back on the ground and letting his arms fall limply at his sides. "You could've at least given me some kind of warning." 

Axel scoffed. "To be honest, I thought he was just gonna come up and get a good whiff of you first. That's what he did with everyone else, at least. He must really like you." As if Dogmeat understood, he let out a happy boof and stood, walking in circles around MacCready before settling back down beside him. Axel beamed at the sight. "Congratulations, MacCready. You've both passed the Dogmeat test, and stole my dog. I'll never be able to pry him away from you."

MacCready sighed dramatically. "Great," he mumbled, rolling his head on the floor to get a good look at Dogmeat. He had to admit, he _was_ pretty cute. Duncan had always wanted a German Shepherd. Maybe, when he gets better some day, he could come down here and see him-what the fuck was he doing? MacCready was never one to think much about the future, he had too much shit going on day by day to even start. But now, _now_ he was delving subconsciously right in to planning out his entire future, and it involved Dogmeat. And the Commonwealth. And bringing Duncan to the Commonwealth. And staying here. And staying here with Axel. And Dogmeat. And waking up next to Axel every day, tangled up in the mess of their son's limbs, Duncan's little feet kicking against Axel's head-

Goddammit. He was doing it again. 

He gave Dogmeat a scratch behind his ears before sitting up with a slight wince, muscles weary and sore from a full day of traveling. Axel seemed to notice his discomfort right away, features flashing a hint of guilt before he stepped forward, offering MacCready a hand up which he took gladly. 

"Here, lemme show you something. But you gotta promise, what I show you _cannot_ get out to the other settlers. I'll never hear the end of it." 

MacCready gaped, mind foggy with exhaustion and a little bit of trepidation. "What exactly are you about to show me?" 

Axel smiled mischeviously, flicking his eyes somewhere behind him. "Close the door."

* * *

A bathtub. The number one most must-be-kept secret of Sanctuary, the one thing riding on all of Axel's trust, was a goddamn bathtub. 

MacCready turned around to face Axel, who was comically standing guard at the doorway, actual acute awareness etched in his features as his head darted to the hallway every now and again. 

"What the fuck game are you playing here, Axel? It's just a bat-"

"Shh!" Axel hissed, extracting himself from acting as a human barricade in the doorway to clamp his hand emphatically over MacCready's mouth. "What exactly did we just talk about? No telling! I swear, sometimes the company I keep is overwhelmingly-"

MacCready rolled his eyes as Axel again started on another one of his life moral teaching moments turned incoherent babbling, sticking out his tongue and greeting Axel's attempt at censoring him with a slobbery line against his palm. Instantly, Axel made a face and jerked his hand back, waving it comically in the air. "Eeeeww, what the hell RJ?" 

MacCready tilted his head, smug smirk tugging at his lips as he out off an air of complete innocence. "Boss, you've literally swallowed me, and all of a sudden me licking your hand is where you draw the line?"

Axel's eyes darkened slightly at the mention, shifting his legs slightly to keep his traitorous penis from exposing him. "Yeah, well. There's a time and place for everything. Only time I should be pleased about your spit is if we're swapping it." 

MacCready snorted, but soon turned his attention back to their 'secret.' "You wanna explain to me why this is such a big deal?" 

Axel took one last chance glance down his hallways before he looked back to MacCready, dirty smirk on his lips. "Swap places with me."

* * *

Real water. Real, working, water, and it didn't even have a hint of green or brown or otherwise swampy tiny to it as it ran in a smooth, slightly steaming line down the pipe. 

It was enough to make a grown, wasteland worn, dirty man cry. 

"What the fuck?" MacCready barely whispered, air almost sucked out of him at the shock of it all.

"MacCready, you're supposed to be on watch!" Axel whined like a bratty child, waving him away as he sat on the edge of the tub, pawing at the water to gauge it's temperature. "But yea, it's beautiful isn't it? Sturges and I were fucking around with the water pipes one day when all of a sudden he hit something with a wrench-I'm oversimplifying of course-and boom! Fresh, clean, hot water. It only works in my house, though. I went around and tested all the others. Not that I'm complaining, but-" he stopped his raving at the determined look on MacCready's face. "RJ?" 

"Shit, Ax, we gotta take a bath." 

Axel cocked a brow, looking back at the water flow, steam slowly rising and fogging that damned mirror he kept forgetting to take out-everytime he looked in it, he could still see Nora's face watching him over his shoulder. He shook his head from his reverie, nodding at MacCready's suggestion. "Well yeah, that's why I showed it to you, so you could-"

"No, Axel. I mean together." 

Axel halted, peering, unmoving, not speaking, at MacCready. And MacCready held that gaze, a determined look of his own adding to the mix. 

" _Lock_ the door." 

* * *

Ultimately, they ended up with MacCready squished up against Axel's chest, Axel's back pressing against the back of the tub not because the tub was too small for them, because it actually was big enough for them both to sit comfortably on either side alone. But because Axel genuinely felt bad as he watched MacCready sluggishly try to wash himself, wincing as he stretched a muscle out farther then the sore things wanted him to, so he'd offered to scrub him clean for him. 

MacCready happily obliged, and it wasn't just because of the shivers running through him as he felt Axel's heat pressing against the curve of his spine. 

That was a big part of it though. 

Robert Joseph MacCready was a very selfish man. 

"You falling asleep on me?" Axel's voice startled him to wakefulness, and he couldn't deny him because the welcoming heat surrounding his skin, the soothing way Axel's hands smoothed across his skin, not to mention his overall exhaustion from the journey here, was sending him into a light doze.

MacCready shifted slightly so that his head was resting on the center of Axel's chest, Axel wrapping his hands under his arms to scrub at his stomach. "Can I tell you something?" Axel made a small hum of affirmation against MacCready's ear as he continued softly scrubbing at his arms. MacCready gulped, trying to figure out the best way to talk to him and eventually deciding just to be brutally honest about it-he had a feeling Axel would be the type of man to prefer that over sidestepping the situation, anyway. 

"Do you remember when I told you I was in the Gunners?" 

"Mmhm," Axel replied almost immediately, hands going to massage against his shoulders. "You said you left?" 

"I did." MacCready sighed, nerves firing in his body, turning his fingers and toes cold even in the scalding temperature of the water around them at about what he was about to say. "But I-I _was_ one. And, I was one for a while." 

"Okay?" Axel pressured when MacCready made no point to elaborate. 

"What I'm trying to say is-" he sighed, closing his eyes tight and burrowing his head further into Axel's embrace. "God, why did I even open my mouth?" 

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I don't normally bathe with just anyone, you know. I would never judge you, or try to make you feel less of a person for coming to me with your problems." 

MacCready kept his eyes closed, his toes curled in on themselves when he finally took a deep breath in, parting his lips. 

"I was at Quincy." 

The air was bitingly cold around them as silence, as deafening as it was in MacCready's ears, fell over the two of them. MacCready was all but ready for the lashing out, the inevitable "you don't belong here" speech to come striking through his veins. 

But it didn't come.

Instead, Axel shifted so that MacCready was resting higher up on Axel's chest, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close to the warmth his body was giving off because God knows the water had all but tuned freezing for MacCready now. Axel layed a long kiss against MacCready's hair, hugging him tighter to him. 

"Oh," was all he supplied after a few seconds of overbearing warmth. 

"Oh?" MacCready mocked sardonically. "That's it? I was there when innocent men and women were slaughtered for a measly pocket full of caps. I watched as families were torn apart, as countless innocent lives were ended, all because they just wanted to live another day." 

Axel let MacCready continue to throw his tangent until he'd stopped, sagging bodily against Axel's grip. Axel continued to support him, holding him up and arms still wrapped securely around him. "Did you pull the trigger? Ever?" 

MacCready halted. "Well no, but I've-"

"You left that life behind, MacCready. If you'd have stood up to the people around you, they would've just killed you too."

"That's no excuse," MacCready almost whined against Axel. "I should have fought back. It would have been better if I-"

"MacCready," Mac slightly jumped at the biting tone Axel halted him with. "If you think you're the only one who's done some pretty shit things in their life, you're wrong. I've done a shit ton of things I'm not proud of, but the difference between them, the things that set us apart from our actions, is that we regret them. We shared no joy in the things we had to do to stay alive, and later, maybe we didn't fix it, but we left it behind. We changed, and maybe it was just because we were desperate, but we're not who those things we did could have made us into. And that's what makes us better." 

MacCready wanted so hard to listen to this words, to lean on them like some crutch but he just couldn't, not with this nagging feeling that the very thing he was trying to leave behind was surrounding him now. "The Long's son, I saw him die." 

Axel held him still, but shifted slightly as the silence threatened to hold them captive again. "A pretty heavy topic of conversation to have while bathing someone," he offered as a solace. 

"How can you joke at a time like this?" MacCready huffed, breaking for the first time from Axel's grasp and immediately felt the shivers at the loss of contact. "If it was your son, if you were him, what would you think?" 

"I'd be pissed. I'd want to shoot you dead, right on the spot." Axel said bluntly, a sharp tendril of finality to his tone.

"Exactly," MacCready said, biting the bottom of his lip to keep it from trembling. 

"But then I'd sit back and realize it wasn't your fault." MacCready's eyes shot back up at that, Axel staring at him with such genuine sincerity he could've sobbed. Maybe he did, a little. "Sometimes, shitty things happen and there's nothing we can do about it. Maybe you were there, maybe you could have done more, but you're here now. You're not some heartless, ruthless killer out for his next score. You left because you're not who they want you to be, and for that, you're a good man. And I'd see that, above all else, and I wouldn't blame you anymore." Instinctively, Axel's arms wrapped around MacCready again and MacCready leaned heavily into his touch as Axel rubbed patterns against his back comfortingly. "I think you need to talk to Jun."

MacCready sighed, nodding. "I know." 

"Not now. You both need some time to rest, go at it with clearer heads. But, do you want me to be there with you, when you do?" 

MacCready wanted to say yes. To beg him, to plead for Axel to swoop in like he usually did and save the day, but he knew he needed to do this himself. If things ended badly, then they ended badly. He wouldn't dare risk either Axel's, or Jun's health should it get to that point. "No, that's okay. I need to do this myself."

"Okay," Axel said, understanding as ever. 

MacCready didn't deserve someone as good as Axel in his life. 

They were lapsed into silence again, but it wasn't the suffocating kind this time. This was warm, comforting, the kind MacCready desparately needed. Axel flipped MacCready over, hands continuing their soothing, absolutely blissful touches against his skin as he rubbed him clean, and again the warmth and comfort radiating from his surroundings were acting as a lull to MacCready's exhaustion. 

It wasn't until he felt himself being lifted from the bath and placed on a wonderfully soft cotton mattress, a blanket being draped over him and a pair of soft, cold lips pressing to his forehead that MacCready realized something. 

He had it for Axel Reed Jensen, and he had it _bad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent much, much more time working on that front gate than any other part of Sanctuary. I have more than earned all rights to over-exaggerate it's excellency.  
> Also, I know that canonically, Mac left the Gunners before the Quincy Massacre. However, I thought I'd switch that around for the sake of plot. Just so y'all aren't wondering if I got my facts wrong.  
> I rebooted the game recently, though, and did however realize I've been spelling *Shaun's name wrong this whole time. Forgive me loves, I know way too many Shawns.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Currently writing this as my sleeping dog holds my legs hostage in my own bed*
> 
> Also, sorry about the lapse in time of updates. I've been super sick lately (nothing to do with the pandemic, thank goodness), so all I've really been doing is being all mopey and sleeping all day. I'm feeling like I'm starting to come down off it now, so my brain's finally released enough of that foggy sick haze and I've come up with where I'm going to continue.  
> If none of that made sense to you, it barely made sense to me. Imma blame it all on the standing loopiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So definitely not on the theme of this chapter at all, but I found a bomber jacket in game and gave it to MacCready to test it out and OOF 😂😅  
> If I ever figure out how to post pics on here, I'll be sure to post it because 👌👌  
> So yeah, back to the chapter:  
> Things get resolved with Jun, Mac meets most of Axel's dysfunctional family, and Mac finally shares something more about him in the end. Pretty much the entire chapter is gonna be in Mac's pov. Angst is pretty much a permanent trigger warning for this entire story, whatcha gonna do?

MacCready woke alone. 

His clothes were freshly laundered, a surprisingly pleasant smell that didn't have that lasting chemical stench from when MacCready had the free time to soak his clothes in Abraxo every few months or so. Laying folded neatly on the empty bed beside him, there was also a note etched out in scribble he'd had to guess was from Axel. The words looped together in some weird pattern, Lone and Butch taught him enough to be able to read it, and he knew it was cursive, but he still had no idea why people would choose to make reading even more complicated than it already was with writing like this.

Still, he digressed. 

_Hey, sleeping Beauty. You were still out when I woke up, so I figured I'd let you sleep in for a bit. When you're ready, I'm probably still off in the common house helping Marcy and Mama Murphy set up dinner for everyone. It's just across the street, big building. Can't miss it. Find me there when you're up._

_-Ax_

MacCready sighed, left with a choice between running after Axel like some lost little puppy, or biting the bullet and spitting it right back out and going to see Jun. He didn't like the feeling of waiting for his problems to come to him, but he also was so unaware and rather uncomfortable around these new surroundings, with all these new people, so much he barely felt shame when he decided it was best to meet as many people as he could before his potential-and just, death. 

He'd just redressed and was walking through the halls about to leave, when he heard a distant _whirring_ sound and what could be described as close as a robot humming. It sounded weird when that thought passed through MacCready's head, but shit that's definitely what it sounded like. It's not that MacCready hated robots, but he didn't trust them. One short circuit, and everyone would be at the mercy of those fiery, chainsaw ripping deaths. Not to mention mistrusting robots was pretty much a Commonwealth pastime, what with the Institute such a driving malevolent force here. 

But Axel wouldn't have them here if he didn't trust them, right? 

He'd have to get over himself for the time being. 

What he expected to see when rounding the corner into the living room was not what he expected to see. Instead of this bulking, meaty Assaultron he'd seen during his time in the Gunners, or the overly specked warrior bots he'd seen like the likes of Whitechapel Charlie back in Goodneighbor, this robot was armed with almost nothing but a single flamethrower and an array of simple clawed hands. It _was_ indeed humming while it busied itself with washing dishes and wiping down counters with a less-than-dirty cloth, and on top of it all, it even had a polk-a-dot apron strapped around its base.

It was so docile it was unnerving.

MacCready faltered slightly in his step, and at that, the robot stopped its humming and three robotic eyes turned toward him. The robot remained in stasis for a short while, MacCready squirming under its intense stillness as its sensors picked up that MacCready was no threat. 

"Ah, Mr. MacCready! Looking right as rain, I see. Such a good thing to see that little siesta warmed your spirits!" MacCready almost jumped at the voice, internally groaning when he realized the thing was almost as nice as Axel. Definitely his robot, then. He smirked slightly at the thought of the battle-hardened, overly helpful, do everything yourself so others don't have to perspective man secretly having a robot butler as he regarded the machine with only slight trepidation. "Master Axel is out for the moment, but he should be home soon! Can I interest you in a cold glass of water while you wait?"

"Uhh," he cleared his throat at the mention of refreshing, cold water-a remedy for the desert that was his throat, nodding slightly. "Sure, yeah that works." He walked out into the common room, chirping his tongue slightly at a snoozing Dogmeat on the couch, who lifted his head slightly and gave a single wag of his tail before settling back down to sleep. MacCready faced the robot who had resumed its humming, a small smirk pulling at his lips at the thought. "Thanks," he uttered when the robot had turned, placing a cup full of clean water in front of him on the counter. "Say, what did Axel decide to call you?"

"Codsworth is my name, sir. The pride of General Atomics International. A pleasure to meet you."

Ah, a helpful robot with a bit of a superiority complex. Now he saw the quirkiness. Still, MacCready only nodded, taking a single sip from the cup when the sound of the door handle being jingled behind him caught his attention.

"I'll tell you what, Cods-" Axel came bursting in, eyes set down on the floor so he hadn't noticed MacCready sitting there, "That Marcy girl sure can be a handful. Every time I think I'm getting closer to her, she goes back to being a royal bi-RJ!" His green eyes seemed to get even brighter whenever he noticed MacCready was there, but MacCready didn't want to mention that to him. Not because it'd be weird, but because he was selfish and was afraid it'd go away if he said anything. "Good to see you're up. I was about to come wake you, dinner's pretty much ready." He stopped to lean over the couch, scratching Dogmeat behind the ears as he regarded MacCready and Codsworth. "I see you've met Codsworth already."

"That we did, Sir! And might I say, he is certainly a catch. I understand why you feel so enraptured with him, sir, tenfold!"

MacCready almost choked on his water at the admission, face going beat red as he turned his glare toward Axel, who for his part had the decency to look at least a little guilty under his insatiable smirk. "Fucking hell Ax, you told the robot?"

"The house only has one door besides the front one, Mac. He figured us out before I could even open my mouth. It'd be a shame to lie to him about it now." His smirk reached his eyes now as he moved to sit on the stool next to MacCready. "Sides, Codsworth can keep a secret. Wouldn't have gotten him if he couldn't, amiright Cods?"

"As always, sir. Would you care for a drink, perhaps? I know preparing a feast can be rather tiring."

Axel chuckled lightly, bright white teeth glistening as he nodded. "Sure, I'll go for one." He regarded MacCready then as Codswoth busied himself, lifting his hand and brushing a loose strand of hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear and laying a gentle hand against his cheek. MacCready might've wanted to duck away from his touch-deep down, way deep down, but he ended up losing all sense of control as he leaned into those thick, calloused hands of his. "You're looking better. Sleep well?" Axel asked, regarding him with a soft expression.

MacCready nodded, leaning away from Axel's touch as he took another gulp of the refreshing water. "Yeah, I tend to sleep better when I know there's nobody about to cleave my head off with a machete as soon as I close my eyes." Axel chuckled at that, and MacCready took a glance out the windows for the first time since he woke. He frowned slightly as he realized it was rather dark outside. Hadn't they gotten here around noon? "How long was I out?"

"About four hours," he smiled at MacCready's disbelief. "S'okay, RJ. You needed the sleep, everyone understands."

"Everyone?" MacCready cocked a knowing brow.

Axel nodded. "Yep, the gang's all back from wherever the hell they were before. We even got Valentine to show up, so two birds with one stone I guess. They're all getting ready to go eat. Speaking of," he gulped down the rest of his water and stood. "I'm gonna go get out of these clothes, they smell too much like tatos and various brahmin juices for my liking." He leaned down, pecking MacCready's cheek excitedly. "I'll be ready in a sec." He ruffled MacCready's hair with a thoughtful expression. "You should take the hat off more often. I like your hair." And then he was off, fumbling between walking and stripping himself of his shoes and old socks before disappearing into a room. 

Mac, still grumbling under the chaste touches from Axel, conveniently "forgot" to grab his hat before Axel emerged from the room in fresh clothes, and they walked out the door toward the common house.

* * *

MacCready wasn't really a people person.

Understandable enough, since he spent the better part of his young life in a cave. He always found the less people he got involved with, the less a chance of getting his heart torn through his chest. Again. 

So, it was only natural that when faced with the impossible task of making himself look the least bit sociable in the face of six different people, all at once, that he ultimately failed. 

"Uhh, yeah. Hi. I uhm, like...guns I guess. Gotta rifle. Pretty good shot, enough that we're both still standing. Um..."

"MacCready here's the best merc this side of the Commonwealth." Hancock jumped in in aid of his struggling friend. "He'll get you out of the hairiest of gunfights. Man, the stories I could tell about all those times he singlehandedly saved Goodneighbor from muties..."

"I've heard a lot of weird stories in my day, and covered most," the girl who'd introduced herself as Piper piped up after Hancock spun an epic hero tale that MacCready even had a hard time believing, even though it was mostly true. "That, just sounds entirely too 'comic book hero' trope to be true."

"He's handsome enough, I'll give 'im that." A girl with a thick accent, long red hair winked at him from across the table. "Wouldn't mind having him in front of me, if ya know what I mean."

"Hancock sure can lie pretty well," some dude in a ridiculous outfit chirped up. "Hey, if you're looking for something to do when you're not mayoring..."

"Keep dreaming, tunnel rat," Hancock snipped, drinking his soup straight from his bowl. 

"Your choice of company is certainly..." a prissy, stuck-up tin man sneered down his nose at MacCready, " _exotic_ these days, Axel."

"Danse," Axel glowered through a mouthful of his soup. "What did we agree you'd work on?" 

The metal man, 'Danse', glared at Axel sheepishly before rolling his eyes, sighing. "You're right. Sorry. It's-good to meet you, civilian. I trust you'll keep Knight Axel alive. He's a very important man, with an equally important mission to the Commonwealth."

"Such a pleasure to meet you, Monsieur MacCready! You are a merc, yes? I am adequately trained as a medical professional; I will be more zan happy to lend you aid, should you need it!"

"Hey, MacCready. Sure haven't seen you in a while. How's Lu-" one look from MacCready had Valentine conveniently "choking" on his vegetable soup. "Sorry. Meant, how's life been treating you since you got out of that merc group?" 

"I'm still alive," MacCready said, eyes catching sight of Jun Long, who'd just walked through the door after his guard shift. He didn't notice MacCready at first, scooping up a ladle of soup into his bowl. It wasn't until he'd sat down on the table next to Marcy that he caught sight of MacCready. MacCready might've almost felt the heat of his gaze, if it hadn't been a split second before he looked back down at the table again. 

"...Did he suddenly turn mute?"

MacCready blinked, giving half of his attention back to what was going on in front of him now. Every eye was fixed on him, including Axel's, which was coupled with unbearable worry. One of these days, MacCready would have to beat that niceness right out of him before someone walked all over him just for having it. "Sorry. What?"

Hancock cocked his head to a side, studying MacCready with a leveled gaze. "You alright there, brother? Maybe you should grab a few more winks.."

"I'm fine," MacCready forced his gaze away from the Long's table and turned it on his group of confused spectators. "What were you saying?"

"Danse was asking if you're planning on staying in the Commonwealth long-term." Axel responded, squinting at MacCready. "Are you alri-"

"I dunno, it depends on how things end up back home," MacCready answered shortly, heart beating quickly as he saw Jun stand, beginning to make his way for the exit. He sighed, looking back down at the crowd of people around him. "Look, I'm real sorry about this, but I gotta go. We'll have to make idle chitchat some other time."

Without gauging anyone's reactions, especially Axel's, MacCready stood from the table and made a B-line towards where Jun had left mere seconds prior. 

"Well, I'd say that went well." Deacon quipped, much to the annoyance of pretty much everyone around him. 

"Did we say something wrong?" Piper asked, genuine concern in her voice as her eyes trained solely on Axel. "How do we fix it?"

Axel's eyes trained on the retreating form of MacCready, he caught a small glimpse of another man walking in front of him-small in build, hair shaggy, head down at his feet as he scurried away. It all came back to him then, and he cleared his throat, shaking his head slightly at Piper's concern. "Don't worry about it, he's got a little something he's gotta get off his chest." He nodded toward Cait, who was resting with her feet on the table. "Pass me a Nuka."

* * *

"Jun." MacCready could've been screaming back and forth at himself, the way Jun just kept walking like nothing was wrong. "C'mon, man, please stop."

MacCready never understood how good people gave way so easily, but Jun did indeed come to a complete stop, not looking back but not walking off just yet. MacCready parted his lips, and immediately froze. Shit, he had no idea what to say. 

"Jun, I-I can't, I'm-" MacCready sighed weakly, tongue feeling like a 20 pound weight on his jaw. "Let me explain myself. Please."

Jun didn't move an inch, not for a long while. MacCready's heart absolutely sank in his chest when Jun started walking away again. "Wait, don't-"

"Not here," Jun's voice finally broke through the crisp night air, shaky but somehow still firm. He chanced a look behind his shoulder, tilting his head in a gesture to follow him. "Somewhere else. I know a place."

MacCready felt the nerves begin to set in, stinging at his hands and feet as he thought about all the places Jun could be taking him to, how many traps he'd spring on the unsuspecting, overly apologetic merc at his mercy. Jun didn't look like much, nor a man that'd ever wish ill on anyone unless they really, really deserved it, but it still chilled MacCready as he allowed himself to be guided toward the outskirts of camp. 

When Jun finally came to a stop right in front of that gaudy 'Minutemen' statue commonly known as a bird's shitter these days, MacCready made sure to keep enough distance that if this really was a trap, he'd still have a fighting chance to slip away. Instead, Jun stood just as still as the statue, eyes fixed intently on it's face. "We were never really supposed to be Minutemen, you know."

MacCready halted, but said nothing as he crossed his arms over his chest. Both giving him room to speak his mind, and secretly staying on guard. Because he knew if he were in Jun's position, he would've damn well pulled the trigger already, or died trying to at least. 

"I don't know if you've had the pleasure of meeting Marcy, but could you imagine a woman like that volunteering up her life for strangers for no better reason than it's the 'right thing to do?" Jun let out a little laugh, and pins and needles scratched the surface of MacCready's heart to hear how absolutely empty it was. "Super mutants. They raided our family farm, burned our crops, our home, our very livelihood, killed almost everyone in sight. It was a miracle upon miracles Marcy and I were able to escape with him." MacCready didn't need to ask who he meant, his voice giving away to his utter despair was enough of a clue. "We were out a home, food, basic human necessities. We wouldn't have lasted another day out there, and we all knew it. I tried staying strong for my family, giving them all I could so they'd stay breathing another day. But we were in complete disarray with no way out. And then we ran into Preston, or Commander Hollis as it was back then. They gave us food, water, gave my son a big fur coat and a dirty mattress to sleep on-still a lot better than another night on the street. They didn't want anything in return, only mentioned in passing they were always looking for more people to join the cause. They made it seem like we didn't owe them anything, that everything they did for us was just out of the kindness of their own hearts. And it was. You won't ever meet that kind of selflessness, that genuine good anywhere else in the Commonwealth. And so we joined. Well, I joined. Marcy eventually came around when she realized there was no more food."

Jun paused, exhaling a shaky breath as he finally looked away from the statue, back down at his feet. "He was awfully young then. He didn't know much about anything past what he could make out with his own two eyes, but he'd never stop talking about how he was gonna grow big and tall one day, and how he was going to join the Minutemen." He was crying now, MacCready could hear his sobs break free every time he opened his mouth. He wanted to do something, anything, something better than just standing there with his arms crossed like a fucking brick wall. But his feet didn't move, his arms didn't uncross. "Joining the minutemen-" Jun finally squeaked out, sobs shaking his entire frame as he glared daggers at the statue again, "was the worst decision of our lives."

Suddenly, Jun turned, his hand fiddling with something in his pocket and MacCready couldn't help but flinch away, his hand already going for the knife he had stashed in his gun strap. Jun stopped moving, eyes fixed on MacCready's hands and then suddenly, his wet face broke out into a slow smile, a hearty laugh falling from his chapped lips. "I'm not going to fight you." He looked pointedly down at himself, then shifted his gaze to MacCready's imposing foot-taller, significantly bigger muscle toned body. "That would undoubtedly be the second worst decision I could make." Slowly, he looked down, hand digging in his pocket down and his hand was curled over whatever he'd pulled out when he finally looked back up at MacCready. "I remember you."

MacCready blanched at the sudden cold around him, swallowing hard. "I-"

"I remember your face. I remember your face when he-" Jun gulped hard, shifting his jaw from side-to-side. "I remember what you did, when he fell." Jun stood straighter than MacCready had ever seen him stand, facing MacCready with a determined, stone-shaking gaze. "They were going to take him for proof, weren't they? A bonus for doing what nobody else would?"

MacCready felt the lump build in his throat as the harsh memories filtered toxic clouds in his brain. Slowly, he nodded. "Yes."

"I thought so," Jun whispered, gaze flickering down to his curled hand again. "I remember what you did." He repeated like a mantra, eyes closing tight as he brought whatever was in his hand up to his lips. "You set up your rifle, and you took the shot between the eyes of whoever would even come near him. And then, when you had the closest window of time, you ran into the battlefield and you picked up his little body, and you brought him back to us. I won't-I can't forget that even if I wanted to." His eyes opened, tears blurring in his dark brown eyes as he regarded MacCready with an awfully painful expression. "You were there, with them. You sat back and you watched as a mountain of innocent men, women and children were slaughtered by your own people. And I wanted to hate you, so bad for that. But you brought my boy back. You risked everything for people who were supposed to mean nothing to you. So I just _couldn't,_ and it made me feel so wrong. So guilty. Every time I close my eyes and I see my boy's eyes looking back up at me, I wish with everything I have left that I could hate you. Maybe I'd hate you just enough to kill you." The air was incredibly suffocating around the pair, MacCready locked frozen in fear and Jun's hard glare washing incredibly heavy over every inch of him. The next time Jun's lips parted, his expression was tired-sad, relenting, but tired at the most. "You could've done more. You should've. And now, you're standing here, begging me to forgive you. But I can't forgive you."

MacCready, every inch of him as cold as ice, gulped as he nodded slowly, averting his eyes anywhere from that empty look in Jun's eyes. "I-I know."

"I can't forgive you, MacCready, because there's nothing to forgive. It wasn't your fault. I wasn't too sure about that myself at first, and maybe I would've kept blaming you if you hadn't shown up here with the General. But if you're here, and you're not there, then maybe you're a lot more good than you are bad." He stepped forward, close enough that he could outstretch his hand to him. "You dropped this, after you gave my son back to me. I wasn't sure if it was on purpose or not, but it feels a lot more right giving it back to you than keeping it around."

MacCready furrowed his brows, finally chancing a look at what was in his hands. His breath stopped.

In Jun's outstretched hand, lying still and gentle in his palm as it stared back at him, was the wooden toy soldier Lucy had given him years ago. He knew he'd lost it the second the battle was over, and it haunted him ever since. 

And now, in the outstretched hand of the man who'd lost more than anyone ever should-just like him, it was back.

It was MacCready's turn to let a tear fall down his cheek as he gingerly wrapped his fingers around the hard, cold object, bringing it up to his eyes so he could see it better through the tears blurring his vision. 

And then, before he knew it, Jun was collapsing against MacCready, quivering on his knees and hanging his arms around MacCready's shoulders like it was his lifeline. "I miss him, so much. I can't work, sleep, eat, _be_ without him."

It scared MacCready to know that he knew this feeling, squeezing his fingers around the wooden toy soldier and wrapping his arms around Jun, holding him up on his feet and stable against his chest. "Your son wanted to be a Minuteman?"

Jun took a deep breath in, nodding against MacCready's chest. "More than anything else."

MacCready nodded, squeezing Jun's small frame tighter against him. "Then becoming a Minuteman was the best decision you've ever made, Jun."

Almost immediately, Jun's body shuddered under MacCready's grasp, deflating almost against him as his sobs turned from empty, hollow to full, purposeful. The greatest peace a man in his situation could feel. 

And MacCready stood there, tears streaking down his cheeks, holding Jun up for as long as Jun wanted to be held.

* * *

Axel was dozing off sitting up on a stool in his living room when MacCready finally found his way back to their shared home. He jumped, eyes snapping open as MacCready shut the door tightly behind him. Axel hastily wiped the drool from his cheek, blinking blearily at MacCready as he straightened in the chair.

"Oh, there you are! Wasn't sure if you were coming back tonight or not. I saved a bowl of stew for you-in the fridge, if you're hungry. Since you kinda left in the middle of-" Axel stopped short when he saw MacCready standing in the middle of the living room, not even looking at him and instead his eyes were locked on something in his hands that he couldn't see. "MacCready? Hey, are you okay?"

It wasn't until Axel had slid off the stool and was standing still in front of him that MacCready finally looked up, and Axel's heart hurt at his bloodshot eyes, his absolutely disheveled state as crusted tear-stains threatened to wash away at the onslaught of fresh ones rolling down his cheeks. "Hey.." Axel cooed softly, leaning in and wrapping MacCready warmly into his embrace. "What happened, MacCready? Talk to me."

MacCready melted into Axel's touch, body racked with intense shivers as sobs came exploding from his throat. He felt himself go limp, his knees threatening to give out underneath him but Axel was there, holding him up and that wooden toy soldier was still curled tightly into his palm-he'd never let it go again. 

"I want them gone," MacCready whispered, not even sure Axel heard it over the sobs still uncontrollably spilling from inside him. 

But of course he did, the perceptive bastard. He reared his head back, pretty green eyes more a comfort than MacCready knew they could be as they scanned him soothingly. "Who?"

"Winlock. Barnes. The gunners. All of them. I want them dead. I want to kill them." He looked up to Axel again, trying to look as determined and sincere as he could through the absolute despair clinging to every inch of him. "I know where they are. They're not far from here. We could end them all now. Couldn't we?"

And Axel, the overly nice, obsessively compassionate motherfucker, immediately nodded, expression nothing but sincere as he regarded MacCready. "Of course we can, MacCready. First thing tomorrow, we'll give them exactly what they deserve." 

MacCready wasn't sure if he smiled on the outside, but for damn sure was he positively beaming on the inside. Distantly, he felt as Axel lifted him from his feet, carrying him through the house until his back was hitting that impossibly soft mattress, his shoes being tugged off his feet and a blanket spreading warmth through him as it was tucked securely around him. 

He wasn't aware of much of what happened after that, but he definitely remembered Axel falling asleep with his arms wrapped securely around him, warm breaths sending shivers down the side of his neck as MacCready lie awake in bed, holding the wooden toy soldier above him and stroking it fondly between the cold, calloused skin of his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter's gonna have canon-typical violence and gore, sweet satisfying revenge and even more fluff and feels between my two favorite idiots, so be ready for that!
> 
> Also I've had fo4 forever and I know how all the endings go, but I never actually got to a base game ending until today. I feel almost empty now. Send help?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like mentioned before, minor angst, canon-typical violence, minor injury description, blood and gore, and sweet, sweet revenge. 
> 
> Also the boys may or may not smash face surrounded by a pile of dead bodies.
> 
> Next chapter, or at least the next few or so, I wanna start getting back into the main plot, while also introducing a new character because I've noticed some holes in my story that I really wanna clear up🙃 so that's the plan for whenever the next few chapters come out. 
> 
> Love you guys ♥️♥️

"MacCready," Axel whispered over his face, giving him a slight shake of his shoulder. 

MacCready slowly opened his eyes, feeling like he'd only just closed them a few seconds ago, which he very well might have. He blinked once, Axel backing up out of his face so that he could sit up. He realized, frantically, that his toy soldier was still hanging somewhat loosely in his grip. Quickly, he shoved it into his duster pocket, refusing to catch the inquiring, slightly pained look Axel cast his way.

"Are you still up for this? Going after an entire company can be a bit lofty an aspiration."

Mac felt the wooden toy soldier's incapacitating weight hanging in his pocket, and he nodded firmly. "I've gotta do this." He chanced a glance up to Axel who he'd noticed stopped trying to hide any emotion from him-and his brows were currently knitted together in worry. "If you don't think we can, I understand. You can stay b-"

"Stop." Axel stood abruptly, and Mac almost thought he was mad at him before his green eyes locked back on him, determined as he offered him a hand. "We're still new, neither of us really know what's going on, but I do know that without a doubt, 1000%, I'd never have you fighting alone." 

MacCready refrained from saying it out loud, but he was becoming increasingly aware of how many times the two of them being together ended in bloody, extremely dangerous firefights. And, being that they'd only known each other for a few odd months, and that they're both in the shit and still wading, it was a very heavy thing to think about it. They'd been damn lucky so far, but luck doesn't last forever. He distantly hope it wasn't his call that gets one of them killed. 

But he can't think of that now. He couldn't. He needed to do this, he knew it, Jun knew it, Axel knew it. If Axel was anyone else, Mac would've told them not to worry about it. Not to sacrifice everything for some beat up, smartass merc that was butt buddies with the worst kinds of trouble. But this was Axel, and if he knew anything, he knew that Axel wouldn't even let Mac open his mouth about it. 

It both made him feel incredibly important and valued, and absolutely terrified him. 

He took Axel's hand.

* * *

It wasn't that Axel didn't trust anyone else, and it certainly wasn't that he thought so highly of himself he thought he could take out an entire fleet of high-end mercenaries by himself-because egotistics like that usually ended up being the first ones to die. 

It was because MacCready didn't want to be a "bother" to anyone, didn't want to waste any lives he could still control, that Axel didn't ask anybody else to tag along. He could understand the sentiment, the thought of losing any of his friends crushed him, but to say he wasn't the least bit anxious about the upcoming fight would be an all-out lie.

He glanced over at MacCready, who'd been uncharacteristally quiet this entire trip to Mass Pike Interchange. Actually, if he were being frank, MacCready walked out of that common room yesterday one person, and came back somebody else. He did not like this MacCready. And he would do anything to get his MacCready back. 

Even if it meant he'd have to die for it. 

Holy shit, this "companionship" between the two of them was getting deeper every time he blinked. That didn't scare him, not really. It just came as a shock to him how quickly the pieces of them clicked together, as if they were supposed to bend and twist to fit into eachother all along.

Alright, enough with the sappy shit, Ax. You've got more important things to worry about. 

Like maybe _not_ getting the man you adore killed. 

He cleared his throat in the crisp air, morning apocalyptic sun rising rather brilliantly around them. "You wouldn't happen to know just how many of those bastards we'll be dealing with?"

MacCready blinked once, face a bit pale and expression somewhere far away from the present. He shook his head slowly, watching his feet kick cobblestones in his path. "If my experience with the Gunners matters at all, I'd say we definitely have our work cut out for us. Barnes and Winlock never liked to walk around unprotected, and they certainly overcompensated in that department." He paused, a slight sympathetic wince contorting his lips. "Sorry, Ax. Not trying to worry you. If we can lay a 50 foot mirelurk flat, I'm sure we can take on some bastards with laser rifles no problem. It's the assaultron I'm worried the most about. If it's there at all. The 'dynamic duo' wasn't usually caught without it, leering in the corners and whatnot."

"Assaultron? Like the one at Kill or Be Killed?" 

"KLEO? Yeah, that's the one. Why?" 

Axel's expression was bright, hopeful to a fault. "I don't think we'll have to worry much about that assaultron, after all."

MacCready staggered, eyes narrowed. "Alright, what the hell did you do to KLEO?"

Axel smirked, a light chuckle falling from his lips as he sighed. "When I was younger and tried college out for a spill, I had this roommate who knew everything there was to know about anything technical. Could hotwire a car in three seconds flat. Anyway, this kid knew a lot about this new age technology crap I could never wrap my head around, and he'd talk a lot about them. Turns out he'd been a frontline researcher slash engineer on a new line of robots specifically designed for home and property protection. Designation? Assaultron." He smiled proudly at MacCready, who wasn't seeming to understand where he was getting at in the slightest if his bewildered expression was anything to go by. "Look. Sparing you the boring details; as long as we can get to that thing without one or both of us being fried by those beams, I know exactly how to activate that thing's off switch. Just gotta get a good few seconds of breathing room for the programming transfer."

MacCready halted, piqued interest as his brows furrowed. "Okay, well doesn't that mean you'd be sending me to distract an entire fleet of angry Gunners while you sneak up behind the thing?" 

Axel rolled his eyes. "Please, I'm not that sacrificial." He reached into the sack strapped loosely around his hips, pulling out two devices that looked a hell of a lot like ting computers in a brown satchel. "We're gonna fuck em over right under their noses." 

"And those are?" 

Axel tilted his head slightly. "You don't know? Figured people with a reputation like the Gunners would eat these things up like candy. They're called Stealthboys. Main point of these things is, you strap it around some part of your body-arms, legs, hips, strap it to your chest, push a couple buttons and boom! You were never there. I can hook yours up for you when we get up there, but remember it only makes you physically invisible. You gotta handle being really fucking quiet all on your own." 

"Okay how the fuck are you so perfect all the time?" He'd said it lightly, but he meant it. Axel seemed to know exactly what to do, in any situation, and if anything threw him for a curve ball, he'd have the solution to that in his back pocket. It didn't make him suspicious, but for someone who'd just recently sprung from cryo with no knowledge of how to make it in the wasteland, this was really fucking impressive.

Axel brushed it off with a chuckle and a shrug. "I dunno about 'perfect,' but..." he drawled, stuffing the stealthboys back into his pack and taking point again. 

Mac followed closely behind, cheeks flaming as the urge to say something threatened to burn him from the inside out. "Boss, Axel." Axel stopped, turning toward him with a curious expression. "I'm, pretty trash at these things but uh, just wanted to say thanks. You've been really, really great and genuinely concerned for my well-being and I haven't felt this safe and fucking happy in a _really_ long time. I forgot how good it feels to have someone watching your back like you do, and I don't think I could do anything to repay you for it, so I guess this is as good a start as any." Axel was completely still, staring at him and MacCready scoffed, looking down at his boots. "Yeah, like I said, I'm really bad at this-" 

He was cut off abruptly by Axel snatching his chin and forcing his head upwards, his lips latching onto his. MacCready, surprised and a little terrified if he were putting it frank, was paralyzed for a good few seconds of Axel's lips working studiously on his, until he sighed against him and dived headfirst into the kiss. 

He most definitely did _not_ whine when Axel pulled away, green eyes so vibrant he couldn't see anything but that color, panting for breath and smirking against it all, the smug bastard. His tongue darted out minutely, swiping against that plump, pink, perfect top lip as he regarded MacCready with a look that sent shivers from his head out his toes.

"That's a promise, RJ," Axel whispered, husky and alluring as hell. "We get out of this thing, we're still alive, and that's what you're getting. It's a promise. You promise, yeah?"

MacCready let a breath fall from his lips, forgetting how to speak when he was under that beautiful, hungry gaze of his. He nodded twice, feeling oxygen begin to cycle away from a certain part of his body and back to where it belongs. 

Axel nodded back, securing MacCready's duster around him before turning around. "Let's get this thing over with then, yeah?"

MacCready gulped, eyes unabashedly falling down, down and setting there. "Yeah," he whispered, willing himself to begin walking again.

* * *

Silently, he hunkered lower to the ground, running on light steps over to where Axel was already stationed, one knee in the dirt as he looked around the area of battle with a pair of binoculars. "This is it?" He whispered as MacCready settled beside him. 

"Yeah," MacCready whispered back, pulling up his rifle and taking a look around the area himself. He trained his scope to the bridge overpass above them, budging Axel with an elbow to train his attention there too. "Most of them will be up there. Winlock and Barnes will definitely be there, at least. With their robot bodyguard." 

Axel nodded, setting his sight back to the ground. "Okay, I see three down in front. Take them out, then we hook up the stealthboys before finding a way up there?" 

MacCready nodded, squinting through his scope to catch a better layout of the area. "There's usually an elevator up to the-there." He pointed to the building in the middle of the battle area on the ground. On the tip of the building, stairs led to a pad with a powered button beside it. "That's how we'll make it up. Wouldn't be very sneaky without the boys, though. We'll still need to be careful, no telling where everyone'll be when we finally make our way up there."

Axel nodded. "Okay," he sighed out a short breath, digging a suppressed .22 pistol from his pack and nodding toward the elevator. "There's a spotlight hooked up, I'm gonna try and shoot that out as quietly as I can. You still have a silencer attachment for that rifle?" 

MacCready nodded, rifling in his own pack until he pulled out the attachment in question. 

Axel set down his weapon, gesturing for MacCready's rifle. "Lemme put that on for you. It's night vision, so you don't have to worry about the lack of clarity. As soon as you see the light go out, I need you to start taking shots. Make them count, yeah?" A resounding click as the silencer was latched into place, and the rifle was being passed back to him. 

MacCready smirked slightly, nodding. "Since when have my shots not counted?" 

Axel chuckled, winking at him. "Good point." He stuffed his binoculars back into his pack, zipping it up and hastily throwing it back over his arms. "Just try not to shoot _me,_ and everything'll be daisies and ponies. See you down there?" 

MacCready nodded, settling firm on the ground and setting his rifle into a readying stance. "Yeah, boss. Be careful." 

"Not planning on stopping now," Axel chortled, disappearing silently into the overgrown forest surrounding them. 

MacCready sighed out his nerves, trying to focus on the situation ahead of him but _fuck_ did the prospect of being the reason Axel's throwing himself into danger-willingly or not-scared the shit out of him. He could only hope Axel was just as good at avoiding death as MacCready was at attracting it.

In the shrill of the night, he'd barely heard the wind whip with the suppressed bullet, but as soon as he saw the little light source above the mercs on the ground disappear, he trained his rifle on his targets and took his shots. 

Before the merc in the middle could even process they were in a fight, MacCready had sniped the one on the left, and Axel had taken care of the one to the right of him. The merc left standing sputtered, scrambling for his rifle, but it was useless. MacCready was already trained on the merc, finger pressuring the trigger, taking a deep breath, adding enough pressure until he felt the bullet release and-

And Axel fucking jumped on the merc the second his bullet left his chamber. 

"Fuck, fuck fuck fuck _fuck-"_ MacCrwady's heart was pounding in his ears, giant lump in his throat as he couldn't gauge whether the bullet had hit his original target or not-they were on the ground. He scrambled up, racing toward where he'd seen the two fall with anxious tears already forming at his waterlines with every hurried step. 

His heart seized when he saw the bodies piled on each other, _neither_ of them moving. "Fuck, Axel!" MacCready hissed, barely registering the loud clanking of his rifle smacking against the dirt as he lunged toward the pile, wrapping his fingers around the Gunner on top of him and ripping him off. It sent a small shiver of relief through him when he saw the bullet hole in the center of the unmoving Gunner's chest, but that didn't mean it didn't travel straight through and hit-

"Hey," MacCready whispered, smacking his hand against Axel's cheek, gulping as he saw Axel's eyes were closed. "Shit, did I hit you, Ax? C'mon, talk to me." Scrambling, hands fumbling against his body in search of any telling wetness or tears, he became increasingly panicked as he found absolutely nothing. But, if there wasn't anything, why wouldn't Axel be responding? Feeling a sob threatening to leave his throat, his hands increased their pressure as he tried to roll Axel over, check his back, when suddenly a hand reached up and gripped MacCready's wrist tightly. 

MacCready blanched, reflexively ripping his wrist free and falling backwards onto his ass, gaping with shuddered breaths in front of him. 

Axel was still laying on the ground, head turned away from him but both his arms were raised at their sides. Slowly, he lifted his head to glower at MacCready, green eyes reflecting almost like a cat in the dark of night. "Well shit, that was close," Axel breathed out, shaky chuckle biting at his tone.

"Goddammit," MacCready mumbled, scurrying like a mole rat against the ground as he stooped over Axel, leaning down and lifting him up to sitting, wrapping his arms tightly around his torso. "Don't fucking scare me like that again, you asshole." 

Axel, still a bit shaken, let out another breathy laugh as he slowly reached to wrap his arms around MacCready's slim frame. "Yeah, speak for yourself." 

MacCready shut his eyes tight against the last tendrils of fear stinging at his chest, shaking his head silently. "We should get up there before they notice they lost their ground comms," he offered, releasing himself from Axel's grip with one final squeeze to the shoulder. 

"Yeah, yeah, keep your pants on," Axel quipped, waving off his insistence as he unclipped his pack from his hip and dug the two stealthboys out. He stood, motioning for MacCready to turn around. "I'm gonna put this on your back, just in case some debris comes flying at you and hits the pod. You'd literally be a sitting duck." 

MacCready stood, following Axel's orders and trying his best to focus on what he was saying, and his directions for how to turn on the stealthboy, but the severity of the situation just before was taking up all his ability to focus. 'That was close,' was the understatement of the century. Mac almost, he almost-

He must've made some noise, tensed up enough because the next thing he knew he felt Axel's arms slide around his torso from behind, wrapping around at his hip and pulling him into his chest. He felt as Axel pressed his lips against the top of his head, quietly shushing him as he held him close. 

For fuck's sakes, _he_ was the one that almost got shot and yet here he was, consoling _MacCready._

"Hey, it's okay. I'm okay, alright? Don't worry about it. Everything's fine. Gotta get your head out of that, okay? You're okay." 

MacCready sighed, closing his eyes tight and focusing on Axel's embrace, his soothing words falling from his lips and sending warmth down the curve of his spine. He let out a long, steady breath. "Sorry. I'm back." 

"Don't apologize," Axel offered shortly, pressing the control panel of the stealthboy into his hands. "Whenever I say, just flip this switch, alright? Since this is your first time, it'll be a little discombobulating. You'll get really sleepy at first, then dizzy, then nauseous. Just-try not to hurl all over me, alright? Codsworth just washed this." He threw an encouraging smirk toward him, strapping his stealthboy towards the back of his arm. 

MacCready nodded. "Yeah, okay." 

Axel looked back up, smiling at him. "Just hold onto me, alright? I won't be able to see you to make sure you're there, so-" he reached out, taking hold of one of MacCready's hands and forcing it to clutch against the hem of his armored coat. "Just keep holding onto me."

MacCready nodded, situating his rifle in his other hand as he clutched Axel's clothing like a lifeline. He followed Axel up the steps, watching as he pressed the button to call the elevator. As soon as it was on the ground, Axel led them onto it, crouching low and looking at MacCready determinedly. "You ready?" 

MacCready nodded, looking at the control panel in his hand. "Yeah, I'm ready." 

"Okay," Axel whispered, snaking one of his arms behind him and holding MacCready's shoulder up like a crutch to lean on. "Flip the switch." 

* * *

The first feeling that hit him was the dizziness, which definitely didn't help that Axel had pressed the button to the elevator and they were currently being hoisted up high into the air. The exhaustion hit him next, _hard,_ and coupled with the dizziness he was feeling he began swaying on his feet, fighting to keep his eyes open as he began to feel himself tilt, and tilt-

Arms reached out, catching him and immediately pressed him firmly into their embrace. "Hey, you still with me RJ?" 

In response, MacCready let out a big yawn, confused about why the air suddenly seemed so interested in his well-being but hey, what are you going to do? He nodded slowly, yawning again as he felt the overbearing need to hurl. Hitching his breath, he slammed his hands over his mouth to keep the bile at bay, and frowned through it all when he realized that now the air was _laughing_ at him. He would've very well had some choice words for that son of a bitch, but if he yelled at it he was pretty sure it'd retaliate and suffocate him. So he clamped his mouth shut. 

"Yeah, I know. First times suck. It'll be better the next time, at least. Just take a few deep breaths, it'll clear up soon." 

Almost immediately after the air confirmed that for him, things started clicking back into place. He was still a little groggy, but he realized then where, when, and why he was, and he remembered to reach out, a little weirded out that he couldn't see his own hand but managed to take hold of Axel's jacket. 

He felt as a hand snaked over his, holding it there for as long as it could until the elevator clicked to a stop, MacCready having to bite down hard at his jaw to keep from gasping at the vast number of Gunner company mercs around them. 

Yep, they were going to war. 

No big deal.

* * *

It was pretty much a miracle that somehow, nobody realized the elevator even coming down and then back up. There was still unbothered chatter, people eating and dicking around all around them as if they weren't just about to get their shit kicked in without even knowing it. 

While the size of the group may have stunned MacCready, it must not have translated to Axel because before even a word of warning, he felt as his grip on Axel's jacket began tugging him out of the elevator and over the street railing. MacCready took Axel's advice almost to the point of him holding his breath as they both kept as quiet as they could. Axel lead them into cover behind a decrepit bus, and MacCready almost jumped when he suddenly heard his voice. 

"You see the robot anywhere?" He whispered. 

MacCready, not letting go of Axel's coat, took a chance look around the bus, scouting the places he'd remembered the two liked to store the things when they were back at base. 

He almost got excited that it wasn't there until he looked toward the "cafeteria" and it was standing, prone but online off to the side by the old Nuka Cola machines. He let out a quiet breath, ducking back behind cover. "Other side of the bus, by the drink machines," he whispered back and was shocked when he felt tugging again. "What, no plan?"

"These things don't last forever," Axel whispered back, not even faltering in his steps. "We need to take it out fast and get back into cover before they fade." 

MacCready gulped, but scrambled back on his feet to follow closely behind Axel. 

The seconds ticked by as they sat there, Axel sifting through programs at his pipboy while MacCready kept shifty eyes at the seemingly unbothered Gunners feasting literally three feet in front of them. God, if this didn't hurry up, he'd probably be taking the shot first-

He shook as he felt hands clamp hurriedly around him, almost ready to fight against them until he realized it was Axel, standing them up and not giving a damn about being quiet anymore as he raced them far away from the assaultron, diving them roughly behind metal cover as their bodies smacked to the ground with loud thuds. 

"What the fuck was-hey, what the hell's wrong with the tin can?" MacCready quickly sat back up, craning his neck over cover to see a large amount of Gunners circled around the assaultron, which looked as if it were about to misfire as it's head began to glow completely in fiery red. 

As reputable as they are, never hold it to the Gunners as having a lick of common sense. 

They were there, huddled around the thing until a final click was the only warning before it exploded in such extreme heat that MacCreadh could feel it singing his cheeks, him nearly getting out of the way of debris and shrapnel before it came flying towards their cover. The Gunners not caught in the blast began scurrying from their posts, weapons drawn and tossing their heads over their shoulders trying to find the two. 

"I thought you were just shutting it off!" MacCready hissed to Axel, blinking as he realized he could make out his figure now. The stealthboys had run out just after the explosion. 

Axel smirked darkly, shrugging. "Are you complaining? The blast took out half our problems without us even lifting a finger."

MacCready returned his smirk, fumbling for his rifle as he heard telltale dinging of bullets ricocheting off the metal they were hunched behind. 

"Good point."

* * *

With most of the batalion already obliterated, it wasn't necessarily an easy fight but it was certainly easier as the level of outnumbering was severely dwindled. Not to mention, MacCready and Axel were quickly becoming recognized as two of the best shots in the Commonwealth. The numbers became smaller and smaller, the threat becoming less damaging the more they took down-until-

"Power armor!" MacCready screamed over his shoulder, catching Axel's eye at his motioned to the commander who'd just stepped into a suit of fully functional armor. 

"Damnit," Axel hissed, aiming toward the suit and cursing as the bullet seemed to do nothing but ricochet off the plates of metal completely coating the man in a protective shield. He took one glance at MacCready, then grit his jaw. "Cover me," was all he said before suddenly, MacCready saw as Axel hurled himself out of cover, jumping over the railing and racing toward the one in power armor. 

"Axel!" MacCready screamed, hearing almost nothing but his heart pounding in his ears, eyes wide as he tried his best to take down any Gunner as they appeared around Axel. It was getting increasingly harder to focus on his form as more and more Gunners appeared around him, dust from chunks of road along with hefty amounts of debris flying at him blocking his vision-until he caught sight of those glinting greens turning toward him, getting closer as he ducked around cover from the bullets-nothing even touching him as the power armor guy stupidly followed him acting as bait for MacCready to shoot out the fusion core behind him. 

God, Axel had to be an actual prophet. 

"MacCready, now!" Axel shouted, ducking behind a trailer a few feet ahead of him and clutching his arm close to his chest, dribbles of crimson seeping through his fingers. 

MacCready swallowed back his apprehension, setting his rifle over his shoulder, taking aim at the fusion core in its chamber as it came even closer toward Axel, and with a deep breath, took a shot. 

There was a loud click, the sound of gas leaking through a hole, and then MacCready distantly caught Axel scrambling out from the trailer and diving behind cover further away before the bridge shook on its hinges with yet _another_ explosion. 

Before MacCready could even look out to see the damage, call out to asses Axel's condition, he felt a pair of hands come clapping hard against his shoulders, letting out a strangled yelp as he was ripped from the ground, then slammed back down against the pavement as his head made a resounding _crack_ against the cement. 

* * *

"I warned you," Winlock spat between punches, laying another hard kick against MacCready's ribs. He would've cried out against the pain if he didn't feel like he was suffocating. "You were always so proud, so vain." A boot pressing hard enough against the arm feebly trying to reach for the discarded rifle, MacCready feeling the bones _move_ and snap under the weight of the foot. He let out a slow whimper, feeling a warm liquid coming up through his throat and coating his lips as he opened his mouth in a silent cry. 

"So _stupid,_ even now," Winlock hissed, breath like stale beer and week-old cram cakes washing over MacCready's face. "I knew we should've just killed you the day you walked, but old Tam wouldn't have that, would she? Let you walk, let you _leave,"_ MacCready stopped completely still as he felt a familiar ice cold metal press against his temple. "I told her it would come back to bite us in the ass. And look at you now." MacCready shut his eyes as he heard the gun click, bullet clicking into it's chamber against his skull. "Pathetic. One squeeze of this trigger, MacCready, and you're just, _gone._ Does that scare you, MacCready? Does it make you worry about _him?"_ MacCready's eyes snapped open at the insinuation, and Winlock sneered viciously at him. 

"What, you think you could just fuck us over, and we wouldn't have a backup plan?" He snarled, cold metal pressing harder against his head. "We know all about little Duncan, MacCready. Such a shame, his only hope at life being blown away all because of a little _power trip."_

"Whaa.." he swallowed the large amount of blood swelling his cheeks, squeezing his eyes shut again at the feel of his chest _popping_ with his attempts to breath. "What'd you...do..to him?" 

Winlock didn't answer that, only giving a sick, inhuman laugh as the gun was moved from his temple, into the middle his forehead. "Ah, what's it matter to you, anyway? Not like you'll be alive long enough to do anything about it." 

"What..did you **do?"** MacCready growled with the little breath he had left filtering through his lungs. 

Winlock chuckled darkly, yellow teeth glistening against his lips as he shook his head, finger ghosting over the trigger of his gun. "I've got connections, MacCready. You know that. Even in the Capital Wasteland, I have agents." MacCready's blood turned cold at the icy smirk Winlock cast him. "I've got eyes and ears-everywhere, MacCready. It's only a matter of time till they hear about this, then what's going to happen to poor little Duncan? What do you think?" 

MacCready's heart clenched, small whimper falling from his lips and as hard as he tried to move his limbs, do anything to get out of his grasp, his body was limp under his weight. Winlcok noticed his struggle, shifting his weight so that it was just above his obviously shattered sternum, pushing down and down, MacCready losing all ability to breathe as he cried out in pain. 

_I'll see you soon, Buddy,_ he thought distantly, eyes falling shut on their own volition. The gun against his head made one last click, Winlock's disgusting chuckle the last thing he was going to hear on this fucked up earth, and he waited, and _waited-_

"Get the _fuck_ away from him." MacCready's eyes snapped back open, craning his head as much as he could toward the voice. His vision was blurred at the edges, but he could clearly make out the figure of Axel, standing a few feet behind Winlock, gun raised high despite the blood dripping into a large puddle at his feet off his arm. 

MacCready cried out in pain and surprise as he felt his body being ripped up into a slouched over standing position, the gun being pressed back onto his temple as Winlock held him up from behind. 

"You even so much as touch that trigger, his brains are going all over the pavement." Winlock hissed, pressing the metal further into his skin for gold measure.

Axel's eyes locked straight onto MacCready's, and MacCready knew in his dishevelled state that he was trying to tell him something but he just couldn't make it out. Axel looked back up to Winlock before MacCready could even make sense of it all, a confident smirk on his face. "Who said anything," he paused, dropping his rifle onto the floor and raising his hands above his head, "about using guns?" MacCready tried struggling against his grip, because _godamn_ he'd never known Axel to be so stupid, but Winlock's grip tightened around his neck and he was seeing stars in his vision. He stopped moving altogether, going limp in his hold as he could do nothing but watch as Axel's head blossomed into a red firework show-but then he started chuckling. 

If it took MacCready by surprise, it definitely doubled on Winlock as he felt his grip loosen slightly around his neck. "What the-what the fuck? Just what the fuck are you laughing for?" He hissed, training his pistol against MacCready's back. 

Axel resumed his chuckling, the cackles of a madman before them as he leaned down, hands clutching against his knees as he wiped at his eyes, smirking back up at Winlock. He straightened again, showing off just how tall he really was as he towered easily over the two of them, expression darkening as he looked at Winlock with a bone-chilling glare. "Boom," he growled out simply, and immediately after, an ear-piercing explosion sounded out right behind MacCready, immense heat surrounding his body as he felt as if he were on _fire,_ Winlock's hold on him finally releasing right after he felt a small pressure against his lower spine. New hands were grabbing at him, pulling them toward something hard and beating under his ears as he was lifted up and far away from the burning sensation against his skin, back being pressed cold metal as hands went to cover his ears against the aftershock explosions. 

Sooner than it started, the explosions were gone, and the two were greeted with nothing but silence and the raw stench of blood, sweat, and something and everything burning around them. 

MacCready blinked once at Axel, confusion sweeping over him as Axel's expression turned from determined to worried, his hands pawing at his back and his lips forming _some_ kind of words he couldn't make out.

"What?" He managed to whisper, Axel's green eyes full of panic as they snapped up to him. 

"I said, are you okay? God, MacCready, he _shot_ you."

MacCready furrowed his brows at that, because no he didn't. He had _tried,_ he'd give him that, but he couldn't. That explosion had beat him to the punch. "No he didn't." 

"MacCready," Axel said, worry clear in his voice as he reached down, hands grazing a rather tender part of MacCready's skin just above his waistline and he winced lightly, trying to squirm away from his grasp. 

"Hey, cut it out," he whined, confused as to why it was getting harder and harder to get his lips to move. "That-" and then he saw as Axel withdrew his hand, fingers coated in crimson. He blinked languidly at his hand, then looked up at Axel, his face ashen and grave. 

"Oh," was all he could say before the world slipped out from under him.

* * *

The first thing he felt upon waking up was a pounding pressure against his head. Wincing, he blindly lifted a lethargic limb up to his head, cradling it gently in his hand. Jesus, how many had he _had_ last night? 

"MacCready! Oh thank God, you're-'"

"Too loud," MacCready whined, groaning against the pain in his head. 

He heard a small grunt from somewhere beside him, vision still black as he felt a hand gently lift his hand from his head, something cold and relieving pressing against his head as a cold metal was being pressed against his lips. He parted his mouth slightly, and upon realizing it was a flask of fresh water being pressed against his mouth, he opened it more greedily and swallowed large gulps of the faithful hangover cure. 

Moments after the flask was lifted away from his mouth-much to MacCready's protest-he was finally allowed to crack open those incredibly heavy eyelids just enough to see Axel sitting next to him, a little paler than usual but an expression of relief riddling his features. Upon noticing MacCready staring, he smiled full-on, one hand reaching up and curling into his hair.

MacCready hummed against the soothing rhythm of Axel's fingers, parting his lips in prep of asking what the fuck was going on, when it all of a sudden clicked in his head. 

The fight, the bot, the explosions, the fact that he'd gotten _shot-_

He gasped slightly, shifting in bed and indeed, feeling a sharp pull in his tailbone against his movements. He looked up to Axel expectantly, who was looking as if he were hiding tears.

"We really need to invest in a stronger material for that duster of your's, if you're so insistent on keeping it on. Maybe titanium lining?" He'd attempted to joke, but the wariness in his voice made MacCready's heart hurt.

"We did it?" 

Axel blinked back at him, confused at first but realization struck his features and he smiled again, nodding. "We did it."

"They're dead?" 

Axel nodded again, smile only growing. "They're dead. They're all dead. We did it, RJ."

He felt rather than realized the tears springing from his eyes as he all but ignored the sting of protest in his tailbone as he jumped up, catching Axel's face in his hands and pulling his lips against his. 

Axel made a small grunt of surprise against his lips, but quickly reciprocated, tongue darting against MacCready's lips as MacCready spread his mouth open wider, allowing him entry. His tongue slid into his mouth, twisting against MacCready's as it danced against his cheeks, getting his taste of him before he pulled away, pressing his lips back against his hungrily. MacCready felt as he was being lowered back against the bed gently, Axel trapping his legs between his own as one hand came to rest next to his ear, the other one cupping MacCready's jaw as he continued to press his lips against his, only stopping for air as little as they could before diving back into eachother. 

It wasn't until they were laying side by side on a bed, surrounded by the stale smell of sweat, blood, and battle, MacCready lying shirtless and Axel curled up on his side, stroking imaginary patterns over his bare skin that either of them said anything.

"MacCready?" 

"Hmm?" MacCready hummed, not bothering to open his eyes as his hand trailed gently through Axel's hair. 

"Who's Duncan?" 

His breath hitched, his hand tangling into Axel's hair but before Axel could make any move to apologize, MacCready hugged him closer to his body and took a deep breath in. 

"Duncan is-," he sighed, opening his eyes to the tattered roof above him, looking up to the stars against the dark blue sky traces of moonlight filtering through the cracks and illuminating them in a soft glow, "Duncan is my son."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahha, there's that "new character" I was talking about!  
> This took a hecking long time to write, and while I think it could have been a bit more action packed, I'm not so against it that I'm about to scrap it.  
> It got the point across anyway and left me with a clear transition into the new character I'm introducing.  
> Things are getting pretty heavy now, with RJ trusting him more and more and Axel finally coming around to the fact that holy shit, this is much more than just "fuck me, my wife's dead." I'm just as excited as you to see how this progresses. Fingers crossed angst doesn't get in the way!
> 
> OH! ALSO, just in case anyone was wondering, that last explosion was just from too many bullets skimming against a bus and absolutely perfect timing on Axel's part. 😏


End file.
